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Picture of Richard English
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I confess that I am an offender
And mixed groups to "guys" I might render.
But it's not so absurd
Since there isn't a word
You can use for a group of mixed gender.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of jerry thomas
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In the language of South USA
It's obvious they've found a way.
When they want to call
On a group they say "Y'all"
Which might be the standard some day.
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
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Dear Pearce,

We here in the U.S. of A.
Use the term for both genders today.
While Oxford agrees
That "guys" are just "hes,"
AHD says it works either way.
 
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In Texas, there is now a trend to use y'all to mean a smallish group, and "all y'all" to mean a larger group. Currently, there appears to be no rhyme or reason to the usage of these, as some people only use "y'all", and others use "y'all" in the singular sense. I've walked into a store, and been greeted with "How y'all doing tonight?" I glanced around me to see the other people I had walked in with, but I was alone. It was very strange.
 
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I often travel in the south, and I am quite familiar witht "y'all," used either for a group or in a singular sense. However, I've not heard "all y'all." Interesting!
 
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I've also heard "Y'all boys."
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of jerry thomas
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quote:
"How y'all doing tonight?" I glanced around me to see the other people I had walked in with, but I was alone. It was very strange.


The inquiry was probably about your family, as in "How's all your folks?"
 
Posts: 6710 | Location: Kehena Beach, Hawaii, U.S.A.Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by jerry thomas:
quote:
"How y'all doing tonight?" I glanced around me to see the other people I had walked in with, but I was alone. It was very strange.


The inquiry was probably about your family, as in "How's all your folks?"


It was a random sales clerk at a department store whom I'd never met before. If it had been a close friend, perhaps they would be inquiring about my family, but that seems terribly unlikely in this case.
 
Posts: 886 | Location: IllinoisReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
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thread revived, with apologies to our limerick-haters and sports-haters...


Lament to the Cubs

They pitched like first graders in school,
Their errors and their defense? Not cool!
Then they swung those big bats
With the power of gnats.
They made us all feel like a fool!

In October as usual we're through,
That's thanks to the Cubs and their Lou.
We fans are all crying,
Though many are buying
Our tickets for next year's debut!

Will we never learn? Roll Eyes

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,
 
Posts: 23278 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Richard English
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So who is this strange-sounding "cub"?
Is it tiger or maybe lion sub?
Ah! I see it's a team
And it seems that their theme
Is rounders. They're some strange ball-game club.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8037 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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They’re a team that can make you tear hair
And all winter-long sit back and stare.
Yet imagine the spring
And the hope it will bring
That your Cubs will grow into a Bear.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 5989 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Our Chicagoans sigh in despair
No pennants will flap in the air
And as any sow knows
While gestating 'neath snows
Nine Cubs are just too much to bear


Myth Jellies
Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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'Tis amazing what lim'ricks can do
When you're down and you're feeling so blue.
They'll help me to grin,
When my patience is thin.
With the Cubs, though, I think that I'm through!
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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A Tribune reader wrote this:

Top 10 reasons why it's good the Cubs went out in the first round of the playoffs:

1) Fewer hangovers

2) Good practice for next year's letdown

3) May get back the $500 I spent on a future playoff ticket

4) Can finish those reports that were due at the end of September

5) Our favorite players have more time to spend their money

6) We will not make nine errors in a game

7) I won't be wearing my Cubs T-shirt to any more dinner parties

8) Can redirect our booing to Kyle Orton (A Chicago Bears player)

9) We don't want to be associated with the losers who only won one World Series

10) Our new goal: 200 years
 
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Picture of TrossL
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What's up with this thread? Are you through
Writing limericks for fun? That won't do!
Half a year is too long--
What the hell has gone wrong
With you folks? Start submitting anew!
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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Our game, my dear dame, provides same.
We aim for fun limericks (not tame!).
We write about places
And many are aces,
Though mine I proclaim are quite lame.

We do need some more limericks, I agree! And how about a few double dactyls?!
 
Posts: 23278 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
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These are 4 limericks I recently wrote for book chapters I've submitted for publication. I was pleasantly surprised at the editors' positive responses:

1) chapter on the approval of nursing programs:

An approval at state boards of nursing
Takes a careful review and conversing
On the health of the school
And meeting each rule.
And that's what this chapter's rehearsing!

