In response to a fair torrent of pleas for another limerick game , let’s rhyme the hitherto unheralded town of Rata (RAH-tuh).

Rata is of no particular interest except that it is the name of native trees of the genus Metrosideros, also known as NZ Christmas trees. They bloom bright red from Nov to Jan and are as iconic to Kiwi summers as the beach bach and the barbecued sausage.

NB: bach (batch) = small holiday house or shack

Jeb Rawltar was quite a good catch
And the women would flock to his bach
To cook him a meal
To give him a feel
And to make sure that all his socks match.

Jeb really loved Rata.

And I've just sent one of his adventures to you.

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It's also how one says "rat" in Russian.
Though I've not a single guess how it's said in Prussian.
It's lousy rhyme, but that's no crime,
"cause I'm not in this discussion.

'Tis something to follow a star; 'tis
The mission of heroes and martyrs.
So is it the season,
Or some other reason,
Three Kings have presented their Ratas?

Limericks received from Stanley, Jerry and proof.

Any other wise men or women following the star?

Not until I get back from my (delayed) cruise.

JEB RAWLTAR'S CHRISTMAS EVE

Christmas Eve is the night that it was
And the holiday had Jeb abuzz.
As he climbed into bed,
To his dear wife, he said
“I love Xmas, yes, I really does.”

Now his kids were asleep, so it seems,
And sugar plums danced in their dreams.
Since they knew at the dawn
They would find in the morn
Gifts that would elicit their screams.

But at midnight the roof seemed to sway
From the weight of a much-burdened sleigh.
Jeb threw back his cover
Just in time to discover
That someone was well on the way.

Down the chimney. A crimson guy flew
To the tree where he left one or two
Presents for the Rawltars --
Handmade blouses and halters
And a general’s red coat (almost new).

Then the merry old man touched his nose
With a wink up the chimney he rose.
And Jeb said, “Well, good grief!
I thought that was a thief
But a thief doesn’t leave stuff, I knows.”

Past the moon in the window, so bright,
Jeb heard as the sleigh flew from sight:
“I am making this calltar
The good family Rawltar --
Merry Christmas to all and good night.!”

Did this all really happen? Mayhap.
Next day Jeb put on winter wrap.
As well as he’s able
He climbed to the gable
To clean piles of ice-cold reindeer crap.

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Bob Hale, who is known as a smartie,
Once hosted a very small party.
He paired off with a girl
Who was out of this world,
And they put up a sign: "Hale & Hearty."

Thanks, proof and Jerry, for your extraneous lims. The General’s Christmas Night is fabulous as always, proof, and though Bob’s been quiet about it, I bet he’s really chuffed with the one you wrote for him and Hearty, Jerry.

... a fourth King fresh off a cruise ship has unexpectedly turned up bearing gifts. I’ll post the winner today.

While Richard was cruising (delayed),
Drinking beer by the pool in the shade,
And snoozing in deckchairs,
He had a thought, “Heck! Where’s
That damn limerick game being played.”

OK, sorry that this has dragged on a bit. Here are the entries for Rata...


Richard

There are many strange things about Rata
And here's one I've found for a starter.
I believe it exists
Yet Google insists
It does not - so I'll need to be smarter.

This is a very nice limerick, Richard. I thought the theme was clever and technically it’s excellent. Possibly you could have done with a comma end of L3 since you skip a syl start of L4, but that’s extremely picky I know.

You're absolutely spot on about trying to Google the place – there’s nothing to be found. Not surprising since even though I must have driven either through it or past it a hundred times I haven’t a single lasting memory of it. Of course, I’ll take more notice after this.

Anyway, to prove that it does exist Rata



Jerry

NZ's Christmas tree is the Rata.
We're busy processing these data,
In a bach on the beach
Where the possum can't reach
For the possum's persona non grata.

This is a lovely limerick, Jerry, and cleverly introduces the possum which, when introduced from Australia, became our most terrible pest - now there are 70 million of them happily chomping their way through the vegetation. Finally, someone has found a use for them and turns them into very warm, expensive knitwear. Another plus was the link to the Rata trees which I should have done in my intro. Thanks.

If I have one quibble then it’s the mispronunciation of “processing” and I hope I’m not doing you a disservice, if in fact that is the way you pronounce it, but I checked MW for the US PG and find it also stresses the first syl.



Proofreader

The Christmas trees grown around Rata
Aren’t green but a shade of red, sata.
I know you may think
Christmas trees look weird pink
But NZs think it’s fine, so you ata.

A midget who married in Rata
Found he was cuckolded. (He cata.)
But he stayed hap’ly wed
Because, as he said:
“I’m not tall, and she’s three inches shata.”

Jeb Rawltars’ battalion in Rata
Was boldly besieged, without quata
But the besiegers broke
Blown away just like smoke
By the brackish brew NZs call wata.

A horny hot harlot in Rata
Knew tricks that would make men aplata
She had learned all the tricks
Men liked done to their . . . . sticks
And she ata cause it’s me that tata.

These are delightful limericks full of imagery and unexpected twists, proof, which stretch our personal rhyming elastic to it’s very limit. However, I found it hard to believe that “orter” rhymes with Rata for you – it sounds rather BBC, maybe the Queen might get away with it “I say, let’s storp orf for tea and scones in Rorter”. Not that she’d have much joy.

The second thing I could point out (Kiwi 101.1) is that while the country NZ is pronounced Enzed, the people are not Enzeds. Maybe Enzeders at a pinch. Neat limericks though, despite those couple of things.



Stanley

On a tour of NZ, a good starter
Is the wondrous town known as Rata.
So detailed its past,
So complex and vast,
On "Time Team" it’s worth an eight-parter.


Finally this lovely limerick from Stanley which I’m calling THE WINNER!!

It’s technically v good and though also syls short - L3,4 & 5 - in this case I think it’s balanced and works fine, especially with the commas to create the pause. And although Time Team probably wouldn’t be that interested in Rata, Stanley, it’s nice of you to think they might. For US ears we stress detailed exactly this way too - DEEtail. Well done!


Up to you, Stanley, to pick another place and whether you want to wait till after Christmas or not.

Every one of those rhymes I used will sound exactly the same hereabouts.

The big problem is I, for some reason, I saw your PG "Rah-ta" as "Raw-ta." I didn't realize it till I was trying to figure out how Stanley rhymed "starter" and "parter" with the town's name, and arechecked the start of the thread. Next time, I'll use my binoculars instead of reading glasses.

I have proposed to Liz (The Queen, to you) that the town's name be changed to Rorta and she said, "If it shall lead to your success at the limerick game, we orta."

BTW, if Rata has made so small an impression on you, why should we take your word that that his how it is pronounced? Shouldn't we ask a Ratartarian?

NZ's Christmas tree is the Rata.
We're busy digesting these data,
In a bach on the beach
Where the possum can't reach
For the possum's persona non grata.

Ooh, crumbs, I won! I think I'll do one before Christmas since there's still a week to go; I'll choose a place today and try to remind myself to pick a winner on Christmas Eve.