In a relationship with a woman, a man can
either be right or get laid, but never both.

Its been my experience that in any relationship, sooner or later you're going to get screwed!

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a faschist dictataorship, a parliament or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.

Hermann Goering, at the Nuremberg Trials. Scary, isn't it!

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, a policeman stopped him. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture," the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man.