1. That Washington island called Vashon,
Lost business so only makes cash on
Its orchards and farms
Cuz Starbucks caused harms,
So let’s stamp on their beans and then mash on!

2. Crime is rampant in desperate Vashon

I’ve a lovely apartment in Vashon
With a beat-up old couch I can crash on.
For my table, a crate
Barely holds up my plate
Which I put all my eggs and my hash on.

I should mention when I say “my hash on”
I do not mean the drugs that I crash on.
I refer to corned beef
That I snatch, like a thief,
from a market I shoplift in Vashon.

3. Another of the sordid characters inhabiting the town.

A young harlot residing in Vashon
Has men who will part with their cash on.
So she isn’t too picky
Who she’ll grant a quickie
Letting riffraff and geeks and such trash on.

4. Here's a bet you might care to put cash on -
"What's the most famous sight down in Vashon?"
The answer you'll see
Is a bike through a tree!
Which years back a young child did lash on.

5. There is a shrewd farmer from Vashon
Whose daughters are every man's "pash-on"
They stay in the loft
Where they can't get boffed
(Yet traveling salesmen do crash yon!)

6. The cruise ship we took around Vashon
Turned out to have only white trash on
It was full of dumb hicks
From way out in the sticks
That the sun had soon raised a heat rash on

7. While cruising the sea around Vashon
There were plenty of rocks we could crash on
We all dashed to the oars
To escape from those shores
And the mate, with great glee, laid the lash on.

8. Created for you, Eau de Vashon,
An island-y scent you can splash on:
The high notes are very,
Very strawberry,
With base notes of cow poo-- pure 'fash-on'!

Question:
Vote for your favorite

Choices:
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: bethree5,

There were a lot of good ones in this batch. I particularly liked one of the rhymes...very clever...so that's why I chose it.

Surely there are other voters out there.

I didn't play but I did vote.

Too late he cried! I had this idea since day one, but it didn't come together until just now, but thought I would share it with you anyway:

A very old vagrant in Vashon
Had his spot in the park he would crash on,
But should he be seen
Wearing grey gaberdine,
It's a spot he would quite likely flash on.

Har, har! Despite orthography you get my write-in vote Greg.

Seems that horny old vagrant in Vashon
Had a bench he could crash on and flash on.
He was found without thong
Proudly showing his dong
And police showed him little compashon.

Well, darn. No votes for mine. I am thinking I need some tutorials in limerick writing...or that I should just plain quit writing them.

Looks like we need a casting vote from someone.

Well, we have 7 votes. Shall we call it? As a newbie pollmaster, I'm not sure of precedent here. I can cast a tie-breaker vote a la Speaker of the House if you wish.

Since you're running the game and haven't voted, you're our Joe Biden.

I HAVE voted. Just wasn't sure if I am supposed to break the tie somehow.

Since no one knows who you voted for, and you are running the contest, whatever (or whoever) you choose of the tied limericks is the winner.

Yes, proof is right that usually the poster of the limericks doesn't vote...and then that person chooses the winner in case of a tie. In this case, Bethree, go ahead and choose the winner, even if you already had voted for that limerick. We'll never know if you voted for one of those two or not.

Thank you, all, for your patience. I promise now that I've got the poll-thang down, the next time I win (in about 5 yrs judging from past performance), things will move more swiftly.

I'm casting my extra non-vote vote for Proof's #2. Both #2 & the tying #7 by Bob Hale garnered 2 votes. Although Bob's makes some reference to the location (worth a pt), I'm not sure Puget Sound qualifies as 'sea', & I give extra credit to Proof for 2, countem 2 equally well- metred & -rhymed verses.

Kalleh's #1 though well-metred, funnily-rhymed, & on-target w/Starbucks biz reference garnered no votes.

Bob Hale's #3 despite bawdiness garnered 0 votes.

RE's lovelily metred #4 despite appropriate reference to the lack of action on Vashon got only 1 vote.

My own #5 despite oh-so-clever references to traveling salesmen jokes scored 0, no doubt due to inaccurate rhymes.

#6, another Bob Hale entry, with limerick-qualifying features of offensiveness as well as good metre & rhyme, garnered only 1 vote.

#8, another zero-vote-getting entry by yours truly, though replete w/location refs, was probably dinged by all due to another lazy rhyme.

OK, Proofreader, it's all yours!

Not quite got it nailed yet bethree5 - I wrote numbers 6 and 7 - number 3 was not one of mine.

Oops! Quite right. That was supposed to read "Proof's #3, despite... (etc)

Thank you for the compliments about the metre of my limerick. Did anyone check its accuracy, by the way?

See here - http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/1412

That's what I like, Richard, when a limerick describes the venue. I should have voted for yours. From now on, I will vote, but probably not write...and I will look for descriptions of the venue. To me, that's the spirit of the game.

I thought it was great to once again see a bit of commentary from the Game Organiser, on each Limerick, when announcing the Results. Good job B35.

Thanks, Greg!
Richard, re: bike eaten by tree , I totally missed that! I'm passing this picture around to my sibs: it captures the feeling you get as a rural kid ('nothing ever happens here').

Trees don't just eat bicycles. Link

I'm thinking on the next placename.

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
Thanks, Greg!
Richard, re: bike eaten by tree , I totally missed that! I'm passing this picture around to my sibs: it captures the feeling you get as a rural kid ('nothing ever happens here').

Maybe I should have put the link next to the limerick. I do try, whenever possible, to write something appropriate about the place.

Yes, I agree. Nice poll, Bethree...and thank you for being persistent with figuring out how to conduct the poll.

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
I'm not sure Puget Sound qualifies as 'sea'

Puget Sound is part of the Salish Sea.