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I’m creating this new thread for our limericks, so it will be topped with a reminder of how this board operates (more fully discussed atop the "Messages to Posters"). CJ’s board will differ, and by keeping this note handy we'll forestall misunderstanding. General:
Let the fun continue! | ||
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The previous thread was closed out but is still readable. One of the last posts included my apology for inadvertantly causing some degree of heartburn and a bit of an explanation regarding why this project may have seemed to have become slightly chaotic recently. I am specifically not asking anyone to respond to it here or elsewhere but I did want you to be aware that it was there. Edit by Wordcrafter: Chris, you've told me you don't always see your PMs, so I'm putting this here. Let's chat to coordinate; drop me a PM letting me know when would be good for you.This message has been edited. Last edited by: wordcrafter, | |||
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acoustics An aging and blind basset hound Always barked as he bounded around. He couldn't learn new tricks But, using acoustics, He echolocated by sound.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Virge, | |||
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acrophobic A shy, acrophobic canary Made friends with the quail on the prairie. When a finch in a tree Propositioned him, he Said "Your eerie, high aerie's too scary." | |||
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acrophobia A height-fearing queen named Zenobia Tried bungee for her acrophobia. Odaenathus protested and primly suggested, "Tie your toga! The drop could disrobe ya!" | |||
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Not as good as the previous, but since it was mostly written before the Zenobia rhyme took me... acrophobia There once was a man from Nairobia Who suffered such strong acrophobia That the couch was too high, So his shrink said, "Juzt lie On ze floor at my feet vhile I probe ya." | |||
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Adrastea (T. Alborn) The job that Adrastea had Was to separate good Greeks from bad. She was Jupiter's kin Now she's destined to spin, An oddly-shaped moon, 'round her dad. Nairobia? The capital of Kenya-a? | |||
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quote: ![]() Yeah, I had to stoop to a foreign spelling and pronunciation of Nairobi to get my rhyme. I toyed with the idea of using Ethiopia or Cambodia, but the difference between the plosives irked me. | |||
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hmmm .... Nairobia.... Very clever, virge! Is any word a perfect rhyme with phobia? As a prize to anyone who finds it, I'll pay for a lifetime subcription to Wordcraft. (Exclude the obviously-poor choice of any of the dozens of specific phobias; exclude multi-word rhymes like "probe ya", though they are perfectly good in a limerick.) Hint: I've found only one. Since we may not may not be others to use when we define all of the phobias, let's have a gentleman's agreement rhymes are allowed in that context. ![]() ![]() | |||
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This rhyming dictionary offers eight words that rhyme with phobia. | |||
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Jerry's response raised another question, but I should never have raised the original question here. It was more than minor, and I interrupted unduly. Sorry! The subject raised is now moved to a new thread under Wordplay.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hic et ubique, | |||
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acciaccatura Each acciaccatura sounds just before Its principal note in the score. Played lightly with pace They ornament with grace, Too slow, they're a dissonant bore. Pronounced ac·CIAC·ca·tu·ra (with the attack on the CHACK) | |||
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AGRONOMIST, AGROLOGIST Agrologists study the soil Upon which agronomists toil. When should they plant seed? Should they chemically feed? And how best the weather to foil. | |||
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In an afghan you'll oft find a hippy, Who'll wear one when it gets a bit nippy. It's a huge furry coat, That can smell like a goat, But I love them - or am I just dippy? | |||
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AFGHAN My afghans have fuzz but no fur. I knit them from wool, that's for sure. They wrap 'round my knees And they keep out the breeze. When you're cold, they're a warm cozy cure. | |||
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JUST A SUGGESTION TO POLISH THE METER quote: Now what to do about the an/one/them discrepancy... | |||
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aft (T. Alborn) A sailor, astern in the craft, Was ordered to take himself aft. He responded with laughter: "If I got any after I'd float in your wake in a raft!" affricative (T. Alborn) "Pf" in pfeffer and "ch" in Chinese Are affricatives both, if you please. They start with a stop, Then let air from the top Of your mouth, sort of like when you sneeze.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tim Alborn, | |||
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Access: I'm trying to gain access To the girl in the beautiful dress Her mother hates me So my attempts to see the girl won't have much success | |||
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actinides / actinoids Most actinoids tend to decay Through radioactivity. They Are a group most unstable At the base of the table. Take notes; Tom will quiz us today. There's U and Pu and Np, And there's Th, No and Md... Actinides, actinoids, They're just different woids For the group that begins with Ac. [Editorial Note: If you haven't heard Tom Lehrer's The Elements your education is lacking.] | |||
