Wordcraft Community Home Page
Limericks, reinvigorated

This topic can be found at:

March 18, 2006, 20:45
jerry thomas
Limericks, reinvigorated
According to Mrs. O'Leary,
When faced wth the Fire Marshall's query,
The culprit, her cow,
(Though she doesn't know how)
Confirms the arsonist theory.
March 19, 2006, 18:16
While Mrs. O'Leary's big cow,
Could have kicked and then taken a bow,
Urban myth, it is said,
Is where we are led
When making that claim...we know now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,
March 20, 2006, 04:35
Here's a mixed bag of Foggy doggerel for your possible pleasure, some almost purely wordplay, others just plain zany for zaniness' sake.

Ignatius Santander McGee
Wakes up in the crotch of a tree
And can't figure out
How this came about --
Forgetting his seven-day spree.

The Xtian conservative faction
Is fond of excessive reaction
To any idea
Not born in Judea
Or dealing with sexual attraction.

The bulk of humanity’s story
Is – facing the facts – rather gory:
It beggars belief
That all of this grief
Is somehow reflecting God’s Glory.

“The past is but prologue” said Plato
Of Athens (not yet part of NATO) –
And, having said that,
He tilted his hat
And sculpted a cat out of Pla-Do.

The sheriff whose nickname was Paladin
Was fond of a sorrowful ballad in
The key of A minor
Concerning a miner
Who broke his big bowl to put salad in.

There once was a hip New-Age dolphin
Who did Relaxation and Rolfin’.
He hoped that, one day,
He’d work out a way
To get up on land and go golfin’.

Now music’s a subtle enigma
Containing occult paradigma;
The notes in a score
Pose riddles galore –
So being confused is no stigma.

March 23, 2006, 20:00
Thanks! You are good. I always like fun rhymes.
April 03, 2006, 17:31
A very mixed bag this time, even a coupla politickle ones, hope that's not verboten.

There once was a bloke from Biloxi
Who had a pet Canvasback duck, see?
The quacker would waddle
From puddle to puddle
And churn each one into a muck-sea.

There once was a filly from Fargo
Who carried beaucoup excess cargo.
So huge was her chest
That she had a vest
Which, opened, would cover Key Largo.

Expressing emotion is “corny”
In trendy and hip Californy,
So ennui is in.
A cardinal sin
Is letting it slip you are horny.

Said Rev. Henry Ward Beecher:
"The hen is a marvelous creature!"
The hen was so grateful,
She laid him a crateful –
And thus did the hen reward Beecher.
{partial plagiary}

Our UN ambassador Bolton
Is arrogant, rude & revoltin’.
America’s rep
Is so out of step
That even our allies are boltin’!

The deeds of “The Hammer” DeLay
Would take Al Capone’s breath away!
Let's hope he does time
For organized crime –
A few hundred years sounds OK.
(And that without undue delay.
(And that's how we undo DeLay!))


April 03, 2006, 17:52
jerry thomas
We're finding it's difficult, tough
To rhyme this line off the cuff.
There must be a word
At least, so we've heard,
And we wonder, would that be enough?
April 03, 2006, 21:00
There once was a bloke from Biloxi
Who had a pet Canvasback duck, see?
The quacker would waddle
From puddle to puddle
And churn each one into a muck-sea.

How coincidental! I have posted a limerick on OEDILF that was just approved, but as it was being approved CJ objected to it. Here it is:

Biloxi is coastal in Miss.,
The home of casinos — but hiss!
Katrina has ravaged,
And looters have savaged,
This beautiful city of bliss.

Here is what CJ says:

"Camille trashed the place pretty badly in 1969 and put the beaches off limits for swimming. I was back almost a decade later and you still couldn't go into the water although swimming there was difficult in the best of times. As I recall, there were long stretches where you could walk out a hundred yards and still have the water not reach your knees. In 1970, an African-American friend of mine from California was pulled over by a Biloxi cop and given a ticket for some relatively minor offense. When my friend politely pointed out to the cop that he had marked a 'C' in the box for race, he was told (and I quote) 'That's for colored, boy!'"


"'This beautiful city of bliss'?? Have you been there? I lived there at five different times in my illustrious Air Force career and 'bliss' is not the first word that springs to mind overall. In fact, I was first there in 1970 shortly after hurricane Camille trashed the place and the locals absolutely loathed us G.I.s (something about 'stealing' delicate Southern belles from Biloxian mouth-breathers), sometimes violently so. Still, 'bliss' is a relative term, I suppose."

