Since I've been awarded the hono[u]r of providing the next Limerick Game location, I have chosen the Canadian city you see above. Why? Well, being a centrist sort, Winnepeg is located nearly at the geographic center of North America, latitude-wise. Is that a good enough reason?

Send your entries to me or, preferably, to Bob, who knows how to judge them.

Nearly, but not quite at the centre. The town what claims to be right in the geographic centre is Rugby, in the USA. As it happens I have been through both Rugby and Winnipeg on the train (not the same train, I hasten to add).


In fact, I did walk around the environs of Winnipeg station for an hour or so, whilst "The Canadian" was making one of its many lengthy marshalling stops. Unfortunately, although it was only around 1700, most of the bits of Winnipeg I saw seemed to be closed, so I can't comment on the quality of the bars and booze!

OK Asa, be sure to re-PM to me (in my role as guest judge) any that are sent to you. But I'll tell you this, next time you win kid, you're flying solo.

I've sent one to Bob and Asa.

I have to think, Asa, but I'll get one in.

I've gotten PR's and replied in kind.

And that one from proofreader is the only one I have so far (apart from one from Asa who is barred from winning because he's supposed to be the judge!)

Mine doesn't have the right metre anyway. It works if you sing it, pretending Gilbert and Sullivan wrote it.

quote:

It works if you sing it, pretending Gilbert and Sullivan wrote it.

Or Abbott and Costello.

Is Proofreader the only one with a Winnipeg limerick?

Bob, I should not have taken you out of contention by asking you to back me up. Go ahead and write one and I'll muddle through the judging.

Asa, I am trying...Life has been busy, and I can't come up with a blessed thing.

But I will!

I have been trying but there are very few perfect rhymes for Winnipeg - and not all that many near rhymes either. Guinea Pig springs to mind - but apart from that...

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Originally posted by Richard English:
I have been trying but there are very few perfect rhymes for Winnipeg - and not all that many near rhymes either. Guinea Pig springs to mind - but apart from that...

Which is what makes it such a creative challenge.

Where's the fun in doing the easy ones?

There's "Meg," diminutive of Margaret, and "keg," and "beg," and "dreg," and "leg," and these noise-makers: http://www.myspace.com/sloughfeg

The problem is that Winnipeg is stressed as WIN-i-peg and so the last three syllables have to be *IN-i-peg for a proper rhyme or *IN-i-*eg for a partial rhyme (acceptable here, I think). Nevertheless it can be done. It just requires ingenuity.

Bob, that reveals why I should never have gotten involved in this game. I haven't the faintest idea what a proper limerick looks, sounds, feels, tastes, or smells like!

Oh, quit complaining, my boy. You've won twice in a row, for heaven's sake! Let it be known that's never happened to me, even though I've been writing limericks for 5 years now.

Anywho...I sent my lame (literally!) limerick to you.

quote:

There's "Meg," diminutive of Margaret, and "keg," and "beg," and "dreg," and "leg," and these noise-makers: http://www.myspace.com/sloughfeg

There are plenty of rhymes for "peg" - and plenty for "win". But as Bob points out, all the syllables following the stressed syllable "Win" have also to rhyme.

I'm not saying it can't be done but it's not al all easy.

My best effort on this is pretty terrible so far - but can I ask is it WIN-uh-peg or WIN-ee-peg?

It had better be WINNeepeg or I wasted my time.

It's whatever works for you.

Well Asa, looks like you are flying solo on the judging (muddling through somehow) as I have sent you a couple just to prove to these naysayers that it can be done.

So I see. Well, I'll muddle through one way or another. You used a rhyme in the last line of your second one identical to one I came up with! I'll PM it to you if I can find it in my scrap bin. (It's on paper, not in the 'puter)

Asa sent me a very clever one. You should have entered the WPSI...indeed, I should have asked you to write one for me to send in!

There's a certain amount of learning what works and what doesn't work with limericks. I remember my first limerick rhymed "word" with "girl" because I thought the "ir" sound was enough. However, in the end, it all depends on talent. Asa, you have it. Were you to give this a year or so, you'd be a fantastic limerick writer, I am sure.

Do we still have a little time?

We're waiting with bated breath for yours, Stella!

Asa, turning blue

While no dinosaurs live here today
Once, a long time ago, they held sway.
Some say dinos were straight
When out picking their mate --
Lickalotapus? That one was gay.

Lickalotapus? I'll give an earful,

Though his name may have sounded quite fearful,

With his tongue and his lips

Tickling her tender tips,

I'm quite sure he must have been cheerful!

Asa the peevologist who KNOWS that "gay" means "cheerful"

Thanks for waiting, Asa. I apologise for holding up the works. It’s been impossible for me to get to the computer lately and now I'm afraid that my effort wasn't really worth waiting for anyway. I’ve rhymed it win-ih-peg which may not work very well for you rhotics.

Proofreader:
A homeless bum stuck up in Winnipeg
Would often a buck, pound or guinea beg
So he could buy some booze. He
Was in no way too choosy.
He’d take boxes of wine or a mini-keg.

Bob Hale:
A tall and thin barman called "Skinny Greg"
Worked in a bar down in Winnipeg
Wine and Spirits? He'd none!
And the real ale had gone.
But he still had a foul-tasting tinny keg.

A dancer of ballet in Winnipeg
Who had one remarkably skinny leg
Said "Well what does it matter,
If the other is fatter?
When I spin, I begin on the mini-peg."

Two Margarets (called "Fat Peg" and "Skinny Peg")
Went out on the town once in Winnipeg
Said the Peg who was maxi-
"I'll call us a taxi!"
"I'll pay half the fare!" replied Mini-Peg.

Kalleh:
I knew that my lady in Winnipeg
Loved screwing and often would gin a keg;
Loved dancing and twirling
And jigging and whirling,
Even though a good leg and a mini-leg!

Richard:
In a snowfield some distance from Winnipeg
Said a stranded Scots skier, "Ah dinni beg,
But I'd find it most handy
If I had a large brandy,
St Bernard, from out of your mini-keg."

Stella:
At the Wholeness and Health Spa in Winnipeg,
Unfruitfully, Peg sought her 'inner Peg'.
Said the swami, devouter,
Addressing her outer,
“Enlighten your intake at dinner, Peg!”

As I've said before, I'm not a proper judge of these things, but I found myself outrightly laughing at Stella's, with Richard's the next most fun. It was worth the wait, Stella!

I also very much liked the rhythm of Proofreader's effort.

Hmmmmm... The silence is deafening. Did you all read Tinman's vulture post and get sick on your computers?

Stella, it's back to you for a new name.

quote:

Hmmmmm... The silence is deafening. Did you all read Tinman's vulture post and get sick on your computers? Confused

We were all waiting for you to tell us who was to choose the new destination. Now we know.

From a man who claims he can't write them and can't judge them - a fine and worthy winner.


Confidence man, confidence.

Since you're one of those who have the form mastered, I thank you for your confirmation that I didn't do anything silly in making my choice.

Thanks, Asa! I’m glad that limerick made you laugh – that’s the best compliment ever. Thanks too, Bob, for your endorsement.

Sorry for having dragged the chain on this one – it’s just that lately I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking*. However, I think I can see clear air ahead and I'll be posting a new competition forthwith.


* = busy