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The dis- game

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July 24, 2008, 04:10
haberdasher
The dis- game
If they stole his camera, he would be disleiked. Phonetically speaking, anyway.
July 24, 2008, 05:38
Valentine
Impregnable, inconceivable, and unbearable.

A couple I know got divorced on the grounds of incompatibility. He had no income, and she wasn't patible.
July 24, 2008, 18:39
<Proofreader>
"Eet is terrible," moaned the French cyclist. "I 'ave fail the drug test so now I am detoured

When Phyllis Diller divorced her husband, she was defanged

Park rangers confiscated the sick marsh bird I was tending so now I'm derailed

Theodore Roosevelt was once hit in the privates by a baseball and doctors used the latest technology to make certain nothing was broken. He saw them staring at a large negative and asked, "Is that an ordinary Kodak?"
The doctor said, No, it's X-ray, Ted."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
July 24, 2008, 21:02
wordmatic
The failed bed-maker was debunked.

The volunteer thrown out of the organization was dismembered.

The squished June bug was dismayed.
July 25, 2008, 06:39
<Proofreader>
Christine Jorgenson was deboned. (How many get that one?)
July 25, 2008, 09:29
shufitz
quote:
Originally posted by Wordmatic: The volunteer thrown out of the organization was dismembered.
Originally posted by Proofreader: Christine Jorgenson was deboned. (How many get that one?)
Or one could say that Christine Jorgenson was dismembered. Wink
July 25, 2008, 12:04
Valentine
Or even disunited.
July 25, 2008, 12:41
jerry thomas
... or, for many of us, not even remembered.

Question ..... what is the significance of Christian Hamburger ???
July 25, 2008, 12:42
<Proofreader>
Or disjointed

I understand she later reversed the operation by having an addadicktomy.
July 25, 2008, 12:57
Valentine
The surgeon who castrated him. Christine took her name from him. She had enough sense to choose his first name, not his last.
July 25, 2008, 13:13
<Proofreader>
Not many people are aware that NASA was involved in the first sex change operations, using unmanned rockets
July 25, 2008, 16:07
<Proofreader>
Hormel has developed a revolutionary new process for making ready-to-eat hams. The hams are immersed in briny, ocean water for two days until the salt infuses the meat. Once you try one of these delicious hams, you will never eat an unsecured ham again.
July 27, 2008, 19:48
shufitz
The MD was dessicated. < Asa, thank's for suggesting this word. >

The Bahamian sailor was decayed.

Quote: "Was Pol pot a despot?"
Yes, just as Mussolini was deduced.
July 27, 2008, 19:59
<Proofreader>
quote:
Quote: "Was Pol pot a despot?"
Yes, just as Mussolini was deduced.

Muwssolini's gay lover was induce.
During WW2, Mussolini was busy conducting land warfare, so he turned the navy over to a seduce.
The Italian Minister of Propaganda was an adduce.
His press secretary was produce.
When he was deposed, Mussolini was a Sadducee
If the Devil sits for his portrait, is it an impose?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
July 28, 2008, 10:37
haberdasher
quote:
If the Devil sits for his portrait, is it an impose?

And here I always thought impose was a mischief-making sugar.

(...the way GREASE is the enzyme that digests graduate-school aptitude examinations...)
July 28, 2008, 12:19
<Proofreader>
quote:
And here I always thought impose was a mischief-making sugar.

quote:
If the Devil sits for his portrait, is it an impose?

And here I always thought impose was a mischief-making sugar.

You're right. The Devil is in an imposition.
July 28, 2008, 12:49
jerry thomas
Is this the right place to post children's versions of prayers and such ??

Like, (at the funeral for a dead bird) "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, into the hole he goes."

And, "Give us this day our jelly-bread.

But the best I have heard is "Blessed art Thou a monk's swimmin'"

None of these is original with me ... just thought they deserve repetition ... FWIW
July 28, 2008, 15:11
Valentine
I've recently seen the first and third of those in some other forum.

One of my favorites is:

One nation, under God, in a window sill.
July 28, 2008, 16:01
<Proofreader>
They took away the foreign diplomat's briefcase so he is now unattached (pronounced "shay'd)

"Pay no attention to the cuts, ref," said the battered and bloody pugilist. "I'm really unabashed."

The earthquake ruined my spring so now I'm unwell.

If you "white out" an obscene remark, does that make it unscene?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
August 06, 2008, 18:29
<Proofreader>
A sideshow charlatan was told to remove himself and his canvas cover so now the carnival is discontented
August 06, 2008, 19:32
jerry thomas
Are the Caregivers annoyed by the inpatients' impatience ?
August 07, 2008, 08:34
<Proofreader>
Mussolini was deposed, then rescued by the Germans, who put him back in power. So was he not reduced?

What side of the road should you be on in Japan? You must bereft.

