Here they are:
My adoring imploring in Boring
And endearing, impassioned outpouring
Was quite over the top
And she asked me to stop
The result was my failure in scoring.
A man who was bored in Boring
Thought he would send a kite soaring
Made of papier-mâché
First, the sky turned dark gray
Then rain, of course, began pouring.
(In America, the first part of papier-mâché is usually pronounced as paper.)
(How OZ was conceived in an alternative universe)
Writer’s block while visiting Boring,
L. Frank Baum, a balloon he sent soaring
Made of papier-mâché
“Will it float far away?”
Shrieks! “It’s melting!” as rain began pouring!
My boyfriend who lives out in Boring
Is loving and oh so adoring!
But something's amiss...
In bed when we kiss,
He soon falls asleep and is snoring!
A girl who grew up in Boring
Read books by Emilie Loring
While her classmates smoked pot
Tender romance she sought
Years later, jaded, she’s whoring
In Oregon with the aim of exploring
And if lucky perhaps even scoring -
Down the Drain, got abused,
In Riddle, confused,
But the babes here are so bloody Boring.
The greatest thing about Boring
Is a law prohibiting snoring
The militia won’t come
Or hack off your thumb
A doctor will do some exploring
I read this ad about Boring,
“We don’t care if you’re caught snoring!
Take plenty of naps
You’ll purr like your cats!
Come here to recoup after touring!”
I woke up one morning in Boring
The rain outside was just pouring
So I went back to bed
And I covered my head
And soon I was peacefully snoring
There once was an old man from Boring
Whose favorite pastime was snoring
But once in a while
He woke with a smile
And went out on the town to go whoring
There was a young lady from Boring
Who set my young foolish hopes soaring
But it wasn’t to be
‘Cause she couldn’t see
The love from my heart that was pouring
There was an old couple from Boring
Who seemed to be constantly warring
They had a good fight
Every Saturday night
But the look in their eyes was adoring
I’ve spent so much time in exploring
The mountains and valleys near Boring
Life's always so grand
Not once dull or bland
Where the great Sandy River is roaring
For fun the girls had to go whoring,
And endure Mrs. Grundy's deploring
While the men worked at drilling
(That's no more fulfilling)
It's certain my hometown was BORING.
Ecologists gathered in Boring
Upsetting a bull who went roaring
Chasing Rachel* and Paul*
Also Aldo* et al.
But was only intent on Al Goreing
*Rachel Carson, Paul Ehrlich, Aldo Leopold
If I missed anyone, PM me. I don't do well when I have to take off my shoes to count.
Oh, you were right, Geoff! This is going to be a stiff competition!
"Stiff" because of all the whoring?
I should have known your mind would go in that direction, Geoff!!!