Please send me your limericks on Paris, one of my favorite cities. Oh, I love London, too, but there aren't as many good rhymes. Here's a sample by a farm girl from Wisconsin's Janesville...

There once was a farm girl named Maris
Who lived in Wisconsin's New Glarus.
She milked all the cows
And fed the fat sows
While she dreamed of the glamour of Paris!

No Parisian limericks yet! Remember, you can pronounce it the English way or the French way.

I've got Bob's and Richard's. How about a few more? I don't really think "Paris" is that hard to rhyme, though some have complained.

You have mine as well.

WM

Besides Bob's and Richard's, I have Jerry's, Wordmatic's and Bethree's. Shu? Hab? CW? Who else here writes limericks?

Okay, here they are:

Shu's
When you go to Paree, do not trifle
With the Louvre or the Tower of Eiffel,
The Sorbonne, Sacred Heart,
Notre Dame or Montmartre:
See the Folies Bergère – there's an eyeful!

Bethree's:
A painfully civil young heiress
Consumed cassoulet while in Paris.
When she sniffed a legume
She asked, “Please, I beg you, m-
m-ay I dig this bean from my naris?”

3 from Bob
A cockney who visited Paris
Said "I won't do a fing to embarris"
But while out on Montmartre
Got as pissed as a fart
And they soon chucked him out on his 'aris.

('Aris is rather convoluted rhyming slang. Aris=aristotle=rhymes with bottle->bottle and glass->ass/arse)

And one for Frasier fans (containing the same dodgy rhyme so it probably wouldn't fly at OEDILF).

There was Niles and his former wife Maris
Who met up with Frasier in Paris
And Daphne came too
With their old Dad who
Said "Boy, this is sure to embarrass."

But my favourite - which also wouldn't fly at OEDILF because of how I'm stressing the final word, but which expresses my own deeply held personal view - is

The Chunnel* will take us to see
All the sights that there are in Paris
But there would be more sense
In our building a fence.
Let us keep out the old enemy.

*Chunnel=channel tunnel.

Wordmatic's:
When Cruella de Vil went to Paris,
She plunked herself down on a terrace
And accepted a smoke
From a weird looking bloke--
And Poof! She became Katherine Harris!

2 from Jerry
She's a nice country girl from Paris
Who was sunbathing out on the terrace
A voyeur she knew
Quickly came in to view
[deleted so as not to embarrass ...]

A lady who came from Paris
Looked askance when she saw it was me
To convert this production
Into a seduction,
Don't just say no, dear. Say "Oui."

Richard's
When he went to Edwardian Paris
The sexual writer, Frank Harris,
Would stay in Pigalle
Since he knew this locale
Was the source of Parisian aris.

Aris is Cockney Rhyming Slang.

Kalleh's Comments
One of my character flaws is that I want people to like me. Because of that, I just hated to pick a winner (though I loved winning!) because I worry that those who don't win will hate me. Please don't! I loved all of these...but I had to pick a winner. The winner is...Bob Hale's third one. I liked it because of the cultural perspective. I didn't like the stress on "enemy," but I've gotten a little more (not much!) flexible as I've participated in OEDILF.

Now...to assuage my guilt, let me tell you about about how much I liked the others. This was a very close contest!

Shu's - I loved the references to Parisian sites. And I adored rhyming "trifle" "Eiffel," and "eyeful." But, Shu, honey, choosing yours would have been nepotism. Yet, as you know, I think you are one of the best limericists around.

Bethree - I love fun rhymes, so I found "legume" and "you m" just delicious; besides that, loved the digging the bean from the nares!

Bob - Loved your "aris" and "embarris" and your explanation of "aris." And you know how I love Frazier; I very much enjoyed that one.

Wordmatic - Loved the "Poof" and becoming Katherine Harris. Great message, and you certainly must know, from my liberal political point of view, how much I despise Katherine Harris. She absolutely could have been Cruella! Just to add to this one, WM came up with this as she was loading the dishwasher. Nice use of your time, WM!

Jerry - Loved the last line of your first one. I made up all kinds of possibilities! And I liked the seduction in your second one...and the use of "oui."

Richard - You and Bob were on the same wavelength with "aris." Loved the reference to Pigalle!

Bob, you're next!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

quote:

Richard - You and Bob were on the same wavelength with "aris." Loved the reference to Pigalle!

I once stayed in a hotel just off the Place Pigalle and our bedroom had a small balcony that overlooked it. From this we could see that activities of the ladies of the night and, I can assure you, the activity was keen and continuous! I didn't find out what the fee payable was but I discovered that the ladies took only about 10 minutes to earn it - and that included travelling time to wherever they went.

Thank you. I'll post the next location in a new thread.