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Question:
A. farmer who lived in Cologne
Was told his last seed had been sown,
But while in Niag'ra
He tried some Viagra -
His garden is now overgrown.

B. My beau is chap from Cologne.
His English I have to bemoan.
He asked me to bed;
I fed him instead.
We can't even talk on the phone!

C. There once was a man of Cologne
Who when peeing alone was quite prone
To miss where he aimed
Though he often claimed
“I'm not there, but I'm right in the zone.”

D. There once was a man from Cologne
Who made his druthers well-known:
"I must avoid salt,
I drink single malt,
And take my sex strictly by phone."

E. Now Jim's all alone in Cologne
When he calls young Joan on the phone -
Then the bimbo tells Jimbo
Her legs are akimbo,
Then she starts to groan and to moan ...

F. A Deutscher from up in Cologne
To all things Italian was prone.
His girlfriend, one Sofi,
Was surely a trophy:
When coming, she'd yell out "Maron'!"

G. Unknown to young Joan on the phone
Jim's bone had long grown and been blown,
Wasting both Jimbo's cash
And the flash of Joan's gash -
That's sex on the phone in Cologne.

H. Said the hooker he met in Cologne,
“This thing that you have hasn't grown,
And whatever I do
No result will ensue...
I think that we'll have to postpone.”

I. A cocky young duke from Cologne
Did bed his new bride from Polonia
He announced that his prick
Was 10inches, and thick!
Mounting same, she pronounced 'twas balogna.

J. A studly young man from Cologne
Was actively rubbing his bone.
I would be in such bliss
To do this with a Miss,
But I'm doing just fine on my own.

Choices:
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
F.
G.
H.
I.
J.

 

Sorry folks, but now that there has been a vote, I am going to have to declare my hand here.

I got an email re the posting of the poll from Proof at 12:32 pm AEST last night. Within 15 minutes of that I started sending Proof PMs to tell him that he has recorded one of my limericks incorrectly. I sent him 4 PMs in the end. 14 and a half hours later still nothing, so I will have to tell you myself before too many other votes are cast.

Limerick E and Limerick G are both mine. They were supplied to Proof as a single 2 verse entry (hence the ... after moan), but for some reason Proof decided to put them in as separate limericks, but the are not. The one needs the other and vice-versa. So when reading the limericks please consider E & G as one entry. Since the only Vote cast so far was in fact a vote for E. If you want to vote for my 2 verse entry please vote for Limerick E and don't give any votes to Limerick G.

If declaring my hand disqualifies me from winning then so be it, I just want my entry to be read as it was intended to be read.

I posted the game early on Saturday because I was away for most of the day. When I came home I found that my internet was out and was out all night. It seems the cable company worked on an unrelated problem on the pole outside and disconnected my line without realizing it. They finally fixed it this morning.

I don't know what to do about the mixup now. Should we just continue even though we know who wrote at least two lims?

No Proof - that's the whole point, they are not 2 limericks. E & G were submitted as a single entry. This was my entry:

Now Jim's all alone in Cologne
When he calls young Joan on the phone -
Then the bimbo tells Jimbo
Her legs are akimbo,
Then she starts to groan and to moan ...

Unknown to young Joan on the phone
Jim's bone had long grown and been blown,
Wasting both Jimbo's cash
And the flash of Joan's gash -
That's sex on the phone in Cologne.

I have explained it quite clearly, above and in my PMs. If it makes it easier for you to handle then consider E & G as removed from the contest, but they are not 2 limericks, they comprise what I am calling a 2-verse limerick. If that renders them an illegal entry all well and good, as I said I just want my entry (whatever you want to call it) to be read and hopefully enjoyed the way it was intended to be read. Putting them in as separate limericks (not even one after the other) makes that impossible without the explanation I was forced to give above. However if you do that whoever voted for E won't have a vote that counts for anything. My other entry (a normal limerick) is still in the contest unidentified.

Just leave the two verses in. It doesn't matter. It's only a game. For what its worth I think they
stand well individually or collectively.

I suspect each of the following is a typo:

A. A farmer who lived in Cologne

B. My beau is a chap from Cologne.

Was 10 inches, and thick! (space missing after 10)

I agree with Bob, Greg-- both verses work well as stand-alones, & you clarified early so others will know how to read it. I was the first vote & chose another which I would have anyway [ ]

I, too, agree - especially since I voted for the akimbo one. Love that word!

I guess I should have just shut my trap and let the game roll on. It's just that it didn't cross my mind to treat them independently because they were written as one, with identical structure, as in:

Lines 3 & 4 - B-rhyme used 3 times across the 2 lines
Lines 1,2 & 5 - A-rhyme used in 5th & 8th syllables of all 6 lines, and the bonus in Lines 1 & 2 of G also in the 2nd syllable

Very clever. But I liked the separate one that I voted for, as well. When I first started on WC, I wrote about akimbo here.

Whilst we are not "playing for sheep stations" here, we obviously all want to win. I make this observation because in the last game Proof tied with himself with two very nice "blue" limericks, so we have all figured that the only way to win is to go blue. Every single limerick in this game fits the bill.

BTW is "playing for sheep stations" just an Aussie expression or is it universal?

quote:

BTW is "playing for sheep stations" just an Aussie expression or is it universal?

It seems to be limited to Oz. I'd never heard it before although its meaning is easy enough to guess. Wikipedia (of course) has an article.

In fact, 'sheep station' is itself a phrase limited to Oz and NZ.

Speaking of sheep stations, whatever became of Stella?

Here are the results for this limerick game.
A. GregS got one vote
B. Kalleh one attaboy but no votes
C. BobHale also struck out
D. Kalleh went two for two
E. GregS polled another vote
F. Bethree5 garnered an affirmative
G. GregS missed out on this one
H. BobHale whiffed
I. Bethree5 unheralded
J. Proof with two

So is there a run-off vote or what?

No need as Proof won.

BTW, I wrote B, but not D. I wish I would have though - it's pretty good!

Good job, Proof!

Thanks!

What's the new location?

Proof, are you up for doing another one? If not, whom would you like to do the next game for you?

I have not heard from Proof. Bethree, would you like to take the next game? I hate to let this sit too long.

Does anyone want to start the next game, please?

Am willing. Just need to think up a location. If someone's already got one, take it away. Otherwise will post new game later today.