It seems a good time to remind you of a tidbit of Christmas history, a tidbit of which CJ informed us lo these many years ago.

quote:

The very first artificial Christmas tree, invented in mid-19th century London by Dr. Richard Hallswith, was made out of Balsa wood. Sadly, due to the custom of decorating real Christmas trees with lit candles (hazardous enough as it was considering the fact that the evergreen trees were inside homes made mostly of wood themselves) this first artificial tree burnt to the ground along with most of Dr. Hallswith's house. Locals jeered the good doctor and called the idea of an artificial tree as pure folly.

He'd be completely forgotten today if it weren't for that one line of the popular Christmas carol:

"Dr. Hallswith's Balsa folly!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!"

It was spring, and the castle had endured a very rough winter. The moat had suffered the most and was in desparate need of repairs. So Wence the First, and wise and kindly ruler, sent out a call for bids to build a new moat. The winner, Steve's Moat Builders, began work almost immediately. The princess, a young and comely maid, took delight in watching the proceedings from the battlements. She was especially taken with the young and handsome owner of the company and would watch with many a sigh. Her favorite time to observe would be at lunch, when the builders would strip off their tunics, splash water on themselves, and sit at a table to eat. It was then that Good King Wence's lass looked out on the feast of Steven.

Naming Day in Bethlehem

We would put ourselves in danger of being labelled "remiss" if we did not stop here and now to include that bit of seasonal history that explains so much. It happened on Naming Day in Bethlehem.

Young Joe and his immaculate bride had been discussing a name for the baby and now that the birth had occurred, the pressure was increasing. One by one they had considered thousands of Jewish names.

One of the Visiting Wise Men, feeling half blind in the dim gloom of the stable, failed to see the upturned tines of a rake left lying on the straw-covered floor and stepped on it. His weight on the rake's tines caused the rake handle to move upward rapidly until it banged against his forehead with great force. Hit him right between the eyes.

Reeling backwards, almost speechless from the sudden shock and pain, the Wise Man uttered what could have become a Deleted Expletive, but instead became the Holy Name ... "Jesus Christ!!!" he shouted.

Mary and Joe exchanged hi-fives and agreed that that would be their baby's name. One of the Wise Men was heard to say, "It's a lot better than Abie Goldstein."

Santa was busy preparing for his Christmas flight, loading his sleigh, checking his list, polishing Rudoph's nose. A little angel came up to him and tugged at his sleeve. "Santa," she said. "We've finished decorating the tree but ...
"Don't bother me about the tree. Can't you see I'm busy?" And he pushed the little angel away.
A few minutes later, Santa felt someone tug his sleeve. It was the little angel. "Santa, we've finished the tree but can't decide what to put at the top."
"Didn't I tell you not to bother me?" and he pushed her away once more.
Within minutes, Santa again felt his sleeve being tugged and once more he found the little angel there.
"Please, Santa, we need something for the top of the tree...."
"I'm going to shove that tree up your ***!"
And that is how the little angel came to adorn the tops of our Christmas trees.

Jerry would have liked this one

A new Bible translation has this change:

1 And it came to pass that a virgin Mary did reside in Bethlehem
2 And lo Mary be came with child by the Holy Spirit
3 And she did give birth to a boy whose name was Jesus
4 Yet even unto this day her welfare worker believeth her story not.