2) chapter on interprofessional collaboration:

Since nursing's a teamwork vocation
With science and art its foundation,
Is it too much to ask
In this admirable task
That we focus on collaboration?

3) chapter on regulatory perspective on nursing education:

While planning for course innovation,
Our mantra for nurse education
Is, "Please be aware
That face-to-face care
Is vital for nurses' formation."

4) chapter on transition to practice:

In nursing let's bring to fruition
A standardized course to transition
New nurses to practice,
Like docs, cuz the fact is,
It's a safety, no-brainer position!
 
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Here's a limerick to help prime the pump on this thread. The game referred to below is Monopoly in case anyone doesn't know.


Weath Redistribution Upward

Buying Boardwalk then Park Place again
Made them fear that once more I would win.
I made loans just for fun
Knowing soon everyone
Would lose all and that all I'd take in.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
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Great, Frank! It has been far to long!

The funny part is that I've met Wordcrafters from as far as New Zealand, England, Hawaii, and yet I've never met you. We must be 10 miles from each other!
 
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Picture of wordmatic
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Have just written quite a lame one for your birthday today, TrossL. Hoping others will jump into the Community forum and leave their own, far superior, contributions to alleviate your limerick hunger on a day on which you are entitled to anything you want!

Have a happy!

WM
 
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/Don't forget Limerick Game: Boulder (formerly Wongson). I'm still on the lookout for lims to fill out the category.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 5989 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'll send you one tomorrow, Proof. I'm fading fast at this point!

Wordmatic, usually more of a night owl
 
Posts: 1390 | Location: Near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
The funny part is that I've met Wordcrafters from as far as New Zealand, England, Hawaii, and yet I've never met you. We must be 10 miles from each other!

Actually, Kalleh, we are probably less than 5 miles apart. 10 miles would get me into Evanston. One day...anyway, here's another limerick:

How to Properly Consume Them

Creepy monsters with hair head to feet
Are delicious. Some like theirs made sweet,
So with suger they're spoiled
After being well-boiled,
But quite raw they're far better to eat.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
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How To Properly Cook Them

You must first smear your monster with soil
From a grave, mixed with mashed Olive Oyl.
Then it’s covered with worms
(Making sure each one squirms)
And then cooked till you smell the meat spoil.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 5989 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Yummy

Noisy worms help the monster decay
And they're tasty with salt, by the way.
I could eat the whole lot,
All the monster has got,
But I'd share some with you any day.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
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One day...anyway, here's another limerick:

Some day I'm gonna meet Franky,
Perhaps at that mall that's so swanky.
Or share a few puns at
My favorite store Sunset.
Or bowling where surely I'll spank ye!

[The fact is, my bowling is really quite woeful!]
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
My favorite store Sunset.

There's a Sunset store downtown Northbrook that I walk by every now and then. Perhaps we have passed each other on the street?

I hear the stock market is rising fast. I guess it likes a recession. Here's a limerick in it's honor.

A Bear Watching a Bull Explode

I see that the market can't stop
Going up till it hits a new top.
There's still cash on the side
And my own wants to hide
Fearing bulls when exhausted must drop.
 
Posts: 83 | Location: Northbrook, ILReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
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Speaking of bulls...

Our Chicago Bulls basketball team
Has caused our poor Kalleh to scream!
They lost to the Celtics,
In fact they were "meltics,"
Cuz they started so well, but lost steam! Mad

We probably haven't met at Sunset because the one I frequent (and I was there today) is in Highland Park.
 
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Picture of TrossL
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This thread's blooming again, that was aim
Of my prodding. Though it's not the same
As it was in years past,
When we all had a blast...
Yup, the Bulls sure did suck that last game!
 
Posts: 784 | Location: Atlanta, GAReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Oh TrossL, now don't be so down;
My lips are beginning to frown.
We've lost our dear CJ
Who served as our DJ,
And rewarded us all with a crown.

But still we have plenty of fun
And certainly can't be outdone
By a site about lim'ricks
[That sometimes are dim dicks Eek].
Though we miss that old son of a gun!
 
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When the Red Sox said goodby to Manny,
No one knew he took juice in the can. He
Said he’d give a whirl
To some stuff for a girl.
Is he now baseball’s very first tranny?


