Wordcraft Community Home Page
The River Nene limericks

This topic can be found at:
http://wordcraft.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/410600694/m/8840037886

October 21, 2017, 06:20
Geoff
The River Nene limericks
Here's what we've got:

A.

“It’s ‘Nay-nay’,” you say? I say, “Nay! ‘Neen!’”
But a stranger chips in “While you may mean
The place, not the goose
(Which is what I deduce)
For most “Nin’s” the right way that they lean.


B


Inspired by the song, "Down by the Old Mill Stream".

Down by the River Nene
Where I first met Jean
With her eyes so blue
She was so untrue
Yes, Gene, but a queen.

C.

You can rhyme it with hen or with bean.
It won’t trouble the old River Nene.
It flows on its way
Like a lazy spring day,
Not entirely, but mostly, serene.

D.

Americans shout out Hey! Hey!
When our President lauds the KK.
He's rude to Ms. Cruz;
Is he missing some screws?
Let's push him in River Nene!

E.

I was stopped by a cop by the Nene
In a park in the dark on the green
I was screwing a lass
With a mighty fine ass
How'd I know she was only sixteen?

F.


This is a parody of the jazz standard, "Last time I saw Jeannine." Melody by Duke Peason, lyrics added later by Oscar Brown, Jr., sung by Eddie Jefferson.

Last time, last time I saw Jeannine
Was on, was on the River Nene
She left the ‘hood
She’s gone for good
She was, she was so awful mean

G.

As I lay on the banks of the Nene
With the beautiful Bridget McSween
I uttered great sighs
As she stoked my thighs
And nestled herself in between

H.

An old goat on a boat on the Nene
Whose language was bawdy and mean
Met a nun from a cloister
"I will give you my oyster,"
She said, "When your mouth has come clean"

Pick one. Oh, shucks, pick two - they're cheap!
October 21, 2017, 06:55
BobHale
H


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.

My current blog.
Photographs to accompany Anyone Can DO It available from www.lulu.com
My photoblog The World Through A lens
October 21, 2017, 14:55
tinman
C
October 21, 2017, 18:22
Proofreader
E


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
October 21, 2017, 20:48
sattva
Geoff, you didn't include my favorite that you wrote:

"While floating serene on the Nene
Someone said, "What on earth's a 'spalpeen?'"
I said, "I know not,
But I fear that it's got
A meaning that's likely obscene"

Can't we include this as "I", because this is the one I like best?!


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
October 22, 2017, 04:11
Geoff
If you want to include it, OK.
October 22, 2017, 20:49
sattva
I vote for "I". Smile


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
October 23, 2017, 11:33
Geoff
Since we've got a "jump ball" situation here, would someone who hasn't voted please pick one to give us a winner?
October 23, 2017, 11:40
Geoff
Sunflower here: I like C.
October 23, 2017, 11:44
Geoff
Huh? How'd my spouse log in as me??? Oh, well, we now have a winnah! Sattva, you're it!

I wrote H and I; Bob wrote A, Sattva wrote B and C, Kalleh wrote D, Tinman wrote E, F and G.
October 24, 2017, 21:10
Kalleh
I am late to this party but would have picked A. I wanted one (besides mine) that had a proper rhyme. Speaking of proper rhymes, where is Greg these days?
October 25, 2017, 06:13
Geoff
Shucks, Kalleh, A was my pick too. Bob, you got cheated!

I must ask whether you did or did not like the idea of using a geographical feature instead of a town?
October 25, 2017, 14:49
sattva
No, he didn't. I abdicate to Bob.


"Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease." ~from the Metta Sutta
October 26, 2017, 05:56
BobHale
I'll post a new place tomorrow - as for geographical features - why not? I once did the moon and once did Narnia so I'm flexible on what constitutes a place name.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.

My current blog.
Photographs to accompany Anyone Can DO It available from www.lulu.com
My photoblog The World Through A lens
October 28, 2017, 06:33
Geoff
Is it tomorrow yet?