One of my friends who has had some difficulty with her college-aged son told me she was going to get him a year's supply of family therapy for Christmas!
That made me wonder--what are your ideas of the funniest holiday gifts? They can either be something real or made-up.
I have one real one: my husband, one year, gave me a door mat for Hannukah. Now in all fairness to him, he also gave me some perfume. But--a door mat?
A made-up one to someone I hate: a gift certificate for a root canal

Years ago, a man at work told me he gave his wife an electric train for Christmas. Then he said it was a combination Christmas and birthday gift. When I asked if she wanted an electric train, he replied, "I don't know, but I always did!"

Tinman

In the UK we don't give holiday presents - that would be the same as if you, in the US, were to give vacation presents!

We give Christmas, or Easter, or birthday presents. Most other occasions are not celebrated by gift exchange.

Richard English

What do you call the gifts Jewish people exchange at Hannukah in Britain?

Richard English brought up an interesting difference between British and American English terms, holiday/vacation. It seems puzzling to me that we in the USA use the French term instead of the English one. To me, the French/USA term is more descriptive of the action taken, but the British term is more descriptive of the origins of time off work. Might this reflect the Calvinist belief that those who didn't work themselves to death were going to Hell?

Quote:
"...What do you call the gifts Jewish people exchange at Hannukah in Britain? ..."

I confess I don't know as I have no Jewish aquaintances who are close enough for me to consider friends at a gift-exchange level. I would imagine that they would be called Hannukah presents.

I suspect that we have fewer "special" days than many other countries in any case.

Richard English

The expression "vacation" is understood here but it's just not used.

Many of our public holidays are taken during the time of a religious festival (hence holy day) and the essential characteristic of time off work has meant, by extension, a vacation.

Holiday, though, is the term used in legal documents and legislation so I think it's fairly safe.

Richard English

Actually, we call them Christmas gifts, too. I just said "holiday" gifts to include our Jewish participants (me, for one!) However, Hannukah is a much less important holiday to the Jews than Christmas is to the Christians. In fact, I think Americans make it bigger than it really is because there are so many Christians here.

Returning to gifts. Many years ago my elder brother, then aged about four, gave father a rubber duckie for the bathtub.

Father, in retelling the story, commented that it was one of the finest gifts he ever received, for the endless pleasure he got from seeing his son enjoy it.

(OK, to make this word-related, I'll add that in ordinary speech I, like Richard, would not refer to "holiday" gifts.)

I've been thinking of marketing do-it-yourself vasectomy kits. They should make such jolly gifts!

I sure am glad you and I do not exchange gifts with each other, Asa!

(OK...how many times did I mess up my tenses there and how out of agreement is it, Richard?)

When my son was one, he got a pull toy as a gift for his birthday that was a hard plastic turtle with a hard plastic something-or-another inside on wheels. The idea was to pull it with the string and it would make gentle rattle noises and encourage the child to walk. At least that was the idea. It worked until he discovered how much fun it was (and how much noise it made) when he bounced it off the floor by the string.

Fast forward about 3 months...I was climbing over the gate between rooms and trips and landed on it, breaking it! (To loud cries of my son and loud sighs of my husband and me!)

Fast forward one more month, it's Christmas. We are sitting at my husband's folks house and my son opens a gift. "Oh boy, it's a pull toy turtle!" I damn near cried as I saw this thing!

quote:

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(OK...how many times did I mess up my tenses there and how out of agreement is it, Richard?)

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I know just what you mean, Morgan! Now I feel like the Grammar Police are following me around. It took me so long to write that post about Hannukah versus Christmas, and it still sounds lame. I think it's time for bed.......

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Originally posted by Kalleh:
That made me wonder--what are your ideas of the funniest holiday gifts? They can either be something real or made-up.

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An old Emo Phillips line:

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas and she said "Oh, I don't know. Just surprise me with something unusual and expensive and something I really don't need!" So I signed her up for radiation treatments.

True story: When I was about 12, I found some truly ancient pornography in an antique store and bought it for my father for Father's Day. It was completely tame by today's standards and I thought it was a total hoot. He was less than impressed...

It dawned on me today that even though I am Christian, and celebrate Christmas is a big way, I seldom say "Merry Christmas" to people. I almost always say the generic "Happy Holidays". With so many religions and customs in the U.S., I am always afraid that by wishing a Merry Christmas, I will offend someone who doesn't share the sentiment. There is Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, and Christmas celebrated about the same time each year. And if they celebrate another holiday, I'm covered with my greeting!

So, with all that said,

"Happy Holidays everyone!"

Same from Kalleh!
At our office, we get "Dear Santa" requests from needy families. We buy the gifts the children want and send them to the school. I got a little boy's request for "a remote-controlled car and a plane". Well, I bought him the niftiest, bright red, remote-contolled car. However, the mischievous Kalleh wanted to teach him a few things about clarity with words with the plane. I was tempted to go to a hardware store and buy him a plane. However, motherly Kalleh wouldn't allow it!

Then there was the sweet young pussy cat who was trotting down the street singing, "All I want for Christmas is a baby," and an old Tom cat following her singing, "Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus..."