Well, three entries so far, all good. Come on folks - I'd not have thought that Dial Post was all that tricky to rhyme.

Still only three entries! According to RhymeZone, "dial" has 149 rhymes or near rhymes - so it shouldn't be too tricky. When I chose Dial Post I did so because I thought it would be easier than such places as Southwater, Horsham, West Grinstead and Steyning. Maybe I was wrong.

I'll write one tonight, Richard. I just forgot. One of our new registrants (toraspanda) PMd me and showed interest in joining us in this game. I'll try to encourage him.

I don't intend to enter, mainly because my attempts at limericks are so poor. However, I wouldn't say that the lack (or otherwise) of rhymes for "dial" is all that important. Surely the important rhyme should be with "post"?

Right, the problem isn't rhymes for Dial, or even really, post, though there are few of those. It's the combination of the two words, and the meanings of rhyming words that makes this a really curly one!
I have sent in an entry, but I can't say I'm particularly satisfied with it!

PS to Kalleh - I'm of the female persuasion, by the way, and I'm sure I noted that on my profile!

The important point to remember is that the stress is on "Dial" and the rhyme must be stressed the same way.

I have now had several entries, some of them very clever and will probably announce the results on Wednesday or Thursday.

To try to rhyme good lims for Dial Post
A town not too far from the isle coast
Is a job to despair
And I try not to care
But Richard's town choice does me rile most.

quote:

I don't intend to enter, mainly because my attempts at limericks are so poor.

Just remember, arnie, I picked yours as my favorite the last time.

I didn't find "Dial Post" that easy to write a limerick on, but I did try.

toraspanda, I am so sorry! Because we have such a majority of men here, I always assume that new registrants are male.

I'll tell you a little of Dial Post.
It's north of the south British Isles coast.
A village so small
It shows not at all
Just a name on a major road's milepost.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
[QUOTE]

toraspanda, I am so sorry! Because we have such a majority of men here, I always assume that new registrants are male.

Please don't worry, Kalleh! Screen names can be very ambiguous. When prompted to give one here, I just used the same one I use for my e-mail, a combination of my nickname and that of my feline super-champion (the Scottish Fold in my avatar)

Pandora (the cat is Toranaga)

quote:

Surely the important rhyme should be with "post"?

Arnie, the rhyme is taken from the last stressed syllable in the line. A lot of two word phrases are equally stressed but in this case I think we would say “Let’s go to DIAL post” not “Let’s go to dial POST”.


There are some, although likely not most,
Who’d prefer to rhyme thus – Dial Post .
But to rhyme in this way
Isn’t really OK
For the stress has been misdiagnosed.

The local dress code in Dial Post
Has now properly been diagnosed:
The one that is stressed
Is usually dressed
In a white flowing robe, like a ghost.

We’re good, though we don’t like to boast,
We can rhyme any word - well, almost.
On the tack any hack would
Take forward or backward,
We’ll crack this odd name "Dial Post”.

So old Dial Post is merely signed
With no village there of any kind!
If it isn't a place,
Then why should we it grace
With the finest lims you'll likely find?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

Dial Post does exist and had a good boozer. But had I written:

A village so small
It shows hardly at all

Then the scansion would have been out. Having said which, that might have been a better fault than to remove Dial Post from the map.

A village so tiny,
A spot on the heinie
Of Sussex, a name on a milepost.

Had I known that US expression I might have used it.

To show that it really is there,
If you have a few minutes to spare,
See this URL
Which will certainly tell
Of the village of Dial Post's affair.

http://www.dialpost.org.uk/

Right folks, here are the entries in alphabetical order:

From Bethree

Sir Peter Peck hails from Dial Post
This year he is “the” in-style host
He tickles high-steppers
With his pickled peppers
Though he cooks a rather vile roast.

From Bob Hale

There once was a man of Dial Post
Who said , “It’s quite true that while most
Of my colleagues are smart
And work hard, for my part
I must say, in the office, I’ll coast.”

From Kalleh

The city that gets me to smile most
Is England's so beautiful Dial Post.
There's bowling and bingo;
They speak the Brit lingo.
I'm hoping to find a cute aisle host!