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Abishag Abishag, King David's nurse Is a subject of biblical verse When her master expired, Adonijah desired To wed her, and this was his curse. Abou Ben Adhem Leigh Hunt was a pretty good poet, when 'bout Abou Ben Adhem, he wroet. What lesson was taught By the verse that he wrought? If you love other people then show it! This last, I must admit, stretches just a wee bit for the rhyme. Given the subject of love for one's fellow man, I toyed for a time with rhyming Adhem, bottom, and Sodom (in the antithesis, of course), but just couldn't make it work... | |||
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Oh shucks... Abou Ben Adhem There's a poem 'bout Abou Ben Adhem of it's moral we'll get to the bottom you'll win praise from above, If your fellows you love (But not like they did it in Sodom!) | |||
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aglet (hic) Here’s a tip when you lace a new shoe: A shoelace that's limp won't poke true. The sheathe that encases The tip of the lace is The aglet – to help you poke through. | |||
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acology If you study acology you're A student of remedies, for sure. If you sang in the '80s About killing Kuwaitis, You must have discovered "The Cure". | |||
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accumulate To accumulate means to collect or to grow over time. I'd expect I could claim that we nerds all accumulate words, and nobody here would object. | |||
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abstractum The ontologist mused, "this abstractum Is the thought of a thing, known post factum." So he abstracted girls Wearing nothing but pearls With his idealized self to distract 'em. | |||
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This is not critiquing but, my goodness, we've got some great stuff coming in lately! I especially enjoyed the "aft / after" and "poet / wroet" wordplay. Keep up the great work! | |||
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affusion (T. Alborn) Affusion refers to the sprinkling Of infants, held over a sink-thing. It saves souls, some are sure, But the Baptists demur: Of sin, they say, tots have no inkling. | |||
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quote: I don't know where the correct place to post this is, but I think it flows a little better as Most actinoids tend to decay Through radioactivity. They're a group most unstable At the base of the table. Take notes; Tom will quiz us today. Rhyming decay and radioactivity is a bit of a stretch, but the extra beat on that line really threw me off. | |||
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Actuarial: Of or relating to an actuary Who computes the risk of death for your canary The premium will be high If the bird likes to fly To heights which most others find scary Or, since that makes an actuary sound like something ornithological Computing premiums is quite actuarial Like the risk that you'll soon undergo burial When Statisticians are these They're called corporate sleaze And they're usually quite adversarial | |||
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afterglow (T. Alborn) All sailors enjoy, as you know, Sea shanties, spiced rum and "Land Ho!" But they take most delight Near the start of the night, In a sunset's bright red afterglow. | |||
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Afterglow (another definition) This may be a bit too adult, so please criticize if necessary When you're with a woman you know And you love her and she loves you so If she spends the night and in the morning takes flight All you're left with's the sweet afterglow Edited for polish.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Seanahan, | |||
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Forward glow's found at the bow Which is what you'd expect anyhow. Meanwhile, you will learn That the glow at the stern's Afterglow. You might yell, "Holy Cow!!" | |||
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quote: Hmmm... how about: In an afghan you'll oft find a hippy, Who'll wear one whenever it's nippy, It's a huge furry coat That can smell like a goat, But I want one - or am I just dippy? I wasn't sure either about the pronoun change from singular to plural, but I went with it because I liked the last line, and felt it was still obvious that "them" referred to afghan coats rather than "hippy" (although actually I love both!) So that's two definitions of aghan done, then - anyone for the canine and human ones? | |||
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quote: If I change it I'll probably misspell radioactivity as radioactivitay. We'll workshop the limericks later. | |||
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Cat - nice of you to suggest a rhyme about a dog! afghan An afghan's a wonderful hound Silky hair in his coat does abound With grace, charm, and style He can prance all the while A most elegant dog, all around! | |||
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accroachment If you wish to usurp or encroach Then take heed of this subject I'll broach So accroachment's your goal? Drop the civilized role! You should take an aggressive approach. | |||
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affinity It's a synonym for consanguinity, It joins masculine with femininity, And when chemicals bind, It's the word you will find: The answer, my dear, is affinity. | |||
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affluent Affluent means, ordinarily, "Wealthy": but not necessarily. It's also a stream That's not worth a centime. It just flows all day long, tributarily. | |||
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Tim, I liked your 'affluent' just fine, but I had to combine these... affluent/effluent Affluent, used as a noun, Means stream, (be careful, don't drown!) But if it's polluted; By garbage re-routed, It's effluent, smelly and brown. | |||
