Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  The Written Word    Limericks that use the eccentricities of English spelling.
Page 1 2 
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Limericks that use the eccentricities of English spelling. Login/Join
 
Member
Picture of arnie
posted Hide Post
Trying to get that limerick past the workshopping process in something resembling its original form was one of the reasons I lost interest in the OEDILF.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
Posts: 10930 | Location: LondonReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Yes, Arnie, it can be difficult.

We are still barraged by the cicadas...

The cicadas are screaming and crying;
They are crawling all over...and flying.
The trees are all covered;
The ground is just smothered.
Thank goodness in weeks they'll be dying!
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
When you get those cicadas you'll beat them
If you creep up and carefully greet them.
Don't scare them away
Just collect some each day
Then cook them and gleefully eat them.

See here http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/food/404989,FOO-News-det06.article


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Yes. I've heard that this year's Taste of Chicago will feature cicadas. Shu has promised to eat some, so he'll let you know how they taste. I just don't have the nerve, after looking into their beady little eyes!
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
BACK TO ORIGINAL THREAD IDEA

Been slapping my forehead for weeks
Trying to one-up our word-nerdy geeks
With a limerick where "St. John"
Rhymes with more than just "injun"
But alas, I have not the techniques.
 
Posts: 2050 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
You can't find a good rhyme for St John?
Well how about hair with a fringe on?
Or a door with a hinge on
A towel with a singe on --
Gosh - I'm getting a St rhyming binge on.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
The cicadas are now calming down,
And soon they will get out of town.
Then in 17 years...
We'll give them 3 cheers.
(Though by then I do hope I'm around!)

The rhyming isn't perfect, I know. It is amazing to think how old one will be in 17 years! I imagine life will be very different then.
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
quote:
It is amazing to think how old one will be in 17 years!

Now Kalleh I'm perfectly sure
That in this space of time (maybe more)
Though the years may fly by
And hard though they try --
You'll still only look thirty-four.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
Back to the thread, as it's shortly time for the annual shindig at Henley http://www.hrr.co.uk/ I am prompted to submit this. Incidentally, my mother used to live in Henley and Regatta week was always a highlight of our visits. Brakspeare's wonderful beer...

The Regatta at Henley-on-Thames
Brings girls out all covered in ghames.
But sadly my eyes
Are drawn to their theyes
And the dizzying height of their hames.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Not a limerick, but it seems to belong here with all our cicada limericks. We went to an outdoor concert performance last night at Ravinia, and their program had this review of the 17-year cicadas:

Consider the major historical events occurring in those years of cicada infestations:

1905: Russian sailors mutiny on the battleship Potemkin.
1922: Mussolini's Facists march on Rome.
1939: Germany invades Poland.
1956: Soviet tanks roll into Hungary.
1973: Arab oil embargo creates crisis throughout industrialized world.
1990: Iraq invades Kuwait.
2007: Donald Trump calls Rosie O'Donnell "a big fat pig." Big Grin
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
I was researching American vs British pronunciation and look what I found!

I.
A young man named Chalmondley Colquhoun,
Once kept for a pet a babolquhoun,
His aunt said "Chalmondley!
Do you think it quite Calmondley
To feed a babolquhoun with a spolquhoun?"


II.
A lively young damsel named Menzies
Inquired: "Do you know what this thenzies?"
Her aunt, with a gasp,
Replied: "It’s a wasp,
And you’re holding the end where the stenzies."
 
Posts: 2050 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Hic et ubique
posted Hide Post
Can't seem to find this one on-line, so I'm going by memory:

There once was a lady from Worchestershire
Who Yorchestershire to crow like a Rorchestershire.
She was rumored to climb
Seven trees at a time
But her Sirchestershire Yorchestershire Borchestershire.
 
Posts: 1204Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Hic et ubique
posted Hide Post
By the way, as discussed here, a Gilbert and Sullivan song rhymes two three-syllable words, one being "palaces", the other beginning with the f-sound. To their British ears, fallacies qualified as a rhyme, but to a US ear it would have to be phalluses. Wink
    [Singing to their anti-monarchist, republican friends:]

    Replying, we sing
    As one individual,
    As I find I'm a king,
    To my kingdom I bid you all.
    I'm aware you object
    To pavilions and palaces,
    But you'll find I respect
    Your Republican fallacies.
 
Posts: 1204Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of zmježd
posted Hide Post
There once was a lady from Worchestershire

I think you need to drop the -shires, which IIRC would be pronounced.

Found online.

There once was a lady from Worcester
Who uorcest to crow like a rorcester
She uorcest to climb
Two trees at a time
But her sicester uocest to borcester

And an alternate here.

