28 July 2008 is the deadline for submitting your limericks in which the key word is CANNES.

I made a couple of errors in trying to get this new thread started.

CANNES rhymes with an, ban, bran, can, Dan, flan, man, Nan, pan, plan, ran, span, Stan, tan, than. van, and lots of other words.

Oh what a tangled thread we spin when first we're trying to begin....

Forget Antofagasta. That was a gross error.

My paltry little one is in your box.

For me, the most difficult part of being a teacher was grading. I fear that I've not done an adequate job as Chairman of the Cannes Limerick Committee, and I don't intend to grade the submitted Limericks.

Here is what I have collected.

LIMERICK CONTEST DEADLINE 28 JULY 2008


A worthy contribution from Valentine:


quote:
Posted July 27, 2008 09:07
A tourist who hailed from France, Cannes
Was amazed by les pommes in Spokane
His guide explained, "Man,
We eat what we can,
And what we can't eat, we can."



quote:
A tourist who hailed from France, Cannes
Was amazed by les pommes in Spokane
"We eat," his guide stated
"What we can, but when sated
"Then what we can't eat, we can."



Richard English

Nymphomaniacal Anne
Picked up a nice hunk, down in Cannes.
Her shock was profound
When she stripped him and found
A lesbian butch called Suzanne


Kalleh

There once was a Wordcrafter, Nan
Whose lim'ricks her friends would all pan.
"They're awful" they'd say,
"What a paltry display!"
She finally escaped to French Cannes



Proofreader

There once was a cutey from Cannes
Who told a young mannes of her plannes
If he went to the banc
She’d screw for a franc
Or else he could get off by hannes


Can you do the cancan in Cannes?
Of course. There’s no reason to ban
The dance erotique
That lets gentlemen pique
At where ladies can’t get a suntan

On the beach on La Croissette in Cannes
The film starlets litter the sannes
Where the nouveau-riche
Ogle girls at the beach
And conjure their nefarious plannes


jerry thomas

A gardener living in Cannes
Wants to share his elaborate plan:
Decorating the ghettos
With palms and palmettos
With much charismatic élan.

I feel a strong need to ask for a volunteer to do the next round.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

My vote for the best limerick goes to jerry's one. That would mean that he would have to think of another place name and run the next competition... They say practice makes perfect.

I'll take credit (or discredit) for the anonymous limerick.
Richard's haS MY VOTE.

I submitted one - and then a revision in case a 5 line common rhyme would not qualify.

The inspiration for those was the joke, intended to demonstrate that the Brits have no sense of humour:

A Pommie, when touring the apple orchards in Washington, was astounded at the number of apples being harvested.

"What on earth do you do with all of those apples," he asked.

His guide said, "We eat what we can, and what we can't eat, we can."

The Brit, once home, was asked by friends what he thought of the US. He responded that he found it to be a very nice country, but that the people had a very odd sense of humour.

When asked to explain, he described his visit to the apple orchard, concluding with: And my guide said, "We eat many of them, and we put the rest in tins." The tourist explained that his guide thought that was extremely funny, but that he didn't see the humour in it at all.

Nope. Jerry has to decide.

Come on, Jer! We won't be hurt. Which one do you prefer? That's all this is; an individual preference. This isn't CJ's old grading of limericks.

Okay ... when forced to make a selection .. my choice is Proofreader's Cannes can-can one.

Congratulations, Proofreader

Now it's your turn.


~~~ jerry

You're up, Proofreader!

Thank you, Jerry. A victory for quantity over quality!

I’d like to make certain this next contest is vested in the finest tradition of limerick-making. Therefore, any contribution which displays the slightest suggestion of learning, erudition, scholarship, education, travel knowledge, or good taste will suffer the dreaded red pencil of expurgation.

Oh, sorry! My wife just said this would limit it to only my own contributions. So ignore that last statement. Existing rules apply.

Within my local area, there are three towns which might make a good choice: Pawtucket, Pawtuxet, and Pawcatuck. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any rhymes to go with those names that didn’t have the stigma of impropriety. And if I am anything, it is highly proper.

So, in a new thread, you’ll find the site I have chosen, the most exotic, quixotic and erotic:

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

New thread started