I guess I should be flattered that I won a contest the first time I entered. Or maybe it's mere encouragement.
I received a PM encouraging me (as a Wordcraft newbie) to submit a "Highland Park limerick". So without the benefit of the original post, I visited their homepage and found -- what else? -- the pothole story pigeonholed right up on top. I couldn't resist.

Anyway, the new contest: PM me your entries for "Miami". (No, I didn't say the "news contest". That would Herald something else again.) I'm sure Kalleh will tell me how long I wait to collect responses before posting a winner.

We usually just wait until we get a few, Bob.

This is a newbie, Wordcrafters, so let's show him what we've got! Send him lots!

Mine will arrive tonight...I am busy with reports now (though not at this very minute, I suppose. )

Oh Kalleh! You clearly haven't read the intense debate over at OEDILF about whether or not the term "newbie" is insulting. Though of course as he used it first...

Nice to have you here Bob and congratulations on winning first time out. Next you get the harder task of choosing the next winner. I'll have a couple of limericks over to you tomorrow.

Yeah, I've missed that conversation, though I've seen it on other forums (fora?). When people get so uptight about something so small (and that's the case with the other forum discussions I've seen), I become confused. Don't they have something better to worry about? I mean, the economy, for example, could really create a debate worth something!

I rather like the name newbie, but I guess with 12,000 posts I'm beyond that.

Hi, Bob! It's great to see you over here. I'm glad you've decloaked, because I didn't guess the true identity of Lisztman.

I'll send you one soon.

Wordmatic

Writers of Miami Limericks need to know ... Is the pronunciation taken for granted to rhyme with Miami, Florida, or what ?

I'm so well acquainted with the dialect of the city of Miami, Oklahoma that I have to ask. There, the word's first syllable is /m + schwa/ and the rest of the word rhyming precisely with "Alabama."

In Oklahoma, "Miami" is pronounced " muh - AM - uh" whether it refers to the city, the nearby county, or the Miami Indians.

My customary three are now with you. Maybe you should give the others a bit of a nudge.

Hi to all -- and I'll announce a Miami winner tonight if I remember...
Answering Jerry's question -- that's Miami, FL. Rhymes with "chamois".

I'm hoping for a couple more here...

I suppose it all depends on how you pronounce "chamois."

Bob, I have a couple of Miami limericks for you but I'm going to have to PM them to you via the OEDILF site. I can't seem to figure out how to add you to my contact list here at the moment and I've got to be out the door in just a couple of minutes.

BobDv, hope you get a chance to catch my rewrite-- lobbing it over now.

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
BobDv, hope you get a chance to catch my rewrite-- lobbing it over now.

Ditto. It's just a one-word revision but it makes all the difference. This piece is now worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

(I suppose I should add a "[joke]" to that, seeing as how I'm no longer a regular poster and some here may not know that I am prone to the occasional exaggeration.)

I selected "Miami" for its rhyme possibilities -- not too obvious (except, of course, for a few like "clammy"...

The selection (pretty good) is below with some comments -- but the winner is Bob Hale:

A critic who comes from Miami
Has reviewed me - a harsh double whammy!
My Richard the Third,
He has claimed, is absurd
And my Hamlet? Well that's just too hammy.
-- Bob Hale -- WINNER

Pretty women will flock to Miami,
From their teens to the age of my grammy.
What their swimsuits have shown
Make a tent of my own,
And my palms become sweaty and clammy.

Chris J Strolin Honorable mention

A New Yorker who moved to Miami
Bilked tourists with offers flimflammy,
Till one stormy day
Huge waves washed him away.
Shouting, "Dat wuz a reg'lar tsunami!"

CJS

A person who lived in Miamois
Made a hanky she called a chamois.
As the months turned to years
It absorbed all her tears
It's on display now with her memoirs.

Jerry Thomas -- Since Jerry asked about my pronunciation I can only assume this was a play on the "EE" pronunciation of the "OI" in "chamois".

When seeking a rhyme for "Miami"
We Brits are, I guess, rather jammy.
Since we can use rhymes
Which others sometimes
Consider to be rather hammy.

Jammy is UK slang for lucky or easy, as in "You jammy so and so" meaning you've had a lucky break you maybe didn't deserve... Hammy means poorly done - usually with reference to acting, although it is used in other contexts...Jammy and hammy both rhyme perfectly with Miami as pronounced by the British. –Richard English

No, I'll never go back to Miami.
It's hot and it's damp and it's clammy,
And they stole all I had.
I was ever so glad
To catch the plane back to my mammy.
-- Bob Hale

When Popeye went down to Miami
He said, "I'm in soich of me mammy.
Oi takes after me pappy,
But oi thinks oi'd be happy
To find her and know who oi yammy!"

-- Bob Hale Honorable Mention for a "different rhyme" from the usual.

I once knew a kid in Miami
Who owned a cute hamster named Hammy.
It escaped as I sat,
And then it went "SPLAT!"
The kids were all crying...oh Damn me!
Kalleh

I once knew a guy called Sammy
Who went to school in Miami.
Though the climate was nice,
He found Miami vice
Made his hands go very clammy.
Arnie

In a synagogue in downtown Miami
A Scot confused all with his tammy.
"My old tam o'shanter
Is fine for this cantor
My kippah", he said, "is too clammy"

-- RIchard English

And my own modest contribution, after all the others were in:

A girlfriend of old in Miami
Thought my courtship a bit of a whammy.
"Strange," said she, "when with you,
Matters not what I do.
I end up having lost a pyjammy."

-- Bob Dvorak

Thank you very much. I was rather pleased with that one myself.

Can I just pop back my editorial aside on this one and point out that while I don't think it's a great limerick it is genuinely autobiographical. I did find Miami hot, damp and clammy and I did have all of my things (including passport, airlne ticket and money) stolen while I was there and I was very relieved to fly away. And I have never been back.

quote:

No, I'll never go back to Miami.
It's hot and it's damp and it's clammy,
And they stole all I had.
I was ever so glad
To catch the plane back to my mammy.

And with hanging head and great sorrow I add these two entries that somehow got lost in c-space, that I found in my InBox this A.M. My apologies to bethree5 & Jerry for having missed them -- the slight was not intentional.

Have I mentioned that Bob Hale is supposed to pick a place for the next round?
-----
In New York everyone has a gram’my
Who shares the broad beach in Miami
With diversity teachers
Like CSI and sea creatures,
Michiganders, and crooks on the lam-my.

-- bethree5

The fishmonger's wife in Miami
Caresses her sockeye salmon's son, Sammy.
She says, "I'll confess
It's a bit of a mess,
And it leaves my hands frigid and clammy."

-- Jerry Thomas

quote:

Bob Hale Honorable Mention for a "different rhyme" from the usual.

Hrrrmmmph! So "Damn me" is usual? I was actually quite proud of that one.

Kalleh wrote...
<<Hrrrmmmph! So "Damn me" is usual?>>
A lovely, unusual rhyme, Kalleh. The rest of the lim struck me, too. What can I say?

So come on, Bob. Time for you to suggest another place-name. Something simple like Towcester, Ewell, Fowey or Belvoir would be nice.