Please select the number of the limerick that you like the best. In a few cases, the author sent me a series of limericks for one selection, so, in that case, you'd be selecting the series:
1) I once knew an old man from Qatar
I married his lovely young daughter
We were madly in love
She was my turtle dove
I now rue the day that I caught her
For this lovely young lady from Qatar
Had the brains of a retarded otter
She was great in the bed
But soft in the head
Now I wish that I never had sought her
Now fat and ugly in Qatar
My wife is just an old rotter
I pray and I pray
But she won't go away
And she won't take the pills that I got her
2) I once knew an old man from Qatar
When a girl walked by he would mutter
I don't know what he said
But I knew his head
His thoughts were straight from the gutter
3) There was a young lady from Qatar
Who always made my heart flutter
My knees would go weak
And I couldn't speak
Whenever I tried I would stutter
4) I knew a young man in Qater
Who constantly played his sitar
He played in the square
For anyone there
He sounded like Ravi Shankar
5) A boycotted monarch from Qatar
Called out for support, all a-flutter
But soon some covfefe
From Don, tin-pot jefe,
Reduced his complaint to a mutter
6) A potentate with a fortune in Qatar
Pledged megabucks for the hand of his daughter
Too bad the word got spread around
That underneath the burkah was a hound
And finally, it was Grandpa who bought 'er
7) A gent who's a Muslim in Qatar
Thinks American women are hotter.
But cultural norms,
Until it reforms,
Mean his girlfriend looks much like an otter.
8) Through a Nose Running: QATAR
I've always pronounced it "ca-TARRH"
It's not universal by far,
But I'd shelve all the others
If I had my druthers.
I like how it rhymes with "guitar."
9) The French chef was all aflutter
For the virgin queen from Qatar.
Though a hand, he did win,
He could not get IT in
Till he swathed it all in butter.
10) A reprobate living in Qatar
Was known to be quite an old rotter
With his money from oil
He had only one toil:
Unveiling a veiled lady's twatr
11) A wizard residing in Qatar
Thought he could outdo Harry Potter
With his wand and with glee
He exclaimed, "Now you'll see!"
Alas, now his wine is just water.
12) A pilot of Air Qatar,
who was skilled on the air guitar,
to a faux music duel
once challenged a Hindu,
Who won with an air sitar.
13) "The was a young sheik of Qatar,
who decided to journey afar,
He mounted his camel
to travel untrammeled,
but got thrown with a bone bruising jar."
14) Paterfamilial Responsibility
An unsuitable suitor from Qatar
Has asked for the hand of my daughter,
And accordingly lays
On the head of the man who begot her.
"Pursue not this suit for my daughter,"
I emphatically told the sot. "Not her!"
Though I'm not a prig, not
A racist or bigot,
She'll not tie the knot with that rotter!
15) A virus is spreading in Qatar
It penetrates one's dura mater
Is it encephalitis?
You get it by drinking the watar.
I think that's it! Choose away; there's quite a variety. The difference between this and the poll is that people will know if you vote or not, and for whom you vote. I'll vote only if I have to break a tie.
[edit: Added one that I had missed, but no one has voted yet. PLEASE VOTE!]This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,
OK, I'll vote. Both of the serial Lims gave me a chuckle, but I couldn't make either of them scan on all lines. The air guitar seems imaginative, but I can't make lines 3 and 4 work. (Maybe it's the non-Western musical scale of the sitar?) #5 is right up-to-the-minute political satire that really tickled me. The one you added late assumes we're all doctors, nurses, or arnie.
Considering what a rough rhyme this was, I'll go for #5, although it wasn't properly nasty.
I'll go for number 7.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Had a lot of trouble with the rhymes and the metre this time round in virtually every one. I could only figure them out by looking at what words Qatar had been rhymed with and then forcing myself to say it in a way that rhymed with them - if you see what I mean. Of course, to my British ears, there were several where the other two A-rhymes didn't rhyme with each other which increased the challenge. Nevertheless I'll go for number 14.
(It is one of the challenging ones - for me none of Qatar, daughter and begot her rhyme with each other. I had to prononce them Cotter, dotter and begotter to make it work which is incredibly unnatural in my accent.)
Still that is my choice. --------> NUMBER 14 <-----------
Sorry I didn't submit one. I was unexpectedly called away to another province for a few days.This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,
I'll vote for #3. Good metre.
That's how I pronounce it too, so No. 8 gets my vote. No. 12 using the same pronunciation didn't get my vote because "duel" doesn't rhyme with "Hindu". Pity because I liked it otherwise.
