after sampling world-class salsa at the corrida: DIPOLE

[I know it's a stretch, but would you have preferred "The Pope and his brother" or "The Pope changing his hair color"? ]

What do you say when you want the pope to get out of bed? polarize

The locker where he keeps his valuable stuff = pole vault.

If he had fleas, would they be politics?

No, politics is what infests parrots. That's the reason they're always pecking at their feathers, right? When they're not requesting crackers.

Now that I think of it, politics would be grimaces he might display during sermons.

The answer is curmudgeon. The question is: What do you get if you drop a safe on a bad dog?

What do you have to do if you fall into an outhouse? Get deterred.

If they ever drafted Bigfoot, could he possibly get deferred?

quote:

What do you have to do if you fall into an outhouse? Get deterred.

And if you are dug out of that dark hole are you disinterred?

There once was a man named McBride
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
His brother, the twit,
Dived into the shit
And now they're interred side by side.

quote:

And now they're interred

Great pun!

Can't claim it as my own. Heard it a long time ago.

To sack the boss of a TV company: to degrade.

That will only make some sort of sense to UK members, so Wikipedia comes in handy.

Once a celebrity is no longer in the public eye, they are defamed.

Some school administrations have rules forbidding cursing so the kids have been de-f-u-sed.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

I'd like to have all you troops march smartly but some of you have lost decadence.

The silenced pig was disgruntled.

The silenced dog was disembarked.

The differential calculus was disintegrated.

When the censors hit the TV it became discussed.

The recently-worn trousers became depressed.

I don't know if it's true but supposedly Lazarus, by being raised from the dead, was exterminated.

Where you been, Stanley?

As children get older, their bikes tend to become destabilized.

To recapture someone is to deliberate.

If someone can no longer be attacked by Hannibal they are delectable.

After the removal of a hernia a patient usually becomes distrust.

Just ended up getting quite busy after Christmas, Proof - went on holiday in February, started learning bass guitar, started having driving lessons again ... didn't get around to logging in here for a while! Not much changed while I was gone, I hope?

When the consultant cancelled their meeting, he suffered disappointment.

When the Librarian tried to keep the noise level down, it was DISALLOWED.

quote:

Originally posted by arnie:
To sack the boss of a TV company: to degrade.

That will only make some sort of sense to UK members, so Wikipedia comes in handy.

In fact, he hasn't been sacked, but he "is to step down". In short, he was regraded. Maybe a retrograde step?

Found the way to eliminate the fog in London? You're DISMISSED!

When an company no longer exists, they have a disco, unless it happens to be a certain famous organization for nuclear research, in which case it's discern.

Also, there was a seventeenth century French philosopher called René Leblanc, who was notorious for pranking everyone by secretly unplugging all their AV equipment, which earned him the nickname Descartes.

An angler, experiencing "the one that got away", will find that his hook has been debated.

All the clowns are on strike, so the circus has been defunded.

If a female deer was part of a Chinese food dish, would they call it domain?

North Korea has threatened to fire a female deer in their rocket, making that the world's first domicile.

You have something in your eye? Let me demote it.

I don't like this chess opening. Can I deploy?

I love to play chess. It's my joy
But I just like to win. Now, oh boy!
Since the opening I use
Is now certain to lose,
Can I take back my moves and deploy?

Since Proofreader is a big outhouse fan, this for him: Disinterred: Being removed from an outhouse basement

That preacher is really energetic and he says if I believe in him and his god, I too will dynamo.

Yes, that preacher has been charged with galvanizing his flock.

quote:

charged with galvanizing his flock.

I cannot decide if that the worst pun I've ever heard so I propose we all volt on it.

Volta was an electrolyte proselyte. No telling what Galvani was, especially with gals.

A highly-charged guy named Galvani
Announced that he had a sex plan. He
Would give a great shock
To a girl down the block
And then screw her once she’s on her fanny.

A highly-charged guy named Galvani
Had an electric dildo uncanny
It was hot, it was long,
And vibrated, this schlong,
And it pleased all the girls except Fanny
who preferred the old-fashioned variety
that was provided most willingly by Galvani's
hunchbacked assistant, Igor, who used
Galvani's electric dildo to stir his coffee.

Good to the very last drop.

Remember the coffee commercials featuring Juan Valdez? He used to sell "mount 'n groan"

I hope he married that donkey.

That was Sancho Panza - married Donkey Xote.

BTW, Proofreader, I just found this on-line news headline: About That New Jersey Organ Scandal
http://online.wsj.com/article/...l?mod=googlenews_wsj You been caught flashing again?

There must be no shortage of organ parts if five rabbis are involved.

Oops, you're in Rhode Island, not NJ. Stupid mistake on my part. Of course you COULD go to NJ and...

Mr. Johnson, the actor made our couch his death bed.
"What's my prognosis/" he asked the doctor.
"Divan."

During this hurricane season, some strong storms may threaten the mainland. However, if they hit cool water, they may become disgusted.

My brother's cheap radio had an awful sound. I aked him to turn it off because destiny.

When Lewis and Clark went west, they were exploring. But when they turned around and headed east, were they deploring?

I think it's false advertising that Terminix doesn't fix computers since they promise to debug your house.

If you reject thinking, are you dispensed?

The Mayans had a way of making all their captives disheartened.

When Bernie Madoff goes to bed, do you think he's conjoined?

quote:

If you reject thinking, are you dispensed?

That's what happened when England went to the Euro.

quote:

That's what happened when England went to the Euro.

You could say that about Ireland, but not England. We've still got our pounds and pence.

Pence? We've got ours too, but she's not worth much: http://www.caprialandjohnskitc...about/about_bio.html