OK, let's get this show on the road. Sorry for the delay.

Here are the limericks submitted.

1.
When Min took a ride after dinner
On The Wheel at the fairground in Pinner,
There was nowhere to hide
For the folks alongside,
Who all knew, when she spewed, what was in ‘er.

2.
There once was a creep from Pinner,
Who was skilled as a secretive sinner.
So sly, elementary,
And careful his entry,
No girl could detect him in her.

3.
Said the priest, "Now just who is the sinner
Who left my old bike down in Pinner?
Disregard the suggestion --
It's out of the question --
That I spent the night with Miss Skinner."

4.
There aren't many chinkies in Pinner
Indeed not many places for dinner.
So fly like an arrow
To a restaurant in Harrow
Or you'll simply get thinner and thinner.

5.
A couple in beautiful Pinner
Decided to copulate in a
Confessional booth;
Though awfully uncouth,
'Twas easy to lecture the sinner!

6.
A penniless punter from Pinner
Was pumped when he scored on a skinner.
He'd no longer be broke -
But alas then he woke
To discover he wasn't a winner!

In punting parlance a "skinner" is a horse at such long-odds, that the bookies virtually wrote no winning tickets and therefore "skinned" all the punters of their money.

7.
Said a fisherman, living in Pinner,
“I have here a huge carp. I’m a winner.”
But the judge exclaimed, “Stop!
You have not caught a carp.
From its size, I would say it’s a minner.”

8.
There’s a young lady living in Pinner
Who lets all the menfolk get inner.
But she simply won’t fuck
That one self-absorbed schmuck
Who’s too full of himself -- that guy, Skinner.

9.
Said the nervous young fellow from Pinner
To the harlot, "I'm just a beginner!"
Said she, "Now don't worry,
There's really no hurry..."
But he finished before he was in her.

10.
"I would like, please, to take you to dinner"
Said the ugly and old guy from Pinner.
"Of course it's quite true
That I'm older than you,
But I'm also a lottery winner.

11.
A serious slimmer from Pinner
Was thin, but had thoughts of being thinner.
She developed a drink
She calls "Shit-till-you-shrink"
And she eats it for breakfast and dinner.

12.
In pursuit of a beauty from Pinner
Kevin cooked 'er a curry to win 'er
But when serving the food
He observed she was nude
And they quickly forgot about dinner.

Question:
Get your vote in now.

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

 

Wow, you got a lot! There are some nice ones.

I chose something easy to rhyme.

Only five votes so far!

I'm a patient man. I can wait.

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

Around the world millions of people have no voice.
You do!

Let's see democracy in action.

Vote for your favourite Pinner Limerick Now!

(Or I may have to put the Robert Mugabe counting technique into action.)

I have already voted. Unfortunately, will the facility for submitting multiple limericks, there are always likely to be more entries than there are votes.

For some odd reason, I think people feel they shouldn't vote if they didn't submit a limerick. Of course, that is balderdash.

Maybe there's a few, even amongst the competitors who don't vote when they like their own limerick best. If it was compulsory voting, like we have in Australia (we have have just had a general election resulting in a hung parliament, and a few independents are trying to cut deals with the 2 major parties to allow one of them to form a government), and I stuck to my convention of not voting for myself, I would be voting for the one that is already a clear leader.

Maybe there needs to be another thread that is more obvious, whichb simply exhorts members to vote and gives a link to the voting page.

Those who are not interested in submitting a limerick or otherwise being involved with the competition might simply not bother to look at the limerick thread. I myself don't get involved with certain threads on this (and other boards) and I tend not even to bother to open those threads that I believe are of no interest to me.

Just wondering how much more obvious a thread could be than one entitled "Pinner: Voting".

I was thinking of something that would appear on the home page, rather than on one of the sub-threads.

I'm back at work on Wednesday so this vote will close tomorrow, and I will also cast my own vote then.

Democracy is, it seems, if not dead, then at least ailing.

Twelve limericks and five votes does seem a little lop-sided - unless the rest are all posting 2 or 3 limericks each. I wouldn't be too discouraged, though. If the competition is only interesting to the few who take part in it, then so be it. I posted one limerick and cast one vote - that's on the high end of my involvement here at present and I can't actually see myself upping it in the near future. It's just the way life is at the moment.

I posted a request in Community. We'll see if that works. I know a few people here don't like limericks at all...they don't like to read or write them. They probably won't vote.

How about if we again invite OEDILF contributors to get involved?

PINNER WINNER

Here then are the rider and runners. There was a good turn out for the competition if a rather poorer turnout for the actual poll. Some of the limericks suffered from weak stresses and there was, of course, a plethora of "in her" gags. Indeed the winner was one of them, one of Richard's fine collection of entries. Multiple entries often split your vote and so it was here with another of Richard's getting one of the final two votes. The final vote went to stella.

When Min took a ride after dinner
On The Wheel at the fairground in Pinner,
There was nowhere to hide
For the folks alongside,
Who all knew, when she spewed, what was in ‘er.

(stella)

There once was a creep from Pinner,
Who was skilled as a secretive sinner.
So sly, elementary,
And careful his entry,
No girl could detect him in her.

(arnie)

Said the priest, "Now just who is the sinner
Who left my old bike down in Pinner?
Disregard the suggestion --
It's out of the question --
That I spent the night with Miss Skinner."

There aren't many chinkies in Pinner
Indeed not many places for dinner.
So fly like an arrow
To a restaurant in Harrow
Or you'll simply get thinner and thinner.

(Richard)

A couple in beautiful Pinner
Decided to copulate in a
Confessional booth;
Though awfully uncouth,
'Twas easy to lecture the sinner!

(Kalleh)

A penniless punter from Pinner
Was pumped when he scored on a skinner.
He'd no longer be broke -
But alas then he woke
To discover he wasn't a winner!

In punting parlance a "skinner" is a horse at such long-odds, that the bookies virtually wrote no winning tickets and therefore "skinned" all the punters of their money.

(Greg S)

Said a fisherman, living in Pinner,
“I have here a huge carp. I’m a winner.”
But the judge exclaimed, “Stop!
You have not caught a carp.
From its size, I would say it’s a minner.”

There’s a young lady living in Pinner
Who lets all the menfolk get inner.
But she simply won’t fuck
That one self-absorbed schmuck
Who’s too full of himself -- that guy, Skinner.

(Proofreader)

Said the nervous young fellow from Pinner
To the harlot, "I'm just a beginner!"
Said she, "Now don't worry,
There's really no hurry..."
But he finished before he was in her.

"I would like, please, to take you to dinner"
Said the ugly and old guy from Pinner.
"Of course it's quite true
That I'm older than you,
But I'm also a lottery winner.

(Richard again)

A serious slimmer from Pinner
Was thin, but had thoughts of being thinner.
She developed a drink
She calls "Shit-till-you-shrink"
And she eats it for breakfast and dinner.

In pursuit of a beauty from Pinner
Kevin cooked 'er a curry to win 'er
But when serving the food
He observed she was nude
And they quickly forgot about dinner.

(Mike)

Thank you, folks. Without doubt one of the best collections I have ever seen.

So I will choose, for my next town, the little Sussex village of Upper Dicker. I will set up another thread.

Nice one, Richard. I did have high hopes for mine, but I had a lot of competition!