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My dad will be buried today. He was 98 years young and still lived alone, though it was becoming increasingly apparent that he might not be able to do that much longer. There was no long, sustained illness. His heart just gave out. The visitations today and this evening (well, now yesterday), changed my perspective on such things. So many people expressed caring and appreciation for my dad, and shared their stories about him, that i found it healing. It took some of the pain away of losing him, and i felt gratitude for the people who are supporting my family and me.


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
 
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Thanks for including us!
 
Posts: 4443 | Location: In a cornfield in central IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
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I am so sorry for your loss, Sattva. I wish I would have known him. Just know we are thinking about you.
 
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I am sorry to hear about your loss. Whenever I read about someone else's loss it still brings back the memories of my own parents and the wonderful support people gave me at that time. It's a hard time but hopefully the support of your friends will help you through it.
 
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Thanks Geoff, Kalleh, and Bob. Yes, I consider myself very fortunate to have the support of so many people. It helps, also, to know that Dad didn't want to ever have to go into a nursing facility and he didn't have to do that; and, that his death was quick and apparently painless.


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
 
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Based on what I've seen with my spouse's mother, who is in such a facility, his was the right decision.
 
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Sorry to read of your loss, sattva. At least he appears to have lived his last years as he wanted.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
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Dear saatva,
((((((Hugs!)))))
I still remember feeling like my I had a hole in my chest when I got word my dad had suffered a heart attack/ aneurism. We had a huge party for him a couple of months later, like a posthumous wake, where old friends gathered. That was over a dozen years ago. He appears often in my dreams, checking on my house & fixing things just as he did in life. I am glad you had your dad for a long long time, & that he passed peacefully at home.
 
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I hope you don't mind if I tell a small story that might also bring you some comfort. We held the wake for my father in his local pub and everybody told me how much he would be missed and what a wonderful old gentleman he had been. But that's what people do at wakes.
A couple of months later I went into the same pub with a friend and while I was sitting there an old guy came up to me and said, "Excuse me. Are you Bob Hale's son?" I had no idea who he was but I told him that I was. He sat down and joined us and told me how sorry he had been that he couldn't make it to the funeral and for half an hour I talked about my Dad to a total stranger who had somehow recognized me. It was a heartwarming experience. We don't always realise how much our parents are respected in their community. These memories are always bittersweet. There's a tear in my eye just writing it down now. Always remember that it's OK to be sad when you think about your father but you should be happy too for the life he led.
 
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Thanks everyone! Yes, he has already appeared in my dreams, Bethree! Geoff, i have already been in three different nursing/rehab facilities, the longest for two months. It helps if you are cognitive and able to get around some. I saw things though that bothered me greatly. I agree, Arnie. Beautiful story, Bob.


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
 
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