Another wacky headline

December 21, 2014, 08:53

<Proofreader>

quote:
Was it, the police shot dead the boy?

Most obvious conclusion, based on experience. But the headline can be read as their having shot a dead boy.

There's an ad offering help to "people suffering from mesothelioma caused by asbestos and their families." I think a comma or two would make it clear that the "families" had nothing to do with catching the disease.

December 21, 2014, 13:26

goofy

potential ambiguity vs effective ambiguity

December 22, 2014, 20:37

Kalleh

Very reasonable, goofy. Here is the article in Language Log they referred to.

January 13, 2015, 12:10

Geoff

Not a headline, but in the first line of a news (?) story: "A Muncie woman...has been charged with conversion,... driving while suspended and possession of paraphernalia..."

So she changed religions? She hangs from the seat belt while driving? And what woman doesn't pack a passel of paraphernalia in her purse?

While we understand the intent, the jargon would surely drive an ESL student crazy. And I really want to see how she reaches the pedals!

January 13, 2015, 12:22

<Proofreader>

quote:
has been charged with conversion,... driving while suspended and possession of paraphernalia..."

Legal shorthand which should have been further explained for laymen. Or maybe she was converted from whole to fraction during the accident.

January 14, 2015, 20:26

Kalleh

Call me dumb, but what does conversion mean here?

January 14, 2015, 20:55

<Proofreader>

Theft of property: converting it to one's use. Ask Shu.

On a humorous note, the Sheriff of Largo, FL, ordered a large rug for his office with a design of the badge of his office. The inscription on the rug was supposed to say "In God we trust" but when it arrived it said "In Dog we trust." The manufacturer is re-doing the rug.

After the Paris shootings, a massive parade was held in the capital during which many leaders of European countries joined hands and marched. A picture of the leaders marching was printed in most newspapers but one highly orthodox Israeli paper Photoshopped the image and removed several women leaders. Too sexy?

January 15, 2015, 02:05

arnie

Here's a link to the photopshopping story.

I wouldn't say the women were edited out because they were too sexy; that wouldn't account for Angela Merkel's disappearance.

January 29, 2015, 21:03

Kalleh

I am not sure if this is a "wacky" headline, but it surely is a stupid one - and politically incorrect. It refers to a young man in Glenview who has cerebral palsy, but is great at Karate and in fact represented the US in Karate Championships in Germany:

"Glenview man with cerebral palsy still kicking"

Geez!

January 30, 2015, 05:35

<Proofreader>

The promoters of the big football game this weekend go to great lengths to make certain no one infringes on their name. So Staples made this hilarious commercial to avoid using a copyrighted name.

January 30, 2015, 20:36

Kalleh

Very funny! It's the Super Concave Serving Vessel's commercials that I like best about that big game.

February 06, 2015, 11:19

Geoff

This from Fox "news":

Woman experiences unexpected, rapid weight gain after fecal transplant ...

February 06, 2015, 14:49

<Proofreader>

quote:
after fecal transplant ...

What purpose does that serve? I'm always trying to get rid of fecal matter and my wife's nose always tells her when I've achieved my goal.

February 06, 2015, 20:43

Kalleh

That really was a headline, Geoff? What had they meant?

February 07, 2015, 05:05

Geoff

Yes, it's real. It meant just what it said, I didn't bother to read all of it. I just HAD to laugh at the woman's complaining that someone else's turd made her fat.

February 07, 2015, 10:02

Geoff

And another silly one:
Indianapolis Star:
Muncie officials shut down pet store with 30 dead animals

I wonder how they used those thirty dead animals to shut the store down? Barricade the door with their decaying carcasses, perhaps? That'd sure keep customers away!

February 07, 2015, 10:27

<Proofreader>

quote:
jpet store with 30 dead animals

Apparently there is a "necrophiliac beastiality" cult in the area.

February 07, 2015, 22:00

Kalleh

Here is the article, Geoff. It's actually pretty interesting. I had never heard of a fecal transplant before.

February 08, 2015, 05:44

<Proofreader>

Bruce Jenner Survives Fatal Car Crash

If it was fatal, how did he live?

February 16, 2015, 20:42

Kalleh

I suppose others died, but I agree with your point.

February 17, 2015, 02:21

arnie

quote:
Bruce Jenner Survives Fatal Car Crash

I don't see a problem with that. As Kalleh indicated, someone obviously died in the crash, but not Bruce Jenner.

Out of curiosity I looked up the story online and saw that he had crashed into another car, the driver of which was killed.

February 17, 2015, 20:44

Kalleh

Well, he is an interesting fellow, isn't he. His family is on that ridiculous reality show, he is going through a sex change - and now this!

August 09, 2016, 05:28

Geoff

Woman accused of biting officer's ear off held without bail

They usually just talk them off.

August 09, 2016, 11:55

<Proofreader>

quote:
Out of curiosity I looked up the story online

Ordinarily a rear-ender is the fault of the instigator. In this case Jenner was apparently speeding and claims he was distracted by some phantom paparazzi. A woman had stopped two cars in front and he barreled into them. Police didn't charge him in the death and he settled with the family. But now e wants to sue the first car's driver for stopping, since it can't possibly be his/her fault.

August 09, 2016, 20:19

Kalleh

Some people just can't admit they're wrong. One of those types is running for president of the U.S.

August 09, 2016, 21:35

sattva

Not funny, but....

Judo medalist beaten up while celebrating on Copacabana Beach

He was beaten up and robbed and he is judo medalist?!

