Here are the Clarinda limericks:
1 Our target this month is Clarinda.
And if you play golf you might winda.
In nearby Greek Oakleigh
The girls are all pokely
(They tell me; I haven't yet binda).
2 The spinsters who live in Clarinda
Will often read Pris'ner of Zenda
They'll read it and weep
Vibrators will creep
Upon their neglected pudenda.
3 The golf courses near Clarinda
Are the best in the world to send ya
To the top of your game
But you won’t get the fame
Just help with your wedding agenda.
4 So lonely was Cam in Clarinda
He set up a date-night on Tinder,
But there was a catch -
When she didn't match
Her photo, he had to rescind 'er!
5 Not many words rhyme with "Clarinda:"
There's Melinda, Belinda, and Glinda...
In frustration I say
I shall throw out Roget
And then burn OED to a cinda.
6 I fell madly in love in Clarinda
With a beautiful girl named Belinda.
She gave me her heart
Right from the start,
And my very first taste of pudenda.
7 I persuaded the judge to rescind a
Decree to stay out of Clarinda
By saying, “Alright,
I’ll stay home every night
And just watch the street from my windah.”
8 In Melbourne I met my Belinda;
We kissed and made love, but were in da
Car - and so squeezed
That when we both sneezed,
We were thrown all the way to Clarinda!
9 She strolled down the streets of Clarinda
The lovely Greek girl named Lucinda
A beautiful flower
Men paid by the hour
She holds, in her arms now, Belinda.
10 A peeping-Tom late of Clarinda
Admired the disrobing Belinda
Just one time too many
Whence Belle's betrothed, Jenny,
Dispatched him by bat through the winder.
11 I met a young girl in Clarinda;
A lovely young lass named Lucinda
She wanted a spouse,
A child and a house,
But I had a different agenda.
Note: No 11 came with a very funny cartoon attached, but I don't think I can include it in the Poll, but I'll try. No didn't work.
I think that's it, but before too many people vote, please let me know if I missed or messed up anyone's limerick, and I will change it by republishing the Poll.
Thanks everyone for being so creative with a difficult rhyme. I particularly liked the use of the Aussie Ocker and British Cockney way of saying window by two of the entries.
By the way as of about an hour ago there is now an Official Guinness World Record holder living in Clarinda, namely yours truly. I broke a previous Record of 75 for "The Most Consecutive Catches of a Returning Paper Aircraft", setting a new one with 318 consecutive catches with a Paper Plane I designed that I call the Zoomerang made out of a standard sheet of A4 80 gsm paper.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,
And (as previously mentioned) in an attempt to create a new tradition of allowing Poll setters to have a vote uninfluenced by the need to split a tie, rather than vote for one that may have added another entry to that tie, and therefore depriving that entry of a vote it deserved, I have cast the first vote for No. 9.
I liked several entries quite a lot, but this was the only one (not even my own) with 2 perfect A rhymes. It also scanned well and had a subtly unexpected twist in the tail/tale.
Wow! These are all so good. I am going to have a really difficult time choosing one over all the others.
I am impressed - such a hard word to rhyme.
My vote's in, and I also should note what I think of when casting my vote. Less-than-perfect for rhyme is okay oftentime, but a rhythm flaw loses my vote.
Perfect in both is best, of course.
I liked #5 because it played with the difficulty of rhyming Clarinda. #9 has a nice ambiguity as to whether Belinda is her child of her lover. If lover, it shares a theme with #10. Also odd that two of them used "pudenda," one as singular, and one as plural I'm thinking it's plural, but Latin class was sooooo long ago...
I ended up voting for #5 because it amused me the most.
Do we have a declared winna? I think #9 is unassailable at this point.
Yes it does look that way, but there were different competitors, yet we have only got 6 votes so far, so I will leave it a day or 2.
Let me re-phrase that:
My vote's in, and I also should note
what I think of when casting my vote.
Less-than-perfect for rhyme
is okay oftentime,
but a rhythm flaw loses my vote.