I didn't submit one this time around, mainly because I was too busy, but also because it seemed to me from the outset, that almost nobody playing the game would pronounce it the same way we Aussies do, so anything I put in would get zero votes even if it was really good, but I was wrong someone else does pronounce it that way.
For what it's worth I am also disappointed we have dispensed with the Poll. It's not like we took a vote on it?This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,
Go on, set up a poll. I dare you.
LOL! A Poll on whether or not we should have a Poll? It appeals to my sense of humour "almost" enough for me to do it? One more dare and I will.
No, no, no! A poll on whether we need to set up a poll about setting up a poll.
Turtles all the way down.
I have just started a poll on this - Let's vote and then stick with the outcome. Otherwise all of these discussions are going to do us in, I am afraid. PLEASE VOTE
One more request - can everyone please bold (or make clear) your choice for this game? We need more votes!
Surely you didn't miss my Turtles All The Way Down Poll?
I am with Bethree and voting for 3.
Yes, I saw your poll, Bob - Funny!
I just thought I'd post a more serious one so that we can vote on how we prefer limericks to be posted.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,
Bethree, Sattva, Bob, Greg, arnie & Geoff have voted. How about the rest of you? Tinman? Hab? Proof? Shu? (he submitted this time!) Goofy?
I like fourteen (14) best, with 5 a close second. (I don't generally vote for my own, whatever what my opinion...)
See -- that's one thing the matter with a poll: no room for nuance. It's too all-or-nothing, and makes no distinction between one-much-better-that all-the-others and two-or-three-goodies-closely-bunched at the top.
FWIW - I tend to downgrade heavily for departing from strict Limerick meter. De gustibus and all that.
No, that isn't a problem with the Poll, that's a problem with the Voters who think because there's a Poll, they can't make comments as well. When there's a Poll I always comment on which one I voted for and why, and which other ones I liked if any. If everybody did that, then you would have a simple accounting system to easily determine the winner, and a bunch of comments, with all the nuances people take the trouble to mention.
I'm with Greg. How would voting in a poll stop you posting this as well?
And why does this keep coming up??? I very much doubt if anyone has ever voted for their own, or would ever think of doing so. On the very rare occasion when you really do think yours is the best (it's happened to me once or twice), you can either vote for the next best or abstain (both of which I have done), and I am pretty sure everyone else would be in the same boat. And if you are the very rare exception that did actually vote for your own, the only person feeling bad about it would be you, so can we please never mention this subject again!
Why all this to-do about the occipital protrusion on a critter's head? Who won? Around here they're always asking cattle their opinion.http://www.ansi.okstate.edu/breeds/cattle/polledhereford
I'll vote for 8, not as a comment on the pronunciation, but because I like the meter and rhyme.
In a lounge on a street in Qatar
I strum and I play my guitar.
I don't sing, you will note,
Since there's phlegm in my throat
And my nose is inflamed with catarrh.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Proofreader,
Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
Three and 14 are tied? Kalleh, break the tie and let us move on, please!
That's the trouble with NOT using the Poll. It just took me a good five minutes to work out that in fact 3,14 and 8 are all tied with two each. On a poll that would have taken two seconds to work out.
I agree. And, as one who has had to collect the votes on this one, it is not easy to identify the winner(s) this way. The poll seems much easier to me, even if the answer is not easy to read for some.
From my reading, there are 3 winners (if I missed something, please correct me!): 3, 8 and 14. It really isn't fair for me to pick the winner from these because one of them is my husband. Bethree, you came up with Qatar so could you please select the winner between 3, 8 and 14? Then I'll post the names. Thanks so much!
Perhaps Bethree is on vacation. Okay then. Would someone be willing to step in and make a selection between the three? If not, I'll just take Shu's out of the running and vote between the other 2.
Well, heck. No one is going to make a choice? Then I will. Here are the authors:
9) ??? Not sure who - either the person deleted their entry, or I just can't find it amongst your many PMs. Sorry! Will the real #9 please stand up?
12) Sam Bartlett (friend of Geoff's)
13) Sam again
Shu's is #14, which I have disqualified because of my conflict of interest. Therefore, it is between 3 and 8, and I choose 8! Good job, Hab. Please post the next game any way you'd like because I must sort out the votes and comments about posting these games in the other thread.
Hah! I predicted as much. Hab sent me that one by mistake early on (instead of Kalleh) & I told him it was a winner. Only reason I didn't vote for it was cuz technically that's not how you pronounce it-- but really that made it funnier & I should have voted for it.
Hab, are you up for the next game? Being talented, we give you that job a lot.
Quoth Kalleh: "Being talented, we give you that job a lot." Is Haberdasher talented or are we?
Okay. Let's see what we can pound out of this one.