The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." And take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A"

I'm glad my name isn't Ms. Teresa Banyan !

But, LadyBeth, although the student you quoted deserved an "A" for the style of his answer, his premise was totally untenable from the start! Quote: "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time." It has been axiomatic throughout the history of philosophy and religion that Hell and Time are mutually exclusive. Hell has always been held to exist outside of Time. This has been fertile ground for imaginative speculation. The French writer Bridaine (who favoured a theory of subtle psychological torment in Hell) opined that "When the guilty ask, 'What is the time?',a voice answers 'Eternity.' There are no clocks in Hell, but an eternal ticking."

On a more cheerful note, the same circumstance has always been regarded as the operative principle in Heaven! Note the words of the slave-trader-turned-hymnist, John Newton in "Amazing Grace":
When we've been there 10,000 years,
Bright shining as the Sun,
We've no less days
To sing God's praise,
Than when we first begun!

Until some physicist can propose to me a cogent theory for the non-consumptive consumption of Time, I shall have to accede to Newton's eloquent proposal that Time does not exist in the hereafter!

Until some physicist can propose to me a cogent theory for the non-consumptive
consumption of Time, I shall have to accede to Newton's eloquent proposal that
Time does not exist in the hereafter!
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I'm reminded of Mircea Eliade's book, The Sacred and The Profane, which was a book about time. Sacred time is, he suggests, circular, or cyclical, as are the seasons, as was suggested in Ecclesiastes (A time for this and that) whereas profane time is linear, having a beginning and an end. Following Eliade's reasoning, hell itself is sacred.

Regarding "Amazing Grace," when I lived deep in the Bible Belt I once made the comment that I knew I'd never convert and become a Southern Baptist (like maybe 75% of the people I encountered there) seeing as how I could never consider myself a "wretch." (as in "...that saved a wretch like me.)

God, how they hated me in the South!

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What must hell possibly be like?
Home videos of the same reunion?

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What must hell possibly be like?
Home videos of the same reunion?
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Heaven would be CJ and Dante and Billy Graham all in the same room!

Bill Moyers once said that he is a Southern Baptist, as is Pat Robertson, Jesse Jackson, Strom Thurmond, and Jimmy Carter. Some minor differences in interpretation there, however.

Asa the ex-southren curmudgeon

quote:

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Heaven would be CJ and Dante and Billy Graham all in the same room!

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Heaven for me, maybe. You might not know this about me but I enjoy a good scrap every once in a while. But for D. & B.G.?