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Picture of arnie
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Jerry loved to smoke the weed;
Mary Jane made him feel freed.
One day I saw him eat his joint,
I asked him, "What's the point?"
He said: "Smoking's bad for you, I read."

EDIT: I should say that this is not original. I saw a limerick somewhere with basically the same lines on which I've based this version.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: arnie,


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
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We all know that Jerry liked grass,
And on Wordcraft he also liked sass.
His lims were so funny,
Delightful and punny.
And on women he loved a great ass!
 
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I am not sure if this relates to anything that has been previously posted, but if you smoke enough weed, connections might come to consciousness.

The Witch, the Princess and Their Frog

A witch turned him into a frog.
Then a princess found him on a log
And she gave him a kiss
With her puffy lips. This
Was too hot to record in his blog.
 
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A Tribute To Colorado

One day in the mountain town Aspen,
I said to the girl I was graspen,
"You’re moaning like sin,
Yet I’m not even in.”
“This thin air is the reason I’m gaspen.”


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Fantasy While She Passes My Table at the Bon Jour Cafe

Her skirt keeps her hips well concealed,
But her knees and her thighs are revealed.
In the spring when lust flows,
A breeze blows, her skirt goes
Showing fruit the wind goddess has pealed.
 
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Fantasy While She Waits On My Table at the Bon Jour Cafe

My server had hands more like mitts
And her skirt round a beer barrel flits.
She’d a face like a horse
And her language was coarse--
Thank God she had beautiful tits.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 5989 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Watching My Waitress at the Bon Jour Cafe

She brings pastries and croissants to eat
While fat pigeons peck food at my feet
Seeking crumbs out of love
I might drop from above
Like I search for her smile when we greet.
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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Loving My Waiter!

He brings me my water with verve;
To him it's an honor to serve.
He's always right there,
("I'll straighten your chair.")
I wish I could kiss him...no nerve!
 
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Questions on my waitress's gender

Her manners don’t go with her job.
There’s drool on her chin. What a slob!
On her shoulder’s a chip
So no one leaves a tip.
And she says, “Not Roberta -- I’m Bob.”

Well, that thought made me spit out my egg.
And I saw Bob had quite a nice leg
But ‘twas only the right
(The left was quite a sight
Since it’s wooden --a fine pirate’s peg).

Edited for new material

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Proofreader,


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Appreciating the Coffee and Service

The coffee she's serving me could
Make me fantasize more than I should.
Waiting hot, like her lips
And that wave of her hips,
And I'm sure she would be just as good.
 
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Why You Should Ask For Directions

Are you sure we are in the same place?
Cause the waitstaff in here’s a disgrace.
My ardor is meltin’;
She looks like Red Skelton
Or a creature from deep outer space.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Attention to the Mind's Outside

When you look what you see is inside
And your mind is a wild place to hide.
In her mind, should she care
That you can't help but stare?
"So do you want it scrambled or fried?"

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Frank Hubeny,
 
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On An Active Sex Life

In my life, I have got a few whacks
When I said, "let me check out your cracks."
And I once ran and hid
When this cute buxom kid
Went inside and returned with an ax.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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The Lady and the Ax

There once was a lady named Jane
With an ax in her hand. For your pain,
Should you get her in bed,
That ax goes through your head.
She likes guys who have got half a brain.
 
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On A Fall River Massacre

Not Jane with the ax. That was Lizzie
Whose spree set her town in a tizzy.
She had picked up her ax,
Gave her folks many whacks
And went into the barn to look busy.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Barnyard Fun

Near a barn there is plenty to do,
All those horses and sheep to go through,
But sweet Lizzie and Bill
Loved the hayloft until
Both their spouses thought they'd get some too.
 
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Susan Boyle

With eight notes her new fame is complete.
Her full voice lifts the crowd to its feet
Overawed. On that stage
She's the equal of Paige
With whom few thought she ought to complete.

In case you missed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PPlkOyaqaQ
 
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Do As I Say...

To my niece, who's as cute as a bee's knees,
Vent instroctions: "No sex. You must sqveeze knees."
I was shocked ven she said,
"I chust luff men in bed.
Vat I do vit a man is my beezneez."


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
Posts: 5989 | Location: Rhode IslandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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From One Generation to the Next

My niece doesn't do what I say--
Nor my nephew who's long gone astray.
And my kids have forgot
If I taught them or not
And my wife says it's better that way.
 
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