The pain you suffer from a witch's curse is hexagonal.

The witch's curse that turns you into a snake is hexasperation.
The one that makes you instantly combust and die is hexpyration.

If a witch says "Damn you", that's a hexpletive.

If a witch wants to send you a potion quickly, she sends it Federal Hexpress.

If a witch puts a death curse on you, do you hexpire?

A curse n Tippi is a hexahedron.

Five witches in a coven is a hexagon.

On the interstate, just for witches, there's an hextoll booth.

One beautiful but workaholic witch was tossed out for being over-hexed.

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The housing situation is bad enough. But farmers, who are having their proerty foreclosed, are becoming very distracted.

Pauly, on the Jersey Shores is giving lectures on ethics, so more and more people are becoming demoralized.

Terrible accident at the local hospital: A man was mistakenly taken in for a sex change. By the time doctors realized their error, the man was totally disorganized.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
Terrible accident at the local hospital: A man was mistakenly taken in for a sex change. By the time doctors realized their error, the man was totally disorganized.

Oh my. I hope they can redictate the problem

I think they have to ridiculous. (redic u loss)

If you fall out of bed, are you debunked?

Mr. Coin Collector, do you have any special pennies? No, we only have common cents.

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The young fellow had lost one ear in the War. He still had acute hearing disirregardless (dis-ear-regardless)

"One of the Great Lakes is undefended" said Tom irregardlessly.

If there's only one mouse without a squeak, is it unique?

A unique is a squeakless, organless mouse.

If an employee of the United Nations goes missing, is he UNACCOUNTED-FOR? Does that then mean the UN knows where he is? My head hurts.

If you scatter people from Iran is it didPersian?

When they killed Dracula, vampires everywhere were discounted.

When everyone leaves a meeting, are they disassembled?

I have a buffalo in my living room. I think it's deranged.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
I have a buffalo in my living room. I think it's deranged.

Or you are.
Show me a home where the buffalo roam and I'll show you a messy house!

It's a little-known fact that only Two Wise Men particpated at Christmas. The third couldn't find a present so he demurred.

Oh, that's myrrhvellous!

When W. K. Kellog's fired the tiger who used to grace its sugary corn flakes, they began suffering from dysTonia

When the new (or old) president takes office in January he will appoint new Cabinet members and disappoint others.

Nice one Proof.

When Alice ate the next mushroom she was disambiguated

The feds distilled the moonshiners.

quote:

The feds distilled the moonshiners.

They then moved on and re-booted.

To escape the revenue-ers?

Some of the partygoers piled into a van with Bob, which broke down; they arrived dis-'cum'-Bob-u-lated...

When the judge threw out my court case he told me I was distorted.

DeGeneres is involved with De Rossi dis-pro-Portia-nately

Huh?

quote:

Huh?

Thought it would be self explanatory for anyone in the US of A, but for everyone else's benenfit, Ellen DeGeneres's love interest is "Portia" De Rossi.

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When the Knights Templar got the axe, they were DeMolayed.

If you don't pay the madam, she removes your sex organ to make sure you're delayed.

quote:

Originally posted by Greg S:
Ellen Deneres's love interest is "Portia" De Rossi.

Who are they?

Ellen DeGeneres is the host of the most popular day-time TV Show in the US. Portia De Rossi is her partner and a not particularly well-known former Aussie actress.

Thre are plans afoot to fill in the Grand Canyon with the countrys excess garbage. It seems we are about to be disgorged.

When the waiters tossed me out of the restaurant, they did me a great disservice.

I always wondered: If you are drunk [inebriated), when you're sober are you unebriated?

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quote:

I always wondered: If you are drunk [inebriated), when you're sober are you unebriated?

No just longing for the next drink (misebriated)

If you get so drunk that you fall and scrape off skin, then you are debrieated.
Or does that mean 'missing cheese'?

Ewliss had his male appendage chopped off but doctors say they can re-attach it. That would be ridiculous.

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Someone unfolded my beloved origami dragon, so I had to replicate it.

If your pistol breaks, is it now a devolver?

They took away my podiatrist license, so I'm defeated. They cancelled my banquet, so I'm doubly de-feted.

Well I win because I've been de-feeted because I'm a double amputee - actually I think that means I lose.

quote:

I always wondered: If you are drunk inebriated, when you're sober are you unebriated?

No - surely you are simply ebriated when sober?

Yestarday I was debriefed? But the day before I was briefed, does that mean they tampered with my memory so I no longer had that brief or did that just take away my briefcase?

Today I had some revolutionary surgery and they have now reattached my amputated feet. So I am now undefeeted, and that surely makes me a big winner.

Before I met my wife I was looking pretty dishevelled, but she whipped me into shape and now I look pretty damned hevelled.

Hey Proof - thanks for reawakening the joys of this game.

If, during a battle, your forces envelop the enemy but they slip away, are they now veloped?

If, while in battle, your forces envelop the enemy but they slip away, are they now veloped?

Similarly, a letter written on paper is placed inside an envelope, so shouldn't a note written on a post card be called a velope?

Given that, in slang, a punch to the jaw is a haymaker, shouldn't a hit to the groin be called a pork chop?

One would think that being in costume means you'd be guised, while taking it off makes you disguised. Apparently not.

debunk: to forcibly remove from sleeping accommodations.

defrost: what the North hopes will be accomplished before next October.

debris: to cancel a Jewish ceremony.

defile: toss out papers

demise: to change from Scrooge-like to Gates-like.