From Proofreader

The happy folk living in Dial Post
Enjoy country life (no idle boast).
They may spend countless hours
Cultivating their flowers,
But the screwing is what makes them smile most.

Two from Stella

There was a young farmhand in Dial Post
Who hitched up his horse to a tile-post.
When the horse gave a start
And the tiles fell apart,
He said, “Darn! Must have been the wrong style post.”

A diplomat hailing from Dial Post,
Who was sent to Bombay on a trial post,
Said, “Curry and ghee
With my bowels disagree.
Please extricate me from this vile post.”

And one from our new member, toraspanda

She came from a village called Dial Post,
The woman who knew how to rile most;
They were too scared to roast 'er,
The witch, Molly Coaster,
In case she came back as a vile ghost.

In order, then:

Bethree's is a very workmanlike piece although it took me a couple of readings to get the scansion right. Though I have to say that I wasn't quite sure who Sir Peter Peck is (or was) and what he has to do with roast dinners...

I was very taken with Bob's submission and the clever way in which his rhymes could easily be read for prose were they to be written as such. A very clever trick worthy of that Episcopal vicar in want of that portable secondhand font. But I was unclear as to why there would be such a collection of office workers in that sleepy hamlet...

Kalleh had taken the trouble to check out Dial Post and incorporated some of the village activities into her limerick, which impressed me greatly. I have to say, though, that I have no idea what an aisle host is - unless it's one of those girls who used to come round with ice-cream during the intervals between films in our local flea-pit.

Proofreader's excellently smutty offering appealed to me a great deal for its earthy accuracy; he has obviously taken the trouble to research what it is we get up to in these parts - but I shuddered at the excruciating rhyme and scansion of L2.

Both of Stella's submissions were technically brilliant, save for a slight problem with an extra US in L2 of her Bombay offering. But again I wonder about the subject accuracy - we don't have too many diplomats in this part of the world and the cowboy count is a definite zero.


Toraspanda's first entry into this competition was also a brave attempt with some interesting rhymes - although if there was a witch called Molly Coaster who lived in Dial Post her name is unknown to me!

After much consideration, notwithstanding the attractions of Proofreader's excellent suggestion for our energetic bucolic entertainment, for her research into Dial Post and for the overall workmanship of her limerick, I award the prize to Kalleh (I still wish I knew what an aisle host is, though!)

I submitted one early, but it must have got lost in the shuffle.

I think it went something like this:


The public phone out in Dial Post
Was conveniently hung on a mile post.
It's on A24
But it ain't there no more:
There's nothing there now but a vile ghost.

Ao=pologies, Jerry. I did get yours and overlooked it when I summarised.

A good submission with some clever rhymes. If I have a criticism it's the scansion of L2 that has an extra US.

But well done - and keep at it.

Funny how that L2 looked OK to me until you pointed ut the error, RE.

Here's a better one

'There’s a Taco Bell open in Dial Post
And its sustenance makes people smile most
But the spicy food’s parts
Lead to bone-crushing farts
Whose odors can clear a ten-mile coast.

I normally never argue with the judge but it wasn’t a cowboy, it was a farmhand.

Well done, Kalleh!

Aw, thanks, Richard. You made my day, and that was after my day was made yesterday with the inauguration! Life is good.

Often I don't get the obscure limericks on OEDILF, and everyone else does. Yet when I write one, nobody seems to get it. An aisle host? A groom who walks her down the aisle? Oh well...at least I won!

Mine won't be that easy, though Shu has given me some examples so I know it's doable. I am starting a new thread with the venue being "Limerick." Start thinking, you talented limericists!

quote:

I normally never argue with the judge but it wasn’t a cowboy, it was a farmhand.

Apologies - but horse-bourne farmhands are also pretty rare - they all roar around in massive tractors in this part of the world.

The horse types are all pretty upper crust, tailored jodphurs and hand-made coats - not the kind you'd expect to use a hitching post.

But it was a good limerick - the choice wasn't easy.