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Picture of bethree5
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Sorry to have been just catch-as-catch-can for weeks. I have been having stomach issues thewhole last year which became too acute/ frequent during Aug holiday. Thought it was all just what folks w/hiatal hernia go through. Finally got to my gastro last wk, have had a series of tests: looks like El Estomago has breached its bounds & turned upside-down! Eek

So there will be another test, & surgery for sure, maybe in late Fall. At this point eating = grazing (lost 22 # in a yr w/o trying!), w/painful episodes wkly, so just concentrating energy on getting my PT-teaching classes afloat next wk.

Will keep you posted.
 
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Wow, that sounds painful! I hope the surgery goes smoothly and you recover quickly!!! Take gentle care in the meantime.


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
 
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Oh, dear. Sorry about that, Bethree. We have been missing you!
 
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Thanks sattva & Kalleh.
The subject seems potentially humorous & I'm ready to hear it. Any & all jokes, puns, verse on upside-down or otherwise misplaced stomachs welcome.
 
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Picture of Proofreader
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Pardon while I digest this info.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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I too have a high anal hernia. That explains the bad taste in my mouth.
 
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Chortle! Big Grin Big Grin
Yes, keep'm comin'! I'm working on a G&S song parody will post soon...
 
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Bethree is a lim-writing lass
Who complained that she suffered from gas.
Said the doc, "We shall check
By a tube down your neck,
And as bonus, stick one up your ass."

During one of my recent hospital adventures, they inserted a Foley tube. Delicacy prevents me denoting its actual location. Suffice it to say it was the worst pain I've ever felt. I told the nurse it must be worse than giving birth. She said, "Have you ever tried pushing a watermelon through a keyhole?"

May your intrusions be less painful.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Proofreader,


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Heh, heh, proof I can totally relate. Sadly my eldest [who suffered from an an autoimmune disease that affected joints, eyes et al organs] had to endure many a Foley. Kudos to you for getting past that & on to more important things like limericks! Love this one here, it's going into my archive Big Grin
 
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Here's my G&s parody (from SS Pinafore).
The 1st few original verses go like this:

A wandering minstrel I--
A thing of shred and patches,
Of ballads, songs and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby!
My catalog is long,
Thro every passion ranging,
And to your humours changing,
I tune my supple song!
(Bis)

Are you in a sentimental mood?
I'll sigh with you!
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
On maiden's coldness do you brood?
I'll do so too!
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
I'll charm your lover's ears
With songs of lover's fears.
While sympathetic tears
My cheeks bedew-
Oh sorrow, sorrow !

--------
Here's my take:


A wandering stomach I--
A thing of gurgling gases,
A bit of food which passes,
And lots more which won't pass at all!
My catalog is long,
Through every swallow ranging,
And to your humours changing,
I heat up the hammer and tong!

Are you feeling hungry now?
I'll egg you on!
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
On spicy tasty foods you brood?
I'll do so too!
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
I'll push you to indulge
Then hit you with a bulge
And soon to you divulge
Horrific pain -
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
 
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Wow, Bethree - that is wonderful. You should share it with your gastroenterologist! Smile
 
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Any further word on your defective methane generator?
 
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Ah, thanks, caring wordcrafter friends!

After many a test, my official dg is "Giant Paraesophageal Hiatal Hernia". (Send in the Puns.)

Many silver linings--

the main one being that despite its unorthodox position [paraesophageal, meaning it's sitting up there atop the diaphragm 'next to the esophagus']-- there are no twists/ volvuli, lung & heart functions uncompromised, & it's functioning more or less normally. Since I've managed to adapt eating habits to minimize symptoms, it's not an emergency, & I can delay operation to optimal date [Dec 18], i.e., w/least disruption to my part-time teaching schedule. (My agent had tested the waters among PreK directors re:absences, & they were like, 'Fine, we'll just pull Spanish & do something else [ Eek].

Meanwhile I'd found a recent NHI study online comparing laparoscopic vs gen surg repair for this, & learned the former has much-reduced incidence of recurrence/complications, but has only been around for 10-15 yrs, so, hard to find experienced surgeons-- again I lucked out. The bariatric/ adv abdom surg practice recommended by my gastro is the only source for this in my region outside NYC (& they're 20 mins away-- & do ops at my local hosp Smile

& of course laparoscopic surgery means recovery is 4 wks rather than 6-8, so I'll be good to teach again after the new year.

Only downers: I'll be on liquid diet over XMas, & 'mush' over New Yrs... & dammit, I just got in 4 prs of jeans in the next size down [have lost 25# in a yr due to catering to Wandering Stomach], & realize now I'll probably go down another size from 'recovery diet'.. oh well, tiny violin for that problem. I'd been carrying an extra 40-60# for 30 yrs due to childbirth at age 37-39-41... Hello, old figure!
 
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quote:
I'd been carrying an extra 40-60# for 30 yrs due to childbirth at age 37-39-41.

Funny... I gained similarly and was never pregnant.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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All I got for my hiatal hernia repair was a bigger hole in my esophagus. Now I can swallow for the first time since I don't know when. Nothing but a tube down the gullet. Alas, I've GAINED weight! Now I look pregnant. Frown

Anyhow, glad to hear things are looking up!
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Geoff:
All I got for my hiatal hernia repair was a bigger hole in my esophagus. Now I can swallow for the first time since I don't know when. Nothing but a tube down the gullet. Alas, I've GAINED weight! Now I look pregnant. Frown

Anyhow, glad to hear things are looking up!

Thanks Geoff-- good grief you had this issue too, bummer. It's so nice to swallow, right? Wink. I'll take your warning tho & try to avoid rebound-style eating.
 
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Originally posted by Proofreader:
quote:
I'd been carrying an extra 40-60# for 30 yrs due to childbirth at age 37-39-41.

Funny... I gained similarly and was never pregnant.
Big Grin Big Grin
 
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Combining threads, bethree5, going deaf is hard to swallow!
 
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I gained weight too. I am trying to lose some and know that I will gain sagging skin and more wrinkles!!! I have lost because of illness before, too. It is not a good way to lose, is it?!

Please keep us informed, Bethree5, of how you are doing. We will be thinking of you and sending you prayes/good energy!


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
 
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How are you doing, Bethree?
 
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