And if that has any appeal to you you might enjoy reading Patrick Rothfuss' The Name Of The Wind, and its sequel, which are full of Easter Eggs like that. I should warn you, though, it's a trilogy, and the third volume hasn't been written (and may never be).
So that makes it a dilogy?
I think he's just logy...
Oh well it seems nobody else wants to vote, so I hereby declare sattva the winner with number 9.
Of course, it was a comp without a prize, because it had previously been determined that Geoff would determine the next destination anyway. But since this is the first time sattva has won a Limerick game, Geoff may decide to hand that prize to sattva.
Other authors were:
1. Hab - Nice use of the info I provided
2. Geoff - Probably the bluest of the entries, but not blue enough to garner a vote
3. Sattva - Picking up on the plethora of superb golf courses in my locale
4. Me - Thought it would win when I wrote it, but no appeal elsewhere
5. Hab - Runnner-up with a limerick about this limerick game
6. Tinman - Another very blue one, perhaps the fact that pudenda doesn't quite rhyme with Clarinda put people off this and Geoff's
7. Bob - So nearly got my vote, loved the "rescind a" rhyme
8. Kalleh - Powerful sneezing - it's a good 15-20 km from one to the other
9. Sattva - Clear winner on which I commented when I cast the first vote
10. B35 - My equal 2nd favourite with Bob's, both of which used "wind-uh" for window
11. Tinman - In the funny cartoon that was attached, Lucinda had a very full thought bubble of things she wanted out of the relationship. Tinman's thought bubble was empty apart from a tiny overlap with Lucinda's on the word "sex".
And not one single comment on my Guinness World Record?
I've not commented on your world record out of pure jealousy!
Good going, Sattva! I defer to her for our next location.
BTW, is "pudenda" plural, as I assumed, or is Tinman correct?
I voted for #5.
Oops, checked in a day too late to vote. I would most likely have chosen #4 (Greg we have mutual admiration in limericks ). Same outcome, congrats sattva.
Interesting & clever pastime, Greg, congrats to you too!
Thanks for the congrats! I think I should stop now while on top, since I doubt that I will ever be able to do this again!
I wrote Geoff that I think he should pick the next place. So, Geoff, you are up!
Nope! You won, so YOU get to tell us where to go!
Pudenda is the plural of pudendum, though the plural is often (usually, according to M-W) used for both singular and plural.
And in the OED Online:
Here is the cartoon that went the following limerick:
I met a young girl in Clarinda;
A lovely young lass named Lucinda
She wanted a spouse,
A child and a house,
But I had a different agenda.
Yes! I like.
Let's remember, Wordcrafters, the person who starts the game (in this case Greg) should not vote. That vote is saved for the end if there would be a tie. Otherwise, someone could theoretically have two votes. Just a reminder - and it didn't make any difference in this game.
Sattva, nice job. You go, girl!
Well as I stated at the outset, I was trying to create a new tradition where the person starting the game gets a "real" vote. Having a casting vote is not a "real" vote (by Kalleh's definition of it), because you may have to choose between two limericks you don't like, while the one you actually like best doesn't get your actual vote.
My wife spent 6 years in Local Government as a Councillor (you may call them Aldermen or perhaps Alderpersons to be PC) and one of those years as the Mayor of the City. She voted on all issues as Mayor, and then had a casting vote if there was a tie. Having a casting vote doesn't mean you can't vote, that's why it called a "Casting Vote":
Casting vote - Wikipedia
A casting vote is a vote which may be exercised (usually in addition to his or her normal vote as a member of the body ...
Obviously Kalleh doesn't want it to work this way, but what do others think?
For what it's worth I like your way better but I'm easy either way.
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
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That makes sense to me, Greg.
Although I would prefer that Sattva chose the next location, a PM from her has convinced me to go ahead choose one.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,
Well, I will live with it then, but I don't agree with it.
