"At your service, gentlemen-- do allow me to administer last rites," said Father Tom unctuously.

"Oh, I guess I'll just have one of those, ah, you know, the green drinks," said Tom absently.

Oh, I guess I'll just have one of those, ah, you know, the green drinks," said Tom absently.

Excellent!

By the way, during filming of the recent movie Georgia Rule, which focuses on three generations of women, conflicts simmered between the three generations of actresses, especially over the pet deer that the ingenue, Lindsey Lohan, kept on the set. During shooting breaks, the senior actress was shocked to see her feeding it petit fours and absinthe.
. . ."How can you feed liqueur to that thing, Lohan?" she asked.
. . .Lohan's reply? "Absinthe makes the hart grow, Fonda."

"I'm a-wearing this here tux," said Tom informally.
"The next step is to pour the melted wax into the mold," said Tom informingly.
"I'm at the stage where my opinions are still developing," said Tom informatively.
"Our band is in position for the half-time show," said Tom informationally.

"What would Dan Rather do?" Tom asked, journalistically.

"She has put on weight," said Tom emphatically.

"I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.

"The wind blows west," said Tom vainly.

quote:

Originally posted by Hic et ubique:
. . ."How can you feed liqueur to that thing, Lohan?" she asked.
. . .Lohan's reply? "Absinthe makes the hart grow, Fonda."

[QUOTE]Originally posted by arnie:
"I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.
QUOTE]

a three-word pun! Here's mine:

"This tower's on fire!" cried Tom inflammatorily.

"My internist said 'Have the operation,' and my surgeon said 'Don't have the operation,' and somehow that made sense!" said Tom paradoxically.

"Cardiac arrests? I've made several," said Tom, the retiring police officer, wholeheartedly.

"I've lost my recording of Hungarian Rhapsodies," complained Tom listlessly.

quote:

Originally posted by arnie:
"I've lost my recording of Hungarian Rhapsodies," complained Tom listlessly.

ROFL!

"Ah.. I don't have any Tatum albums and my birthday's coming up," said Tom artlessly.

"I am a friend of the Man of Steel," sneered Tom ironically.

"Now I can't find my recordings of the Brandenburg concerti," growled Tom, barking mad.

I'm on a musical (drum) roll ...

"I'm going to watch Coppélia," said Tom deliberately.

To move to something more recent:

"I like surfing songs," said Tom, on the beach, boyishly.

Now jazz ..,

"I love Thelonius," said Tom, monkishly.

"I'm just a little kid when it comes to French cooking," said Tom childishly.

For afficionados of the US TV sitcom:

"Faith, I'd like to eat you next, after digesting your sister," said Tom the cannibal, hopefully.

Or ...

"Hope, can I eat your sister now?" asked Tom the cannibal, faithlessly.

"Actually, I'll let you girls decide who gets eaten first," Tom the Cannibal said charitably.

"Are you the one who eats bushes and leaves?" she asked, cunningly.

"I still think Marianne's 'As Tears Go By' is best," maintained Tom faithfully.

"This is Masters & Johnson's seminal work," Tom ejaculated.

"The weather on our honeymoon was wonderful!" Tom exclaimed climatically.

"It's Homo sapiens sapiens" Tom specified, manfully.

"Peano's obsolete,", Mirsky expostulated.

quote:

Originally posted by jo:
"The weather on our honeymoon was wonderful!" Tom exclaimed climatically.

"And the sex was great too!" exclaimed Tom climactically.

and that was the intended double meaning of the original. I guess I'm not conveying my message well on some of these double meaning Swifties of mine. I really should leave it to you masters of the Swifty.

"Wow !" said Uncle Tom, anticlimactically.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

Nice one, jerry! Mind you, it took a moment to sink in. I thought to myself, "Why specifically Uncle Tom?"

Thanks, arnie.

"This land where I had planned to put a mine has no minerals on it," Tom exclaimed.

quote:

Originally posted by jo:
and that was the intended double meaning of the original. I guess I'm not conveying my message well on some of these double meaning Swifties of mine. I really should leave it to you masters of the Swifty.

I figured as much, Jo! Just being a wise guy.

"Do you like my Russian satellite tattoo?" she mooned; but Tom merely stared.

"I'm just making sure all these items bear the proper graphic symbols," Tom remarked.

"No need to kill the ant, simply brush him aside by sliding your foot so, intoned Tom pedantically.

"My parents were swept away by the flood water." said Tom, rapidly.

"Every now and then I put Anthrax in the envelope before I mail a letter," says Tom sporadically...

Hey, Hab, thanks for finding and reviving this thread! I looked for it last week, but to no avail.

"That's quite a tail you've grown, Fred," Tom said atavisticly.

"Hey, you pretty little Dryad, let's get naked and pollinate," Tom said gymnospermatically.

Tom failed, however: Someone played the National Anther, disrupting his activity, after which he didn't have the stamen-a to finish. Go ahead, GROAN!

"For what you've said, you are ordered to jail." said Judge Tom, contemptably.

Check further up, Geoff, to see who started it again.

Ohhh, so it was EWE, Proof! Well, good on yer!

I was delighted to see names in this thread that I had not seen in years. Some have died, some have moved on, and some are just in hibernation or estivation. Maybe we can get some back!

"We're moving the prisoners to Heraklion," said Tom, concretedly.

"Leave the oven on, I'm not done yet," said Robert, browning.

"I'm not interested in planks of wood," said Tom, boredly.

"I'm not interested in tree structure," Tom barked.

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
"I'm not interested in tree structure," Tom barked.

"That does ring a bell," said Tom woodenly.

contributed by my middle son:

"Somehow they coped with the isolation of the Great Influenza pandemic of 1918, even without all the electronic communication methods we have nowadays!" said Tom presumably.

Made me think of this...

"I won! I won! I won!" cried Donald, presumptuously, before all the votes were counted.

"I've got Psoriasis," Tom said, rashly.

Variations on a theme -

“I shall defend to the last my right to have Nero Wolfe enjoy a Guinness,” said the writer stoutly.

(...probably should have left it in its simpler form)