Given those 2 comments and always wanting to be accurate, does anyone know about Biloxi? I had heard that it was beautiful before Katrina ravaged it, but CJ obviously disagrees. Do I have it wrong? If so, suggestions?

Nice limericks, guys!
April 05, 2006, 05:11
New limerick:

There once was an old man from Lima
Who visited fair Ipanema
When The Girl started walking
the old man was gawking
And breathing as with emphysema.

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
April 05, 2006, 19:43
Nice! You should post it on OEDILF. They have just started the "BRs."

Here's the "breath" one that I just posted there:

A breath is when breathing in air,
Or blowing it out, but don't dare
You breathe out in my face;
The smell's a disgrace,
So gargle with Scope and be fair!
April 07, 2006, 03:27
You think it's good enough for all that?

It's just something I did because there is no working radio in my car and I had to do something in my head.

OK - I did it. I submitted a poem to OEDILF

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Caterwauller,

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
April 14, 2006, 20:25
I've mentioned that I'm doing work antedating OED's citations. This, from a 1930 newspaper, was the earlies antedate found for minicam. I kid you not! Big Grin
April 23, 2006, 18:57
jerry thomas
The people of Antofagasta
Are allegedly boycotting pasta.
Though they offer excuses
(Carbohydrate abuses)
Their economy is a disaster.
May 14, 2006, 12:20
Posted 14 May, 2006 20:14

A chap who would write for word-crafter
Tried hard to raise ripples of laughter
The result of his wiles
Was a glut of wry smiles
Which managed to make 'em sound dafter
May 14, 2006, 17:09
jerry thomas
A Limerick retailer named Cutter
Was alledgedly once heard to mutter,
"If you're looking for more,
Come on down to my store,
But get your mind out of the gutter."
May 14, 2006, 19:35
Thank you for that, Pearce! I am so glad you posted it. Now here is one for you:

There once was a wordcrafter, Pearce
(Not related to President Pierce),
Who was English for sure
And we hoped to lure
As a tried and true poster so fierce!

P.S....believe it or not, there is President Pierce blood in my veins. However, I am not too proud about it because he wasn't what we'd call a "stellar" president. Roll Eyes
May 16, 2006, 07:15
quote: Kalleh, I applaud your restraint. I couldn't have written a limerick that rhymed twice with limerick without using the word limp.

That isn't something within her range of experience, Sean. Wink
May 16, 2006, 07:19
I'd never thought that I was fierce,
Though distinguished by surname of Pearce.
Just a touch too pedantic
over prose too romantic
and polemics as written by Bierce.
May 18, 2006, 20:34
Of course you're not fierce, our dear Pearce.
That notion I'm soon gonna pierce!
You're such a delight
To our Wordcrafting site.
[I wish that I'd first thought of Bierce!] Big Grin

Great one, Pearce. You're a pro at this, I see.
May 19, 2006, 23:14

The protocol of this site
Repetitious, and tedious a mite
They say 'quality’s high',
Aspirations deny
Why persist until they get it right?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: pearce,
June 13, 2006, 20:19
Frank Hubeny
The pundits at OEDILF don't care
If you like what they write over there.
It's just something to do
Till the dark swallows you
And you sleep. Bless the night with fresh air.
June 13, 2006, 20:40
jerry thomas
The Limerick writer's technique
For this forum's form not unique
Should contain a big wollop
Produced by a dollop
Of an element pornographique.
June 13, 2006, 20:46
Jerry...that's great! Big Grin
June 15, 2006, 20:57
Frank Hubeny
Originally posted by jerry thomas:

Of an element pornographique.

So the ladies don't mind the pornographique stuff?

Here's one that's not about sex, just in case they do mind. Actually, I'm not sure what it is about, so maybe it is about sex and I'm just too daft to realize it.

I'm spinning the bad into good.
What's false becomes true, as it should.
It's fun! Can't you see?
No need to agree.
No need, since you can't, if you could.
June 15, 2006, 21:49
To answer your question, we don't mind the pornographique material here. Love your limerick, though it sounds like you didn't write it?

Your profile doesn't have a location, but I was wondering about your use of "daft." I don't think you're British ("realize" instead of "realise"), but "daft" might persuade me otherwise. (I love guessing games! Wink)
June 16, 2006, 17:49
Frank Hubeny
Originally posted by pearce:

A chap who would write for word-crafter
Tried hard to raise ripples of laughter
The result of his wiles
Was a glut of wry smiles
Which managed to make 'em sound dafter

Here's where I heard the word "daft". I'm not sure what it means, but that shouldn't stop me from using it.