Any other proposed rule changes? I missed your comment, Greg. If we have rule changes, let's point them out in a separate thread.
Don't know how you missed it, it is in the first message after the Poll in this thread, and my last message (4th last overall), in the Poll for Spencer (Spencer Immortalized).
That means you don't agree with the principle of a "casting vote" full stop, according to the generally accepted meaning of what it is, which you are perfectly entitled to do.
Even in democracies there are many variations, some have compulsory voting, some do not, some have preferential voting, some have first past the post, some have Presidents, some do not, some allow casting votes, some do not.
But just by the way, using your method, on every issue requiring a yes or no vote, where there is an even number of voters, the person with what you call the casting vote, would "always" be on the losing side, because if that person didn't get to cast a normal vote first as a member of the body, there could never be a tie.
And if there is an odd number of voters, there can't be a tie anyway, so that means the person with the casting vote actually has no vote.
Recently I've taken up Bridge, and a recurring theme seems to be "Which rule shall I bend under the present circumstances?"
I'm really not sure our game should crystallize into Rules, and voted upon, with crossness arising when the rules are flouted. Even a "correct" answer means only "I like this one better than that" (which can't be disputed) or perhaps "Yeah, that's what I had in the upper-right-hand drawer of my desk..." which is of necessity arbitrary.
The game is supposed to be fun. In the current context I would plead for flexibility, and let rules evolve as they will, on their own.This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
What Haberdasher said. I saw what happened some years ago on the AWAD forum when rules were applied to a game I introduced there. They renamed it and it morphed into something I couldn't understand. Let's just write a limerick or two, toss it/them out and see if they elicit a giggle or three. No need for constitutional lawyers or Talmudic scholars! No doctoral dissertations on the exegesis of the rules of limerick submission!This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,
I admit that I don't read every word on this site.
If there were 5 voters, 2 could vote for one limerick, 2 for another, and 1 for another. The game leader would then choose between the two that are tied. Or am I missing something? I do agree with you that when there is no tie, the leader does not get a vote. I've had that happen a lot, but I've never cared.
At any rate, I said it was fine the way it is (though, when I am the leader, I will not vote unless there is a tie). I am fine having no specific rules, and indeed I'll remember that when I write my limericks. Let's move on.
I don't understand how this seems to have devolved into something so unpleasant.
It's how things "evolve" in a democracy, someone puts forward an idea, argues their case as strongly as they can, maybe gives it a trial run, to see if people like it (or not), and then the people decide one way or another. That's all I did, I don't care what you decide, I just thought it was worth thinking about. When I first played the game, the setter had all the power, determining the winner, then someone brought up the idea of a poll, gave it a trial run, and despite the objections of a few (which will always happen), it has stuck and the game has evolved.
I made what I was going to do very clear before I did it. The game is fun that's the only reason we play it, and I did not think for one second that what I was doing would somehow make it less fun, but it seems to have done so and for that I am sorry.
But if one is not even allowed to suggest new ideas, then that will certainly take some of the fun out of it for me, and I'd seriously think about not playing it any more.
I gave a slight change a test run
But somehow that spoiled the fun,
I do not understand
Why I got so shit-canned -
But with that, then maybe I'm done?
I haven't commented so far, but I have no problem with your suggestion and understand the point you made. I don't see it as a big deal. I am all for fun when it comes to these games, which is why I suggested in the bluffing game, that we add the most creative daffynition, as well as, the correct one.
I think we're getting caught up in the process and getting distracted from the content of the game. Processes can be rigid; content is less formal (always my preference).
If I have a new idea, I use it; if it has appeal others do too. No vote needed. And I won't take it as negative criticism if others don't.
I should have congratulated you long before this, Greg! Good going! You mentioned before that you might go for 1,000. Are you seriously considering this?
If I ever implied it was a "big deal," I certainly hadn't meant to. It's not. I was just reiterating the rules, as we've done here before - because I had missed Greg's post on that. I have been busy lately and probably just read past that part of your post.