To the South Island of NZ, then, for the next place name since that's where I'm headed in an hour or so.

This sleepy west coast town in an old gold mining area comes alive every March for the wild and wonderful Wildfoods Festival where you can sample huhu grubs, mountain oysters (sheep’s testicles), possum pate, wasp larva icecream and worse, as well as lots of West Coast beer which is world famous in NZ.

Hokitika = ho-kuh-TICK-uh

I hope you’ll post some wild and wonderful delicacies to my inbox while I’m away. See you Monday!

Number one on its way.

If their beer is so famous, why is it not mentioned on any of the Hokitika websites? Indeed, the only references I can find (other than historical0 are in a couple of blogs - which form of communication I regard with some suspicion.

I must go - I feel a limerick coming on.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Richard English,

Mine came on...

Let’s all send a lim off to Stella,
A poem you create just to tella
About Hokitika
That will make her snicka --
A lim, please. Don’t write a novella.

I’m a fine one to to try to impose THAT last condition.

EDITED to spell the town's name right!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

Anyone else want to have a crack at Hokitika?

I have a number of submissions from one entrant who shall remain nameless and one each from two others, with imaginative rhymes so far.

I'll keep this open till tomorrow morning in case anyone's inspired.

In his first post Proofreader promised me 40 limericks, which thankfully seems to have been a typo. I’m pressing on with what we have.


Proofreader

A beer-loving man from Hokitika,
Well-known for his thirst for malt lika,
Gave his beer mates a fright
When he kicked off one night.
They relaxed when Doc said: “He’s been sicka.”

That beer-loving bloke from Hokitika
Was dead and could not get much sicka.
His mates stepped on his head
Showing ire as they said,
“It’s your turn to buy. Up, ya stick ya.”

A witch tried her spells out in Hokitika.
She got caught cuz the townfolk were slicka.
Saying, “It’s so low class
Stoning a Wiccan ass.
It’s so much more high-class if we bricka.”

A doc’s damsel down in Hokitika
Wanted to be with child. Which was quicka?
Artificially done,
Or the way that’s more fun?
To sticka or pricka? Doc’ll dicka.


Kalleh

We hauled our big chilly bin quick ta
The festival ‘round Hokitika.
Those testes we ate,
And possum’s good pate.
[I think I am gonna be sick-uh!]

I really wasn't able to find out what possum's pate is. Is it possum brain?




Richard

If you're going to see Hokitika
And you fancy fermented malt liquor,
There's one thing quite clear,
Though they claim to brew beer,
You'll find their fine wine rather quicker.

While visiting south Hokitika
I plied a young lady with liquor.
While trying to bed her
I promised to wed her --
And now we've a date with the vicar.

In a dive bar in east Hokitika
I got in a mess with some slicker.
He looked a bit shady
Saying "Now find the lady"
I was quick but the slicker was quicker.


Bob Hale

At the festival in Hokitika
It's not always easy to pick a
Favourite dish
From those they include
As all of them make-a you sick-a.

Two visitors started to bicker
'Bout the merits of old Hokitika
Said the first, of the town,
Well it just makes me frown
Said the other, it's making me snicker.

And a two-verser...

A barman in old Hokitika
Plied all the women with liquor
But though he kept on all night
Until they were quite tight
Of success there was never a flicker.

In that bar in downtown Hokitika
There entered three whores and a vicar
The barman said, "Wow!
I'm converting right now!
The power of prayer's so much quicker."


I want to say at the outset that the part of this competition I like best is opening the inbox to find the entries and the part I dislike most is the judging of it.

Once again Proofreader dazzled with whackiness and prolificness, though this time I found the metric bumps a little harder to read, PR, especially trying to place Hokitika on the correct beat in each of the first lines. Of all the entries this week your second one made me laugh the most.

Kalleh cleverly regurgitated the flavour of the Wildfood festival. The misunderstanding over the word ‘pate’, which I had written sans French accents, added a further dimension – possum pate? Why not? first catch the possum, singe or scrape off the head fur, take a sharp cleaver... I have to say though, on the negative side, that the off rhyme ‘quick ta’ was a little bit of a distraction. Again on the plus side ‘chilly bin’ is a bit of a coup and a staple item at any outdoor Kiwi event and one I wouldn’t have expected you to know.

Richard’s first limerick is perfect IMO in all things except content - they make terrible wine on the West Coast, Richard. The next two were also great and overall I think Richard has the best R & M of the whole bunch.

Bob’s first entry seemed to be missing a couple of things – maybe a rhyme, Bob? Perhaps that was just a draft. His second was good if disparaging and the double-banger was inspired I thought, though possibly verse 1 could’ve been a little tighter. ( Gee, whatever happened to lovely light-hearted looseness? That didn’t last long, did it!)

This week’s competition might have gone any which way. Richard and Bob's limericks on how to get chicks in Hokitika were tied neck and neck in my opinion but in the end I’ve chosen Bob’s two-verser as the winner on account of the clever theme with bonus points for the extra internal rhymes.

Oh, I didn't know "chilly bin." I found a New Zealand/English Web site. I did my homework!

As for pâté, there is a word pate (rhyming with 'ate') that means "brain." I thought maybe this was possum brain. In many of the Web sites I looked at about "Hokitika," there weren't any accents in "pate." Oh well.

This has been a bad limerick week for me; I've lost twice. Do I at least get some extra credit for my homework?

BTW, I had sent you this one after your PM that it was pâté and not pate:

We dragged our big chilly bin quick ta
The festival ‘round Hokitika;
Had testes fillet,
And possum’s pâté.
[I think I am gonna be sick-uh!]

quote:

Richard’s first limerick is perfect IMO in all things except content - they make terrible wine on the West Coast, Richard.

Maybe they reserve the best wine for export. The NZ wine we get here is very good (although I tend to buy English wines when I buy whites).

I don't know how that happened - the first one appears to be a mash up of two versions that I was working on - L2 should say "favourite food".

New destination coming shortly...

YOO-HOO!!! Oh, Bo-o-ob.... Where's our next limericky location pliz?