A sensitive lady from Worcester.
At a ball met a fellow who gorcester;
A lecherous guy
With blood in his eye,
So she ducked out before he sedorcester.

There is a Worcester, MA. My father-in-law's father worked in a factory there early in the last century. I also known a few people from Worcester, and I always love hearing them pronounce it in Massachusettsese.


Ceci n'est pas un seing.
 
Posts: 5085 | Location: R'lyehReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
There is a limerick written by a character in one of Isaac Asimov's Black Widower stories, "Out of Sight", it is printed there in all caps, so I'll do the same.

YOU CAN'T CALL THE BRITISH QUEEN MS.
TAIN'T AS NICE AS ELIZABETH IS.
BUT I THINK THAT THE QUEEN
WOULD BE EVEN LESS KEEN
TO HAVE HERSELF MENTIONED AS LS.
 
Posts: 886 | Location: IllinoisReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
quote:
YOU CAN'T CALL THE BRITISH QUEEN MS.

I once thought Ms to be an abbreviation for which there is no original word and thus "Mizz" seemed correct. However, I did read once that it was actually an abbreviation for "mistress" used in its early sense (that is, a lady of unspecified marital status, not an adulterous partner).

If this were true, then Ms should be pronounced mistress (not mizz), as Mr is pronounced mister (not merr).

But I doubt that will happen since "mizz" is so entrenched.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
quote:
There once was a lady from Worcester

The rhyme doesn't work perfectly since "Worcester" is pronounced "wouster", with the short "oo" sound as in "could".

"Rooster" is pronounced with a slightly longer "oo" as in "goose".

Or it is in my dialect, anyway.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Caterwauller
posted Hide Post
quote:
I've heard that this year's Taste of Chicago will feature cicadas. Shu has promised to eat some, so he'll let you know how they taste.


Well? How did those big beetles crunch?
Did you eat just a few, or a bunch?
Did you get them deep-fried,
or with chocolate or pied?
Did you save some for next day at lunch?


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
Posts: 5149 | Location: Columbus, OhioReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
A lazy young chap called McMahon
Threw all of his socks in a bahon.
Than he set it on fire
And as it burned higher,
Said "Easier to buy than to dahon".


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of jerry thomas
posted Hide Post
Richard, if you can provide a translation it will be easier for me to understand. As is, it's impossible.

Thanks.

~~~~~~ jerry
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
McMahon is an English surname. The "Mahon" component is pronounced "Marn"


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of zmježd
posted Hide Post
understand

To make matters even worse, Jerry, British English, in its RP variety, is a non-rhotic dialect of English. So that what Richard writes as "Marn" he would pronounce as /mɑn/ in IPA so as to rhyme, to our ears, with pond sans the final -d.

Funny enough, in my US dialect of English, I would pronounce the proper name McMahon so that it would not rhyme with barn or darn: thus /mək'mejən/ in IPA, having two syllables in rapid or three in careful speech. Though, I have heard others in the States pronounce the name to rhyme with man /mək'mæn/.


Ceci n'est pas un seing.
 
Posts: 5085 | Location: R'lyehReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of jerry thomas
posted Hide Post
Thanks, zmježd

Now I get it.

* * ** *** ***** ******** ***** *** ** * *
A lazy young fellow named Jake
Threw all of his socks in the lake
As they all disappeared
Jake muttered, "how weird!
This Limerick's an obvious fake, since it has absolutely nothing to do with the eccentricities of English spelling."

* * ** *** ***** ******** ***** *** ** * *

Another young fellow named Lee
Had bare feet -- no dahoned sox -- you see.
This benighted young fool
On returning from school
Lost them all in the WC
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
quote:
Now I get it.

Yep. Me too.

There once was a woman named Kalleh,
Who couldn't earn even a dollar (English proununciation)
Explaining logistics
Of Wordcraft's linguistics.
In language she's hardly a scholar. (Once again...English or east coast pronunciation.)

So, my British friends, do Kalleh, dollar and scholar rhyme? If not, does anything rhyme with Kalleh?
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
There are loads of words I rhymed with Kalleh:
There's Sally and valley and alley.
But now you all holler,
This word rhymes with dollar --
Are you saying a dollar's a "dally"?


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
In the U.S. the a in Kalleh has the "ah" sound, and the eh sound much like eh sounds. So it is pronounced: KAH-leh. You put y on the end? I thought it would be similar to your pronunciation of idea, which you say as idear. I thought this would be pronounced as Kaller.

There is nothing in American English, as far as I know, that rhymes with our pronunciation of Kalleh.
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
EH is usually pronounced as a short diphthong "a" in my dialect. As in "hay" or "say". But it can also be a short pure "e" as in "see". But this is less common.

So my guess is that you are pronouncing "Kalleh" as "cah-lay".

Few perfect rhymes but "parley" is pretty close and "barley", "Charlie", "Harley" and "gnarly" all seem reasonably close as well.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of jerry thomas
posted Hide Post
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Kallooh! Kalleh!"
He chortled in his joy.

Kalleh, you were one of the first WordCrafters I met when I joined this outfit. This being visual and not audio, I thought your name would sound as it does in the above edited version of Jabberwocky, where it rhymes with "day."

Some time later I heard you pronounce it with the final syllable sounding much like what linguists call "schwa." But I had never seen "schwa" spelled "eh," and by then Kallay was ingrained in my head, as it will probably remain.

