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Picture of stella
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Here are the limericks on Cust:


Limerick A:

There once was a woman of Cust
Who had a remarkable bust
Her boyfriend said, "What
Is this thing you have got?"
"It's Mozart," she answered, nonplussed.



Limerick B:

When asked why the destiny Cust,
The pioneer spat and he cussed,
'Od's bod, yer a fool
'n ya nae kin the jewel
Of the Alps-- it's Cust or bust!



Limerick C:

A hooker who worked down in Cust
Had punters who really weren't fussed
By the state of her face
(Which was just a disgrace)-
They liked her magnificent bust.



Limerick D:

The tipmen were striking in Cust
And the litter piled up in the dust.
But, as best I determine,
Seems like all of the vermin
Had turned up their nose in disgust.



Limerick E:

Our Stella has said that we must
Rhyme the village near mountains, called Cust:
With hotels and some shops,
A museum that’s tops…
I just am nonplussed with their lust!



Limerick F:

A shepherdess lately of Cust
To Eyre fled, escaping the lust-
iness of one shepherd
which placed into jeopard-
y all of the lambs in her trust



Limerick G:

There was a young fellow of Cust
Whose hat was blown off by a gust
Of wind in a storm
Though his head remained warm
The silly young fellow of Cust



Limerick H:

I suppose if I must, then I must
Write a limerick featuring Cust.
But there's so little here --
Not even good beer --
That soon you'll not see me for dust.



Limerick I:

A new mother with babe born in Cust
Clutched her scarlet-skinned kid to her bust.
Seems the kid’s shiftless dad,
When he came, found he had
Inner workings encumbered with rust.



Limerick J:

A randy young fellow from Cust
Was slaking his notable lust.
He said, "Quickly Jill!
Are you still on the pill?
Since for me it's now lust, thrust and trust!"



Limerick K:

There's a cheese made from sheep's milk from Cust
That is aged till it's layered in must
Many Kiwis displaced
Hanker after a taste
Of that sharp slimy curd called "Old Fust"



Limerick L:

There was a young lady from Cust
Who aroused in the fellows much lust.
Though it wasn't her face
That quickened their pace
But the size of her well-exposed bust.

Question:
Please vote for the one you prefer.

Choices:
Limerick A
Limerick B
Limerick C
Limerick D
Limerick E
Limerick F
Limerick G
Limerick H
Limerick I
Limerick J
Limerick K
Limerick L

 
 
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I assume we don't vote for our own...


Richard English
 
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No-one will ever know .... Wink
 
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quote:
No-one will ever know .... Wink

Nevertheless I didn't. I never vote for my own speeches, either (which might be why I never win!)


Richard English
 
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Richard, we had this discussion previously, and I don't think many of us vote for our own limericks, so you are not alone.
 
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I was confused about the voting and results again! The limericks FOLLOW their reference whereas the results PRECEDE their reference.


Richard English
 
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Agreed. The reporting of the polls is counterintuitive.
 
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I agree but I don't suppose we can rearrange the poll format.

I've been hoping for a few more votes - are there really only 7 people in the whole wide world interested in this great little collection?

I'll give it till the end of today then let you in on the identity of the winner/s - anyone want to hazard a guess at who might be tying for first at this point?
 
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quote:
anyone want to hazard a guess at who might be tying for first at this point?

Of course, 14% of those who are involved will already know, since he or she wrote the winning work.


Richard English
 
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No-one game to guess, huh?

Limerick C & Limerick L were equal winners with two votes each.

Happily they were both written by the same person so no need to share the honours.

And the winning author is ... RICHARD! Smile
 
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Who wrote the others?


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Thank you, everyone - and I didn't even vote for myself!

So, on the assumption that you want me to suggest the next town, I will plump for that famous seaside resort, whose hotel registers contain the largest numbers of "Mr and Mrs Smiths" in the world, Brighton. As is usual with English place-names, the stress is on the first syllable and the second syllable is a schwa.

Marks will be awarded for rhyme and scansion as usual, but a higher than usual allocation will be made to those limericks that properly reflect Brighton's reputation as a destination where married couples spend weekends (married, of course, but not to each other).

I will be on holiday from 06 December so, either I will judge the submissions on 05 December, if there are enough, or the judging will have to take place when I return on the 19th.

Of course, if someone else would prefer to take this one on, then I will be happy to pass over the mantle.


Richard English
 
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quote:
I will be on holiday from 06 December so, either I will judge the submissions on 05 December, if there are enough, or the judging will have to take place when I return on the 19th.

So, you're reverting to the old system, then, Richard?

Another way forward would be to post the entries on 5 December as a poll, then reveal who is the winner of the poll on your return ...


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
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Well, whatever judging system I adopt, I can do nothing after 05 December (unless there's internet access on my ship). And since it's getting the limericks in that takes the time, I doubt that I'll be ready to have them judged, whether I do the job or whether we use a poll.

Let's see how we go and I'll make a decision on the 5th.


Richard English
 
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Who wrote the others?

STELLA!!!!!


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Give the girl a chance - it's the middle of the night in New Zealand!


Richard English
 
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You can't fool me. Daylight Saving Time ended last month.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Congrats, Richard. If I recall, I voted for yours.

I think what Proof was saying was that when Stella reported you the winner, Richard, she might have outed the losers. Mine was E. My plan was to have lots of "Cust" rhymes because it's fairly easy...and I loved the idea of using nonplussed. However, all good intentions don't work; I am reminded of this quote:
quote:
“The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.”
Among other things, "they" just didn't make sense since I hadn't been talking of people. Oh well.

Richard, I'd suggest sticking with the poll idea for the game, at least for awhile.
 
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I was D and I


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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quote:
Richard, I'd suggest sticking with the poll idea for the game, at least for awhile.

As I wrote, the problem will probably be getting sufficient entries by the time I leave. If there are enough, then I can judge them before I leave; if there aren't, then the judging, be it mine or be it by a poll, will not happen until I get back.

Which is why I wrote that I would wait a while.


Richard English
 
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Most people have outed themselves - here's the full list:

A. Bob
B. bethree
C. Richard
D. proof
E. Kalleh
F. bethree
G. Bob
H. Richard
I. proof
J. Richard
K. bethree
L. Richard
 
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A I guessed was Bob's (and I thought it was splendid); G I thought was Edward Lear.


Richard English
 
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Stella! Stella!

I feel just like Marlon Brando. No, not dead.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Richard, how's about a new thread for Brighton? You have mine now. By the by, Brighton has a whole other meaning to me; you'll see by my limerick.

Proof, for the record, I haven't gotten one lousy vote in this new polling game, and, still, I haven't complained, have I? Do I get a medal or a monument? Wink
 
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quote:
and, still, I haven't complained, have I?

Does that count? I hereby offer you one "Attagirl".


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Nope, it doesn't count. I just couldn't hold it in any more. Big Grin
 
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For the record, I was kidding. Remember, in this game at least I didn't much like my limerick and wouldn't have voted for it.

But, heck, being Jewish, I have to kvetch every so often or life isn't fun. Wink
 
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