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adulterous / adopted / adoptive (+ addicted / admirable / adjunct / adduced / adult / adored / ad) An addicted adulterous dad Adopted an admirable lad. His adjunct adduced, "each adult dad seduced Had adored his adoptive dad ad." ![]() | |||
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additive Her teacher one night after class Slipped an additive into her glass. The spike in her drink Perhaps leads us to think That his mind's only track was "harass". | |||
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Congratulations Wordcraft members! With 40 contributing authors we now have 500 limericks (not counting revisions) defining or referencing 488 words. See an updated dump of the interim limerick database. | |||
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AC/DC Plug in socket's an AC supply While for DC, then batteries apply. If your high voltage needs (For your dirtiest deeds) are from AC and DC, you're bi. Note: will the band be remembered when the project is finished? | |||
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Aesculus, or horse chestnut tree, Helps with problems circulatory, So for varicose veins, Cramp, swelling and pains, Take a tincture – and then wait and see! Not too happy with the meter, but it's a passable first draft. | |||
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affectation If you don't understand "affectation," Let me give you a short illustration: When the guy at the dump, Acting like Donald Trump, Calls his junkshop a conglomeration. AC/DC will always be remembered. | |||
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Oh my goodness, I just can't wait to jump in with both feet and get into some heavy-duty workshopping. I mean that in the most positive sense. My impression to quite a few of the last 100 or so limericks has been along the lines of "Yes! That's 95% of the way to great!" Seanahan (and others) - Wordcrafter has requested we not engage in critiquing here but instead wait until the OEDILF site is up (hopefully next week) but to answer your question, no, your "afterglow" piece was fine as far as acceptability standards are concerned. Were you to explain in graphic detail the activities of the preceding evening, well, that might have been a different story. I'll send you a PM (private message) to clarify. Also, you all may have noticed a sudden drop-off of the number of limericks coming from yours truly. Rest assured that the well has not run dry. I've got about 15 or so to post but I'm using them to make sure I understand how to use the new site. A few just to keep my good standings here: Aesop (Note: This can be pronounced with the stress on either syllable. The primary pronunciation, which I use here, is with a first-syllable stress.) Aesop told tales, often funny, Teaching lessons but still, for my money, In a race that is fair 'Tween a tortoise and hare, The best odds are still on the bunny! afar "At a distance" is known as "afar" As in something not near where you are Like married offspring Or else it's that thing That's prevented by Smokey the Bar. (OK, altogether now: Gro-o-o-o-o-o-an!!) There's another one I'll post but since it makes for a good thread topic, I'll put it up in the Questions and Answers on Words forum under the heading of "Take the gym sock out of your mouth and say that again, dammit!" | |||
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There was great tumult at a recent international conference, in Bankok, over how to deal with the spread of AIDS. Two competing plans were the CNN plan and the ABC plan - neither named for the network. CNN means "Condoms, Needles, Negotiations". And ABC fits right into these limericks. abstinence; ABC (hic) Abstinence prevents infection. Second choice? Make a careful selection Of a partner and do her But Be faithful to her. If you must stray, use Condoms' protection. [Of course, one could slightly modify the words "do her".] | |||
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affranchise The demands of the slaves did resound: "Free us from being in chains bound! Affranchise us, master! Avoid the disaster Of seeing your house burnt to the ground!" One suggestion/request, Chris: could you list the 15 words you've limericized, so as to avoid duplication? Did I mention that AC/DC rocked? | |||
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OK, I've got limericks on afebrile, Afghanistan, aeroponics, affection, aficionado, afflatus, Africa, affordable, affirmative, afraid, aesthete, and affair not counting the two above and affliction which is posted elsewhere. Plus let me post another one here since I doubt we're going to need that many to test out the new site. (Plus, OK, I want to show it off.) aflutter Sometimes when my mind's in the gutter My heart skips a beat, all aflutter, As I contemplate sins With identical twins Who have told me to bring cocoa butter. As I've said before though, don't be afraid of duplication. The friendly competition it brings (along as the constructive criticism of the workshopping process) will make for a stronger work overall. Plus, It's obvious that many words have many different senses and even then multiple limericks based on the same sense of the same word are perfectly OK. All things considered, the final limerick total could easily top three million! Pretty sizable collection, I'd say! (Let's see... We've got 500 in a little over two months... Hmmm...) | |||
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AFFLATUS, AFFIRMATION Afflatus is an affirmation Of holy, divine inspiration. Take care with such knowledge From God's heav'nly college, Oft delivered within conflagration. | |||
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