~~~~ jerry
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
If the last syllable as a shwa, then there are a few more possibilities (including "dollar" pronounced the with the first syllable as "ah"). And, of course, "parlour".


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of zmježd
posted Hide Post
I guessed that Kalleh's name was pronounced /'kɑlə/ as it was based on the Yiddish word כלה (kale) 'bride; daughter-in-law' which, in turn, is from the Hebrew כלה (kalāh) of the same meaning. Since both words are written in a different alphabet, I just assumed that Kalleh used an ad hoc transliteration, along the lines of challah for braided egg bread (with which word I would rhyme Kalleh), when picking her online name.


Ceci n'est pas un seing.
 
Posts: 5085 | Location: R'lyehReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of TrossL
posted Hide Post
I thought that Kalleh was pronounced like the "Cal" at the beginning of the word California and ending with Leh which rhymes with heh (which Strolin uses on line to indicate laughter " heh heh heh"). But to my raised in the Chicago suburbs ears, this does NOT rhyme with dollar and scholar, which to me rhyme with holler.
 
Posts: 784 | Location: Atlanta, GAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
But what can one rhyme well with Trossl?
Well we have a thrush called a throstle;
Apostle's a rhyme
And colossal's sublime --
But the best rhyme, I fear, is a fossil.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Hic et ubique
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Richard English:
But what can one rhyme well with Trossl?
[hic, liking RE's creation, but unable to pass up the chance to tweak CJ]

Ahem! Quite some time ago, I responded to TrossL's sad tale of her failed attempt to get CJ (the self-proclaimed King-of-the-limerick) "under the mistletoe". She related:
    He had pillows from the floor to the ceiling
    You'd dive in, your drunk senses reeling
    You'd throw him a pass
    He'd miss it, dumb ass!
    Too much eggnog, so how are you feeling?
Upon which woeful tale I commented thus (see last limerick):
    Chris bypassed his chance at a unity?
    Passed out – and passed up opportunity?
    To fumble a pass
    From a passionate lass
    Is not just being passive – it's lunacy.

    The excuse CJ gives is complex,
    But the truth of it shouldn't perplex.
    It wasn't was compunction,
    But rather, disfunction:
    De minimis, non curat Rex.

    Forget about CJ, dear TrossL:
    Only his ego's collossL.
    When you can be had
    By a lusty young lad,
    Who needs a shriveled old fossL?
 
Posts: 1204Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
Well TrossL now here is the RiddL
Do you go for the top or the MiddL?
I reckon I know
And could easily show --
For the best tunes you need an old FiddL!


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of TrossL
posted Hide Post
A riddle you say? Here's my answer...

While the young lad can do it again,
(and again, and again, and again!)
If it's all up to me,
I'd much rather be
In bed with the well rehearsed men.

'Cause the men with experience know
How to make women sigh and to glow;
And to gasp and to pant
Like those quickies just can't--
All my favors on them I bestow.
 
Posts: 784 | Location: Atlanta, GAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Hoo...it's getting hot in here on Wordcraft!

As for Kalleh, I first found it in a Yiddish book, but since then I have heard it pronounced by a Rabbi. I used to pronounce it like Cal, too, TrossL, but the Rabbi prounounced it KAH-leh, so I used him as my authority. Maybe he just had a cold!
 
Posts: 23298 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
Well TrossL I hope that you'll go
To Columbus, so then you might know
At the Wordcraft Convention
(Which I thought I'd just mention)
Whether this fiddle still has its bow. Wink


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of jerry thomas
posted Hide Post
Out of the blue came the following ... posted here and now For What It's Worth .....


A blonde who was typically dumb,
Intellectually number than numb,
Mixed up the mixtures
Developing pictures
Saying, "Some day my good prints will come."

© 2007 jerry thomas
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 2  
 

Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  The Written Word    Limericks that use the eccentricities of English spelling.

Copyright © 2002-12