Oh, I did write that limerick long ago. I can't remember why.

And I was wondering why my "location" was not listed, but checked the profile page and realized that I didn't put any value in the field. It should appear now.
June 16, 2006, 22:17
Amazing. We are about 2 suburbs away!

It was a great limerick, Frank. I had thought it was a classic, so that's quite a compliment!
June 23, 2006, 15:58
Frank Hubeny
It's a small world.

The limerick you wrote on OEDILF that keeps coming back to my mind as being very unusual, giving a mother's perspective, is the one defining "bris". I keep thinking "ouch".
September 10, 2006, 19:10
I have a very un-PC limerick that I can't post on OEDILF due to its un-PC-ness. But they do have this word open for submission should you be so inspired...

Our town used to be mainly white.
Now there's nary a honky in sight.
Gone's the hope of cessation
Of Africanization,
So we'll be the last whites to take flight.
September 10, 2006, 19:21
Great to see you, TrossL. I've had a bit of the DD-bug lately and thought about how much fun we used to have here writing DDs and limericks.

Yes...it is a bit un-PC, I agree. But it's good! It's too bad people are so sensitive these days.
September 11, 2006, 00:29
Richard English
It's too bad people are so sensitive these days.

Here, here!

Who wants to join the "Politically Incorrect" party?

Richard English
September 11, 2006, 01:08
jerry thomas
Our English friend Richard was yelling
"Here, here!" and we question his spelling.
Though the sound is correct,
Written in our dialect,
"Hear, hear!"'s a command more compelling.
September 11, 2006, 07:04
"Hear, hear!"

There, there. Yup.

Ceci n'est pas un seing.
September 11, 2006, 07:58
Richard English
But the party's over here...

Richard English
September 11, 2006, 09:42
But the party's over here...

The dyspeptic prescriptivist yields no ground.
He laughs not, and rarely does he smile.
Move along, li'l grammar dodgers.
There's nothing here for you to see.

Ceci n'est pas un seing.
October 29, 2006, 18:31
I was looking for this thread and searched for limerick. There are 597 posts here containing the word limerick! That's even more than the e-word. Wink

My recent trip to England inspired this one:

The language of Brits is a hoot!
Their car has a bonnet and boot;
Spotted dick they will eat;
A faggot's a treat!
And they even correctly use moot!
November 05, 2006, 19:29
Frank Hubeny
Originally posted by Kalleh:
And they even correctly use moot!

I've never made much sense out of the word "moot".

I remember hearing "moot" used about 3 years ago when someone in a meeting said that something or other was now "moot". From the context, they were implying that it was not worth discussing this thing anymore.

Although I think the correct use of the word means that the point is now open to debate. So maybe it is both: debatable, but not worth the energy needed to debate it.

So what do the British mean by it?

"Your point, sir, is moot," just might say,
"It's debatable. Have it your way.
It's not worth what you'd do
To convince me that you
Have it right. Find some new game to play."
November 06, 2006, 02:33
You're right FH Smile.

It means that the matter under discussion is still open to debate but has now become merely an academic question since it is unlikely ever to be resolved - either because events have overtaken it or because it is no longer of much importance.
November 06, 2006, 03:38
MOOT: So what do the British mean by it?

The meaning of moot is unsure
Debatable, meeting —obscure,
In law it’s uncertain,
Not veiled by a curtain
In truth it is really a bore.
November 06, 2006, 05:18
This gives a couple of good examples of how the term "moot point" is used over here Smile.

I knew that a Moot was an old term for a type of debating society and that link gives more details.
November 06, 2006, 06:02
This is something I've railed against for several years. If anyone cares they can search for "moot" in the board and they'll usually find a post by me on the subject. The meanings given in Di's link are mutually opposing, and show the way that the word has become debased. The meaning is quite definite: "A debatable question, an issue open to argument".

It is obvious that a lot of people took the word and guessed at its meaning from the context. However, they guessed wrong, and produced the second part of the definition, which is diametrically opposed to the true meaning: "an irrelevant question, a matter of no importance".

Normally I am of the descriptive persuasion when I see the meanings of words changing over time. On this occasion I feel strongly that, since the two meanings (which are often given equal weight by dictionaries) are incompatible, only the correct meaning should be given, with perhaps a usage note explaining the incorrect usage.

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
November 06, 2006, 06:17
That's funny: I've simply never heard anybody use moot in its "proper" sense. Maybe the lexicographers should remove it from the dictionary.

Ceci n'est pas un seing.
November 06, 2006, 20:06
This is something I've railed against for several years.

Awww...we feel for you, arnie. There are 79 posts here about the word "moot." It's much like me with the e-word or Richard with Thos. Edison... Wink

zmj, here is a recent post where a London newspaper used the word as originally intended.
November 06, 2006, 22:52
Frank Hubeny
It appears that the way one uses "moot" is, well, moot. (I doubt I used it correctly.)

I wonder if there are any other words like this with meanings that contradict each other. Can't be too many.
November 07, 2006, 11:12
(I doubt I used it correctly.)
You did, provided you meant it's a point for discussion, not one not worth speaking about. Smile

They are auto-antonyms or contronyms, sometimes spelled contranyms (occasionally called antagonyms, Janus words or self-antonyms). See the article in Wikipedia.

They've been mentioned here before; see http://wordcraft.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/93260709...=715107088#715107088
and http://wordcraft.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/93260709...556031351#6556031351
The latter also contains a discussion of moot!

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
November 12, 2006, 11:48
jerry thomas
An Inuit group in Seattle
Had control over large herds of cattle.
Overcoming their fears
Of the heiffers and steers
They developed a new atl-atl.
November 12, 2006, 12:47
jerry thomas
... ... a London newspaper used the word as originally intended.

This seems to imply that there's Somebody .... up There .... who issues words along with conscious intentions as to how they are to be used.

Is that how it works ?
November 12, 2006, 13:15
jerry, are you aware that the OEDILF currently has no limerick on atl-atl?
I thought maybe you'd like to post it there.

"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.

My current blog.
Photographs to accompany Anyone Can DO It available from www.lulu.com
My photoblog The World Through A lens
November 12, 2006, 20:42
Nice limerick, Jerry.

I am surprised there is no limerick on that word, Bob. There are so many limericks on such odd words, phrases and people.
November 13, 2006, 05:13
This moot discussion made me smile, because I just weathered another one on my high school email discussion group! One adamantly claimed it meant only "debatable." Others, like me, claimed it meant pointless to discuss because whatever the issue was had already been decided. Then I consulted several online dictionaries and came up with even more meanings, and Arnie, I think that some of them predate the one you and I favor, perhaps? I don't have time to research historical uses of the word right now,though:

Here's what I posted at my HS site;
Oxford English Dictionary:


adjective. subject to debate or uncertainty: a moot point.

verb. put forward for discussion.

noun 1 (in Anglo-Saxon and medieval England) a legislative or judicial assembly. 2 Law a mock trial set up to examine a hypothetical case as an academic exercise.

— ORIGIN Old English, assembly or meeting; related to MEET1.

MSN Encarta Dictionary:


1. arguable: open to argument or dispute
Whether nutritional supplements are beneficial is a moot question.

2. not relevant: irrelevant or unimportant
If they refuse to compromise, mediation is a moot issue.

3. law not legally relevant: legally insignificant because of having already been decided or settled.
Whether he was entitled to do business under that name was moot, because his company had ceased trading.

verb (past and past participle moot·ed, present participle moot·ing, 3rd person present singular moots)

1. transitive verb suggest topic: to offer an idea for consideration or a topic for discussion ( usually passive )

2. intransitive verb law have formal argument: to take part in a debate, especially one organized as an academic exercise, e.g. a hypothetical case argued among law students

noun (plural moots)

1. law debate on hypothetical issue: an academic discussion in which people such as law students argue hypothetically or plead a hypothetical legal case

2. history Anglo-Saxon local court: in Anglo-Saxon England, a formal gathering for settling legal and administrative matters

[ Old English mōt "assembly" < Germanic, "meeting"]

moot·ness noun

Merriam Webster:
Main Entry: 3moot
Function: adjective
1 a : open to question : DEBATABLE b : subjected to discussion : DISPUTED
2 : deprived of practical significance : made abstract or purely academic

November 13, 2006, 08:59
The noun form was the first. It was Old English for a meeting or assembly. It became in Anglo-Saxon usage a type of court or tribunal. The OED has it right; notice that it makes no mention of the erroneous "not worth discussing".

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.