The posting in the Rainbows thread prompted me to start a thread about that underrated verse form, the Limerick, which as many can aver:

The Limerick packs jokes anatomical
into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
so seldom are clean -
and the clean ones so seldom are comical!

Using similar spelling eccentricities as were in the Limerick that prompted this thread, can I also submit:

When you think of the hosts without no.
Who are slain by the deadly cuco.
It's quite a mistake
Of such food to partake:
It results in a permanent slo.

Richard English

Quote:
But the good ones I've seen
so seldom are clean -
and the clean ones so seldom are comical!

In which direction shall this thread go? (he asked, whistling innocently).

The limerick form is complex
Its contents run chiefly to sex.
It burgeons with virgins
And masculine urge-ons
And swarms with erotic effex!

There once was a maiden from Greece
whose eyes at the corners did crease
with laughing at postings
and wordcrafter hostings
and surely not poor Jason's fleece

There once was a girl from Nantucket....

ooops...can't use that one

The ladies adore Richard English.
(Morgan clearly is seeking a fling. Wish
you well.) But it's arnie
Whose wit, charm and blarney
Is making the women here tinglish!

I won a holiday to Greece some years ago when a travel company posted a very poor limerick and challenged its readers to do better. I can't remember their effort but I chided them in my submission as follows:

Your attempt at a Limerick rhyme
must surely get better with time.
The Limerick form
has five lines, not four
and the third and the fourth ought to rhyme!

I would make a similar point as regards the previous submission

Limericks have a very precise five-line structure with the first and second lines rhyming with the fifth while the third and the fourth rhyme separately with each other. No other form is acceptable.

Of course, this does present a challenge to composers since the first line signposts the fifth so clearly. However (and the Nantucket example above is one such) clever writers have managed to create verses where the final line "outwits" readers and thus makes the whole limerick even more enjoyable.

For example:

The was a young lady from Bude
who went for a swim in the nude.
A young man shouted "Yes!"
and I think I can guess
that you thought the last line would be rude.

Richard English

quote:

---

But it's arnie
Whose wit, charm and blarney
Is making the women here tinglish!

---

Hmm...

It's a strange feeling to find yourself as the punchline of a limerick. Flattered? Certainly. Surprised? Definitely.

There's arnie, shufitz, Bob, and Stan
Asa, wordnerd, Richard, and tinman
And don't forget Hic
But for this limerick
Nobody pleases like wordcrafter can!

There once was a guy called Wordcrafter
Whose essays, alas, just caused laughter
So he set up a site
So that other folks might
Post essays that were even dafter.

At a series of drama classes I attended recently we were set the task of writing some poetry. I responded by writing Limericks, each of which included the names of the students. So popular were the results that they were read out during the end-of-term concert.

The secret is to think of two rhymes for the final word of the first line, then the whole thing falls into place. Fortunately, when writing about a person, it's easy to use the old standby phrases "...There was a young lady..." or "...A strapping young fellow..." So we could select a name from the illustrious company here present - say Morgan (whom I deduce is a lady) and the first line immediately falls into place (as do the rest):

"A New York State lady called Morgan
delighted in playing the Organ.
The power it spells
Its throbs and its swells
(the conclusion it's music is foregone)"

Richard English

quote:

---

I would make a similar point as regards the previous submission


Richard English

---

Indeed, I would further suggest that form and four are not actually rhymes unless you wish to claim a defense of assonance. Perhaps the limerick might flow better if it read

Your attempt at a Limerick rhyme
must surely get better with time.
The Limerick form
Has five lines, and the norm
Is that third and the fourth ought to rhyme!

One of my own relating to a vegetarian friend who was nevertheless partial to seafood curries (and who I am sure won't mind being named here), was

John Rawlinson treated with scorn
Any food that had ever been born
He would simply not eat
A dish made with meat
Though he might stretch a point for a prawn.
...

si hoc legere scis nimium eruditiones habes

Read all about my travels around the world here.

Uhhhhh....Bob?

quote:

---

...with scorn
...been born
...
...
... a prawn.

scorn, born, prawn????

---

Your attempt at a Limerick rhyme
must surely get better with time.
The Limerick form
Has five lines, and the norm
Is the first two and the last ought to rhyme!

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel:
Uhhhhh....Bob?
_

---

Well, of course I haven't heard you speak so I can't say what your voice is like. I also don't know how to use my phonetic character set in a post so I can't post the phonetic versions of 'scorn', 'born' and 'prawn' but certainly in every accent I'm familiar with those three words rhyme.
'Prawn' is phonetically writen with the same vowel symbol and terminating consonant as both of the other words.
How do you pronounce 'prawn'.

si hoc legere scis nimium eruditiones habes

Read all about my travels around the world here.

muse: "It burgeons with virgins / And masculine urge-ons / And swarms with erotic effex!"

The state of Utah in this country was settled by the Mormons, who came there under the leadership of Brigham Young.

Brigham Young never was neuter,
Monogamamous, shy, or a fruiter.
Where ten thousand virgins
Succumbed to his urgin's
We now have the Great State of Utah.

On the "born, scorn" rhyme:

There once was a man from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born
(Which he wouldn't have been
If his mother had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn).

>> ""A New York State lady called Morgan" ... etc.

Incredible, Richard! My sides are splitting.

Quote

"Indeed, I would further suggest that form and four are not actually rhymes"

I know they're not! And neither were those in the Limerick that the holiday company had submitted. My incorrect rhyming was to emphasise the point by showing literally the result of incorrect construction.

Maybe I was trying to be too clever!

Richard English

Since nobody has commented upon my "deadly cuco." Limerick I have to assume that you all found it simple to interpret. So how about this one (I suspect that it will be only UK readers who can interpret it)

There was a young lady from Salisbury
whose manners were Halisbury-Scalisbury.
She travelled round Hampshire
without any Pampshire
'cos she couldn't be bothered to Walisbury

Richard English

Concerning that lady from Salisbury:
Have you yet made her part of your Halisbury?
(Richard succumbs
To the charm of her bums,
Whenever she chances to Balisbury.)

It's men with that lady from Salisbury -
she acts in that way just to scalisbury!
Since a blicester from Bicester
went off with her sicester
and now they're both living in Faresbury.

Richard English

Anonymous:

There was an old party of Lyme
Who married three wives at one time.
When asked: "Why the third?"
He replied: "One's absurd,
And bigamy, Sir, is a crime."