Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  The Written Word    Limericks, reinvigorated
Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Limericks, reinvigorated Login/Join
 
Member
Picture of Proofreader
posted Hide Post
From This Generation to the Next

There’s my daughter and son-in-law Kent
And my grandkids (who were heaven-sent).
“Seeing you makes me glad.
You’re the world’s greatest Dad...”
“Cut the crap. Where the hell is my rent?”


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 6020 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Parental Relief

From his pocket a condom is seen
Like a badge. He's mature as a teen,
But the packet's well-worn
From the pocket, not torn.
As his dad, I'm not mad he's still green.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Proofreader
posted Hide Post
A Teen-Ager's Ode to a Condom

Oh, my Trojan, I don't want to lose ya
Or let time and bad weather abuse ya.
And if I find a girl
Who will give sex a whirl
Come that time, I might not even use ya.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 6020 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Big Vocabulary, But Not Much Use on the SAT

My daughter knows words my wife don't.
Hearing "milf" she will laugh. My wife won't.
She's unmoved. Does she doze?
But who knows what she knows?
I could use something rhyming with "-on't".
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Proofreader
posted Hide Post
Can't remember the last time she phone't.

"Are you sure that it's in me?" she moan't.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Proofreader,


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 6020 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Smile Those will work! If she ever reads the limerick, I'll likely be the one who moan'ts.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Ah...limericks again. Amy Dickinson wrote this one, with apologies to her distant relative, Emily:

I don't want to sound overly picky,
But using a spoon isn't tricky.
If you manage to do,
You'll sidestep the flu.
And your digits - they won't get all sticky.

Yes, definitely apologies were in order. Wink
 
Posts: 23317 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Proofreader
posted Hide Post
My wife has the flu. What a state we're in
Since nobody can open the aspirin.
This damn cap won't unsnap --
It survives hammer tap.
Curse the robot that squeezed this damn stopper in.

With apologies to my cousin, Forty Percnt Proof.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 6020 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Another book chapter, another limerick. Here is this one:

It is time that our leaders unite
To get safety and quality right.
For nurses the fact is
Transition to practice
Right now is a terrible fright!

It's probably more of an "inside limerick." This was a chapter on safety and quality in nursing, and my thesis was that we need a standardized program to transition new nurses to practice because now we only have variable programs. Some newly licensed nurses get no orientation or transition!
 
Posts: 23317 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
I am reading a book about George Putnam, a publisher, and he wrote this limerick, which I really liked:

A publishing fellow named Putnam
Discovered he couldn't quite butnam
What caused the hiatus
Was meant and potatoes
And eating whole pies without cutnam
 
Posts: 23317 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7  
 

Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  The Written Word    Limericks, reinvigorated

Copyright © 2002-12