Well, it has been a long time hasn't it. Sorry for that but circumstances haven't been (and still aren't) ideal.

Still, here's the list of Hong Kong limericks. There were only four of them anyway.

1. When all that can go wrong has gone wrong
In China, they'll send you to Hong Kong
To renew your visa
But that's just a teaser,
Their real aim's to give you your swansong.

2. I wanted to make the big gong dong
On top of a church there in Hong Kong.
I climbed to the top,
But then I went plop -
This limerick will serve as my swan song.

3. A Caucasian pair up in Hong Kong
Birthed a boy. He said, "Something is wrong.
While the boy's a delight,
He seems yellow first sight.
And two whites simply don't make a Wong."

4. There once was a gentleman from Hong Kong
Who had, it’s reputed, a quite long dong
On becoming a Buddhist monk
He’d endeavor to hide his junk
At calls to prayer signaled by the gong-bong

Question:
Choose your favourite.

Choices:
1
2
3
4

 

Two whites don't make a Wong

Haha I got to remember that

There were so many in the thread - what happened? When else have we only had four? Too bad.

Didn't Geoff withdraw his entry/entries? That accounts for at least one missing.

At the moment we have a four way tie with only four choices

Sorry to be Mr Grumpy-Pants, but how does Limerick 4 get a vote when it is not a limerick. Lines 1, 2 & 5 should have 8 or 9 syllables at most, but each one has 10. I could live that if it wasn't for the fact that each of Lines 3 & 4, which should have 5 or 6 syllables at most, has 8 which makes it impossible to read this in any way, shape or form to make it sound like a limerick. The rhythm is actually just as important as the rhymes for a limerick, but rhymes that serve no other purpose than to meet the technical requirement of having one, like "junk" just don't cut the mustard.

Even without looking for a better Line 4 rhyme, it could easily have been turned into a real limerick with just a little bit of work:

There once was a fellow from Hong Kong
Who had, it’s reputed, a long dong
On becoming a monk
He could not hide his junk
At prayer-calls signalled by the gong-bong.

I hope I haven't offended anyone. I know this isn't OEDILF, but if nobody tells the author and its voter what a limerick actually is, how will they know, for future games.

Sorry, Greg, but your L5 doesn't scan.

At his prayers, punctuated by gong bong

Is one possible fix.

As to someone voting for the original, to each his own. There's no accounting for taste and if everyone liked the same things, there would be no contest.

All of these - in all the threads - could benefit from workshopping. The "perfect" ones are over there on OEDILF. Wordcraft? We have fun with these. Sometimes I select one that's just damn funny - or has fun rhymes - or just scans so smoothly (this happens very rarely here, for me). But because we are trying to have fun and often write these quickly without 10 people critically analyzing each letter, it is likely none of ours would be winners in the Washington Post's Style Invitational. So what? That's not our style here - we are trying to have fun.

And I so wish Geoff would return. Heck, rules are to be broken anyway.

There is currently a leader so this is the last call for votes

To be honest, while I see what you mean Greg, I can read the fourth limerick in such a way that it scans. It is maybe less traditional, and maybe sometimes you have to stress odd syllables, but I think it more or less works like this:

There once was a gentleman from Hong Kong
Who had, it’s reputed, a quite long dong
On becoming a Buddhist monk
He’d endeavor to hide his junk
At calls to prayer signaled by the gong-bong

The thing with limericks is that they're more about the stressed parts than all the syllables together, I think. While many are traditionally

A B C D E F G H

you can also add in, for example, an extra unstressed syllable on the end, or one at the beginning, or both:

A B C D E F G H I
A B C D E F G H I
A B C D E F G H I J

In some places there are more than two unstressed syllables between the stressed ones (especailly in lines 3 and 4) and I think that's more of the problem, although since English is a (largely) stress-timed language you can get away with it if you say it quickly enough for it to fit in the rhythm.

I know what you mean, maybe overall it's not the best limerick scansion-wise, but I don't think it's dreadful and, as Kalleh says, it's good enough for a bit of fun!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Stanley,

quote:

it's good enough for a bit of fun!

Exactly. I stopped contributing to OEDILF early on because of the deadly serious way people conducted workshops.

I dropped out of OEDILF recently because they insisted I cap words which I intentionally did not want capped. They claimed the author had final say on limericks but that is no longer the case there.

For whatever it's worth, I had never written a limerick or any poetry until I came to this site. I appreciate constructive criticism. I struggled with the syllables in limerick no. 4, but I liked that lines 1,2, & 5 rhymed both Hong and Kong in the last two words. I don't think any others did that (except one with "swan song" came close). I didn't vote for no. 4, however. Number 3 made me laugh.

I more often go for the best joke that seems to work. I think a limerick is a joke that has a rhyming pattern. The best mixture of both qualities is good, but humor seems more subjective. Some people might just put more weight on the humor than on the pattern.

(reworking no. 4 so that it ended with "long-dong-gong-bong" in the last line would have been great)

quote:

For whatever it's worth, I had never written a limerick or any poetry until I came to this site.

I had written a few limericks prior to arriving here and thought I had the game in the bag. Several weeks ago, I went back to the beginning of the game and counted all the submissions. While doing this, I had the opportunity to read the submissions which at the time I thought were gems, but now realize were poorly-written. Since then I've posted 1100 at OEDILF, written several hundred more during workshops there, and have many hundred here. And I find I am still learning and still making mistakes which are painfully obvious to others and invisible to my "trained" eye. I don't mind being told my deficiencies since finding my errors will make the next much better, or so I'm told.

quote:

I stopped contributing to OEDILF early on because of the deadly serious way people conducted workshops.

Me too.

1100, Proof? Wow! I'd pull a limerick that they insisted should be one way, and I wanted another way.

look...someone's ahead. time to call a winner?

Proofreader, that sucks. Your limericks seem flawless to a greenhorn like me. But then, I probably don't have the experience to make that judgement. And Kalleh, it seemed like you always commented on how great OEDILF was, that must be disappointing that they have gone the direction to push you two away. (For me, I just kept changing mine until they finally quit. But that was a real workshop for me and my only entry, and I learned from it.)

So number 3 is the winner and number 3 was proofreader.

Others were provided by bethree5 (number 4), Greg S (1) and Kalleh (2)

OK Greg thanks for the work-shopping. This is a bit better, tho' I don't know whether non-yoga people make sense of 'in lotus':

There once was a young man from Hong Kong
Who had, it was said. quite a long dong
When he became a monk
He learned to hide his junk
In lotus, when he heard the gong bong

I think I Would say it this way:

quote:

There once was a man from Hong Kong
Who had, it was said. a long dong
On becoming a monk
He would hide jutting junk
In lotus, on hearing the gong bong

Other thoughts may vary.

I am contemplating a new limerick site, to be announced shortly.

like the alliteration in l4
also on hearing smoother

Since we're all workshopping your limerick B35, here's my suggestion:

A Buddhist who hailed from Hong Kong
Had hidden that he had a long dong,
But his secret was sunk
On becoming a monk
In lotus, on hearing the gong bong.

quote:

I am contemplating a new limerick site, to be announced shortly.

Count me in!