Plans are underway to make a sequel to Titanic with a new director so it will be Decameron.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
August 10, 2008, 17:08
<Proofreader>
If a school district separates children by race again, is this disintegration?
August 15, 2008, 06:31
arnie
Does an American school with a poor cheerleading squad get dispirited?

Is a bad cardiac surgeon disheartened?


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
August 15, 2008, 07:53
<Proofreader>
It's been reported that Venus DeMilo (sp?) was considered dangerous until she was disarmed

If you empty containers of cremated remains, are you discerning?

I think it requires an exorcism to get dispirited.

Is abortion the same as dissemination?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
August 19, 2008, 14:29
jerry thomas
The old mink was rejected for military service because he was going bald. ..... he was deferred.
August 20, 2008, 10:59
<Proofreader>
Tarzan was killed while swinging through the trees. When they asked the coroner what the cause of death was, he said, "divine."
August 21, 2008, 01:40
arnie
After Delilah cut off Samson's hair, he was distressed.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
August 29, 2008, 11:05
<Proofreader>
If the matriarch of the superfamily Apoidea is emitting eggs, isn't that belabor?
August 29, 2008, 11:13
arnie
After Hadrian built his wall, was Britannia depicted?


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
August 29, 2008, 11:24
jerry thomas
Was Venus de Milo (Αφροδίτη της Μήλου) disarmed?
August 29, 2008, 11:47
<Proofreader>
If I close all the doors and windows in my house, am I unerring?

And if I pawned all my wife's jewelry, she'd be the same as above.

The leaders of the synagogue told the female singer that the congregation wanted a male, so they were obliged to decanter.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
August 30, 2008, 13:02
<Proofreader>
When the actor Mr. Rains got a divorce, his wife was declawed.
September 01, 2008, 11:53
<Proofreader>
My wife said, "I not only don't agree with you, I vehemently degree.
September 02, 2008, 00:52
Myth Jellies
I suspect that some of these are repeats

Funding cuts have lead to the disintegration of the Math Dept.

Pastry cooks have joined in the sous-chef strike, obviating the need for further discourse.

Epidemics force physicians out of retirement on a wave of disease.

Protesters destroyed the Nativity scene in an act of dese-creche-on.


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
September 02, 2008, 06:50
<Proofreader>
If your pants are rumpled, aren't they decreased?

Dese-creche-on! I like that.
September 03, 2008, 13:35
Myth Jellies
When the penny flattened itself on the railroad track, did it coincide with anything else?


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
September 03, 2008, 13:49
<Proofreader>
If someone is castrated, are they deprecated?
September 03, 2008, 14:18
BobHale
quote:
Originally posted by Proofreader:
If someone is castrated, are they deprecated?


No, they're detested.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
September 03, 2008, 15:47
<Proofreader>
Of course! I was thinking of a sex change. Well, not "I". I mean someone else. Michael Jackson, for instance.
September 03, 2008, 21:49
Myth Jellies
Dad won't let us keep the dalmatian--he's such a despot.

I just can't go to Nome.

I suspect that the driver who can't tell if he is red-lining the engine is rather detached.

All the former prisoners from that jail have excelled

Is it any wonder that everyone shows up late for the noontime meeting?

Even though he knew he missed the message, the telegraph operator showed no evidence of remorse.

When they lost their gear, the fishing trawler crew formed a nonet.

After quickly performing the vasectomy reversal I made a hasty exit.

Those who didn't make the debating team were deposited right there on school grounds.

Do people in a state of normothermia have a lukewarm reception to ABBA music? (Mama Mia! that is a bit of a stretch)

All of his choking victims were rather exasperated by his behavior.

Are those who are unconfirmed relegated to the nook?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Myth Jellies,


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
September 06, 2008, 16:33
<Proofreader>
My castle was impregnable until it was demoted.
September 06, 2008, 22:05
Myth Jellies
Torvill and Dean fall in the Olympics! Ice dancing partnership unravels.

The hernia operation was actually a success because of the disruption.


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
September 06, 2008, 22:50
jerry thomas
When the Antarctic ice cap melts off, the glaciated valleys will be discovered.
September 07, 2008, 05:57
<Proofreader>
The president said, "If Al Gore is right about global warming, that will be so uncool."
September 08, 2008, 08:46
<Proofreader>
A bee got me but the doctor distinct me.
September 09, 2008, 19:55
Myth Jellies
I imagine that Proofreader's bee wound up rather disappointed by the whole affair.

You know, it wasn't until she changed her name from Chris to Cris that she became a dish.


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
September 09, 2008, 20:19
Myth Jellies
If you're looking for the former base commander, you'll find him down at the local disco


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
September 10, 2008, 08:25
<Proofreader>
My lawn turned an awful shade of brown this summer, so I painted it green... but I digress.
September 10, 2008, 22:40
Myth Jellies
Her marriage has given Mrs. Ng such a consonant outlook.


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp