A colleague is leaving and I am collecting recipes from everyone to build a recipe book. I am looking for an appropriate poem to put in the book. Shu gave me this one:

THE CLEAN PLATTER

Some singers sing of ladies’ eyes,
And some of ladies lips,
Refined ones praise their ladylike ways,
And course ones hymn their hips.
The Oxford Book of English Verse
Is lush with lyrics tender;
A poet, I guess, is more or less
Preoccupied with gender.
Yet I, though custom call me crude,
Prefer to sing in praise of food.


Food,
Yes, food,
Just any old kind of food.
Pheasant is pleasant, of course,
And terrapin, too, is tasty,
Lobster I freely endorse,
In pate or patty or pasty.
But there’s nothing the matter with butter,
And nothing the matter with jam,
And the warmest greetings I utter
To the ham and the yam and the clam.
For they’re food,
All food,
And I think very fondly of food.
Through I’m broody at times
When bothered by rhymes,
I brood
On food.

Some painters paint the sapphire sea,
And some the gathering storm.
Others portray young lambs at play,
But most, the female form.
“Twas trite in that primeval dawn
When painting got its start,
That a lady with her garments on
Is Life, but is she Art?
By undraped nymphs
I am not wooed;
I’d rather painters painted food.


Food,
Just food,
Just any old kind of food.
Go purloin a sirloin, my pet,
If you’d win a devotion incredible;
And asparagus tips vinaigrette,
Or anything else that is edible.
Bring salad or sausage or scrapple,
A berry or even a beet.
Bring an oyster, an egg, or an apple,
As long as it’s something to eat.
If it’s food,
It’s food;
Never mind what kind of food.
When I ponder my mind
I consistently find
It is glued
On food.

Ogden Nash

I of course like Ogden Nash, but it's a titch long. Thoughts?

The first thing I thought of was Food, glorious food from the musical Oliver!. It's not really a poem as it's a song, and it also is pretty long, but here it is:

Is it worth the waiting for,
If we live till eighty-four,
All we ever get is,
GRUEL,
Everyday we say a prayer,
Will they change the bill of fare,
still we get the same old
GRUEL

There's not a crust,
Not a crumb can we find,
Can we beg can we borrow or cadge,
But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill,
when we all close our eyes and imagine.

Food, glorious food,
Hot sausage and mustard,
While we're in the mood,
Cold jelly and custard,
Pease pudding and saveloys,
What next? Is the question,
Rich gentlemen have it, boys
In dye-ges-ti-on!

Food, glorious food,
We're anxious to try it,
Three banquets a day,
Our favourite diet!
Just picture a great big steak,
Fried, roasted or stewed,
Oh! Food, wonderful food, marvellous food, glorious food

Food, glorious food,
what is there more handsom
gulped swallowed or chewed,
still worth a king's RANDSOM,

what is it we dream about,
what brings on a sigh,
piled peaches and cream about,
six feet HIGH

food, glorious food,
eat right through the menu,
just loosen your belt
two inches and then you,
work up a new appetite,
in this interlude
then, food, once again, food, fabulous, food, glorious food,

food, glorious food,
don't care what it looks like,
burned underdone crude,
don't care what the cook's like,
just thinking of growing fat,
our senses go reeling,
one moment of knowing that,
full up FEELING

food, glorious food,
what wouldn't we give for
that extra bit more,
that's all that we live for
why should we be fated,
to do nothing but brude,
oh food, magical, food, wonderful, food, marvellous, food,
fabulous, food, beautiful, food, glorious food!

Here's one I particularly liked as the sentiments correspond with my own feelings, although from the vocabulary used it's written by someone from outside the USA: Salad is incompatible with life.

I'm placing the fork in 'tween my gums.
Look out, stomach, for here the food comes.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

Have one of mine


In Ecuador I've eaten ants straight from a log
In China I was served with a fricassee of dog
In Japan they give you blowfish but without the poison in
But Finnish supermarkets sell Rudolph, in a tin.

Those are great! I think my favorite is arnie's about the salad, though. So funny!