August 10, 2016, 20:44

Kalleh

Let's face it, it's a little funny. He's probably a bit embarrassed, though maybe he was attacked from behind.

August 11, 2016, 12:04

<Proofreader>

Isn't judo what they make rye bread with?

August 18, 2016, 15:18

<Proofreader>

While describing efforts to combat a blaze in California, the newscaster said "over 150 personnel were at work" Doesn't "personnel: require a modifier, such as "firefighting personnel"?

August 18, 2016, 17:06

Geoff

The meaning is clear, with "firefighting" being implicit, IMO.

August 21, 2016, 10:57

<Proofreader>

I was watching the Olympic commentators ignoring actual first-place finishers to interview losing American contenders and noticed a common phrase which sees common to all sporting events:"He/she is staying within themselves."

First, how do they know? They aren't inside the athlete.

Second, what is it supposed to mean? I've never seen innards popping out during a competition (although one woman years ago suffered an anal eruption, but that may be illlmess). Can you actually leave your physical boy during an event, short of dting?

August 22, 2016, 02:40

Geoff

I've not heard any commentators using the phrase.
I am disappointed in NBC's coverage, however. They ignored the olympics and just showed US competitors plus Usain Bolt. That is NOT coverage. Many sports were completely ignored.

To see it done well, see the movie, "Tokyo Olympiad," which was the official documentary of the Tokyo olympics.

August 22, 2016, 05:30

<Proofreader>

quote:
I am disappointed in NBC's coverage, however. They ignored the olympics and just showed US competitors plus Usain Bolt. That is NOT coverage. Many sports were completely ignored.

I agree they only covered Americans for the most part, but they really covered the entire competition on severa other cable stations.

August 22, 2016, 08:28

<Proofreader>

Not quite a wrong headline but it does define ironic. Tony Perkins, head of the anti-gay Family Research Council, warned that God uses natural disasters to punish gays, Now Perkins finds his home destroyed in what he calls "a flood of biblical proportions." Of course this particular disaster wasn't because of his potential gayness but rather the Lord's way of strengthening the city's spirit.

August 22, 2016, 20:04

Kalleh

Perhaps some conservatives would even see a bit of epicaricacy here.

September 09, 2016, 14:41

<Proofreader>

A local newspaper reported on a chemical spill that killed many birds. "In addition, several cats were found dead and had to be euthanized." Guess it's best to make sure.

September 09, 2016, 18:24

Geoff

Euthanized up to eight times, I suppose.

September 09, 2016, 18:44

tinman

I couldn't find that story online. do you have a link?

September 30, 2016, 20:15

<Proofreader>

TV station headline:

LOCAL MAN CONVICTED OF KILLING FRIEND FOR SECOND TIME

Better check and make sure the last one took.

October 26, 2016, 22:47

sattva

Not a headline, but an ad I saw online.

"Bill Gates's Secret to Staying Sharp After Old Age" It came from Genius Updates. LOL

October 27, 2016, 12:21

<Proofreader>

quote:
Bill Gates's Secret to Staying Sharp After Old Age

He obviously can afford to take the necessary steps.

October 28, 2016, 06:44

Geoff

Found on-line: Researchers have found the first fossilized dinosaur brain

I think it's a commentary on US politicians.

October 28, 2016, 18:10

Geoff

Proofreader, here's one for you from the Washington Post:

"Computer seized in Weiner probe prompts FBI to take new steps in Clinton email inquiry"

I thought it was her spouse who had the probing Weiner?

October 29, 2016, 12:15

<Proofreader>

He sexted a laptop"

October 29, 2016, 20:41

Kalleh

On a more serious front, that computer was illegally seized. They should have had a court order. Similarly, unless there are clear criminal charges, and there are not, it was inappropriate and very irresponsible of Comey to make that public statement on Friday. The Justice Department is furious - they have policies preventing them from making public statements like that 60 days before an election - and it was only 11 days before our national election! The fact is, without having any idea what this is (it very well could be nothing), it could throw the presidential election and probably will affect the congressional elections.

One wonders who was in back of all of this...

October 29, 2016, 21:51

sattva

Well, I guess it depends on whether you think it is wacky or not. With all that has been happening, especially on the political scene, this made me laugh.

Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over America from "The New Yorker".

October 30, 2016, 06:17

<Proofreader>

quote:
very irresponsible of Comey to make that public statement

Could the fact he's Republican have anything to do with it?

Speaking of Republicans, after all their contentions there is widespread voter fraud, a Trump supporter was arrested for voting in at least two different precincts, and a Louisiana voting official was found to have a private voting booth for "VIP" voters.

October 30, 2016, 07:07

sattva

quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
On a more serious front, that computer was illegally seized. They should have had a court order. Similarly, unless there are clear criminal charges, and there are not, it was inappropriate and very irresponsible of Comey to make that public statement on Friday. The Justice Department is furious - they have policies preventing them from making public statements like that 60 days before an election - and it was only 11 days before our national election! The fact is, without having any idea what this is (it very well could be nothing), it could throw the presidential election and probably will affect the congressional elections.

One wonders who was in back of all of this...

Apparently, not doing anything to influence the elections is a long-standing rule, which became official four years ago. Comey did this even AFTER he had learned this. So, it was definitely done with the idea of discrediting Hillary and giving those undecided voters more incentive (Let's just forget that we are helping a spoiled brat with no self-control.) to vote for Trump. According to fivethirtyeight, the percentage of Hillary winning has gone from about 87% to now about 81%. How much more will it fall this week, as news media talks more about this?