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Anybody had a good paroxysm lately? Login/Join
 
<Asa Lovejoy>
posted
While researching the history of mechanical massagers (There, is that better, Bob?)I came across the term, "female paroxysm" as an archaic euphamism for orgasm. I'd always thought of a paroxysm as an ailment, or perhaps metaphorically a positive thing, as in a paroxysm of laughter. I've not even seen the word in print for a decade, so I'm wondering whether it's now considered obsolete. Is it still used medically?

[This message was edited by Asa Lovejoy on Sat Jul 12th, 2003 at 7:13.]
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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Actually, Asa, I think so. I don't have a source for it or anything, but I vaguely remember hearing the term.

Funny, it reminds me of a Texas law I read about last week: owning 6 dildos is a felony!
 
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Picture of jerry thomas
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Inquiring minds, wanting to know,
Attended the pastry chefs' show.
"To make pickle bread,"
The old baker said,
"First, you knead a dill dough."
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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First, you knead a dill dough
---------------------------------
Many years ago a radio announcer, advertising a tonic, intended to ask, "Ladies does your husband wake up dull and listless?" but in fine Spoonerism fashion, he asked, "...Does your husband wake up dill and lustless?" Eek Ah, good old live broadcasts, or broads cast, or...
 
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Picture of C J Strolin
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
Funny, it reminds me of a Texas law I read about last week: owning 6 dildos is a _felony_!

I firmly believe it was right, some 150 years ago, for the North to battle the South in order to preserve the union. That having been said, however, I do also strongly suspect that we might be better off kicking out individual states.

(Maybe we could claim knowledge of weapons of mass destruction?)
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Maybe we could claim knowledge of weapons of mass destruction?
------------------------------------------------
CJ, if you own more than six dildos, you'll be jailed for possessing weapons of mass seduction.

I understand the curved dildo was invented by Ima G. Spott.
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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I thought the funniest part was that if you owned five dildos, you were home free. Of course, my lawyerly husband explained that perhaps they thought with six there was an intent to distribute!
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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I heard about that Texas women's country music group who recently got in trouble for a political statement about strap-ons. It was the Chixie Dicks.
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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I have 2 business trips planned to Texas this fall. I think I'll bring 6 dildos with me just to have a little excitement (with the law, that is!) I wonder what our unpredicatable Supreme Court justices would do with this one! Roll Eyes
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Since you are a medcical professional, you'll have no problem. Remember, the vibrator was invented to relieve hysteria in women. Or you could just tell them good ol' boys how they's seismograph testing devices to calibrate the machines used in oil exploration.
 
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Have you read about Texas lately, Asa? I think I'd be put on death row! Eek
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Have you read about Texas lately, Asa? I think I'd be put on death row!
________________________________________________

Texas isn't all bad. Molly Ivins is one, as is Jim Hightower, and Bill Moyers. It's just gotten a bum rap from certain other ones.
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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PS: Dubya ain't even a Texan. He's a damnyankee carpetbagger from New Haven CT!
 
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Picture of Richard English
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I went to the Texas stand at the World Travel Market and was accosted by a large man in a large hat who offered me a (small) glass of beer. I told him that I didn't care for American beer.

"This ain't American beer", he said, This here's Texan beer!"

So I drunk it.

Horrible, fizzy, tasteless, yellow, weak, chemical muck - just like almost all American beers once were!

It was a good job it was a US-sized glass and not a UK-sized one so I didn't have so much to force down!

Richard English
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh (July 5):
Funny, it reminds me of a Texas law I read about last week: owning 6 dildos is a felony!

I just read that the penalty for first-time offenders for distributing in Georgia is $10,000 and a year in jail or hard labor. No, not for distributing drugs, but for distributing vibrators or dildos!

The same article said that fornication - sex between unmarried couples - was still illegal in Idaho, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia and Washington, D.C. The penalty can be up to $300 and 6 months in jail in Idaho.

Tinman
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Idaho, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia and
Washington, D.C.
____________________________________________
So how cum they got them there condom machines in so many of their rest rooms? Entrapment of more than your bodily fluids, perhaps?
 
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Picture of shufitz
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quote:
Kalleh: "Funny, it reminds me of a Texas law I read about last week: owning 6 dildos is a felony!"
Kalleh: "I thought the funniest part was that if you owned five dildos, you were home free."


I doubt five or fewer would leave you "home free." My bet is that it would simply be a misdemeanor rather than a felony.
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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it would simply be a
misdemeanor
____________________________________________
It would make the miss de happier, but since rednecks don't like happy women, it's illegal.
 
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Picture of C J Strolin
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quote:
Originally posted by Richard English:
So I drunk it.


You "drunk" it, did you? Is that a Britishism or is that possibly the beer speaking? (This isn't sarcasm on my part [well, not much, anyway] since over here we would say "I drank it" and, possibly, became drunk as a result.)


And, Tinman, excellent article there!
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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first-time offenders for distributing in Georgia is $10,000 and a year in jail or hard labor
Am I completely nuts???? I really cannot understand the "intent to distribute" with dildos. What in the world is the problem with that?
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Tinman sites the Capiton Hill Blue article by D. Murdock: Under Massachusetts law, an unmarried
heterosexual couple that "commits fornication shall be punished by
imprisonment for not more than three months or by a fine of not more
than thirty dollars." If the same man and women left Boston and slept
together in Boise, they could face "a fine of not more than $300 or
imprisonment for not more than six (6) months" under Idaho law.

Hmmm... Somewhere between Boston and Boise our intrepid boy started banging a bevy of babes, not just one, thus adding polygamy to his "crimes"! Wink
 
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Just wondering what Kalleh got for her birthday from shu.
 
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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Just wondering what Kalleh got for her birthday from shu.
_______________________
I heard it was prophylactics stuffed with breath fresheners, to be used to enliven main dishes. You know, condom-mints.
 
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While researching the history of mechanical massagers (There, is that better, Bob?)

Laughing here! Do you know that "BOB" is another euphemism for the topic at hand?

Battery Opperated Boyfriend Red Face Razz Big Grin
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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quote:
Just wondering what Kalleh got for her birthday from shu.
Shu was very sweet on my birthday....and no dildos. Wink

However, if Shu doesn't post a birthday greeting here, I just may delete the double dactyl, which I worked quite hard on, from his birthday greetings! Mad

[It isn't always easy having a mate on this forum, is it Shu?]
 
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Picture of Richard English
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Apart, of course, from the sexual discrimination implicit in this term, is there not also a danger that anyone called Bob will have his emails thrown out by the net ninny-nanny?

Richard English
 
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