There are too many women on this website. Looks like we'll have to regent.

I remember a gourmand remembering his favorite meals of bygone days with a repast.

The hurricane turned 180 degrees and is about to regale us.

defiler: a piss-poor archivist

If a girl douches after sex, is that dissemination?

The fans were disappointed that their captain had resigned over a pay dispute, but they were happy that their star player had resigned for another three seasons.

The defendant claimed he had not approved the design, but the prosecutor proved that he had because the document was so poorly designed.

Mr. Bradshaw, the former football player and sports announcer, had gotten too old for TV execs sho they plan to dysentery.

Forget that one. It's crap.

Yeah, Proof, and the infectious deseases hotline has cholera ID.

Can you tell me how much this dollar is worth? Dissent.

I thought that was Brooklynese for 'this penny'

Eggzaklly

I'm not babysitting any longer. As far as I'm concerned, your kid is distended.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
I'm not babysitting any longer. As far as I'm concerned, your kid is distended.

Is that a synonym for tumescent? Must have been a cute babysitter!

If a beaver strips a tree of its covering is it disembarked?

The most famous beaver in San Francisco was the one who disembarcadero.

Depressurize does NOT mean "to look down."

...no more than a Debit card is one you take to the dentist to have your teeth removed, prepaid

(nor, for that matter, to the hardware store to have your rusty electric drill fixed)

In the same way to debug someone is to stop annoying them.

Is one's determination one's rehiring after being fired?

quote:

Depressurize does NOT mean "to look down."

So Proof, does is mean to remove your fingers from your eyelids?

Does defender mean to remove fenders?

If I am mistaken about the meaning of defender, then perhaps he is one who fends off attackers, so when he defends he must surely let them through to score.

If you are on defense you probably aren't sure where you're playing, but you probably don't want to be offensive.

Have you been defined when the parking officer tears up your ticket?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

I find it very easy to detach most things but I've never learned how to tach.

I expected her to be upset, but I didn't expect her to get the cops to lay charges, when I told her I had defiled her daughter. She was even more annoyed after they let me off, when I showed them her daughter's file. When I explained to the mother that I was just trying to help her daughter who had failed and that I detested her, that didn't go down too well either.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

quote:

I find it very easy to detach most things but I've never learned how to tach.

I know what you mean. I know how to deceive, so I assume to ceive is to be honest, and to receive is to be honest again.

A receiver is someone even more honest.

Are exhumation and decryption one and the same?

Is exterior a dead dog show winner?

As likely as to expose is to relax.

They stopped making ammunition of the size my gun needs, so I had to beat it into a sword.
I think I'll call it EXCALIBUR.

My wife's hair is turning gray. I guess it's on its way to extinction.

The Russian government is fussing about what they'll do when Vladimir leaves. They're DisPutin.

If that's the case, the recent train crash in Tel Aviv could be blamed on Disraeli.

Did you Tel Aviv? He's too Haifa-lootin' for me to kibbutz with.

Our parking lot was in bad shape, so we retard it.

Here in PC Portland we academically challenge our parking lots. And, being a city of bicyclists, we consider parking lots to be Jurassic Parking.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

If you're kicked out of the military academy, are you disappointed?

If a priapic bartender leaves his post to get rid of his tumescence, is it distended?

Oh, re military academies, did you know that Robert E. Lee was commandant of West Point when the (un) Civil War broke out? And U.S. Grant was his student who graduated near the bottom of his class? History is weird!

Whar will ah fin' Simon Legree? displantation is whar he be.

That's a real word, folks, according to OEDILF.

If your eyes twitch after you awaken, is that a REMnant?

If the last thing you saw last night was Tina Turner, and the first thing you saw this morning was Tina Turner, that's a retina.

If you become a minister but are defrocked, then you are allowed once more to preach, is that a revocation?

Once a divorced couple has remarried, have they been departed?

The Beatles were once the greatest Rock 'n' Roll band in the world, but then they deformed.

If you allow someone to perform an action but then refuse that permission, have they been deleted?

And if you iron all the folds out of a pleated garment, has it been depleted?

1. When the hillbilly took the smell out of the skunk, that was mighty DECENT of him.

2. When the millionaire took every last penny out of the bank, that was...

3. When the mail carrier took all the presents from the Post Office and returned them, that was...

4. When Moses brought the Ten Commandments down from Mount Sinai, that was...

I wish the perfumey old woman next to me on the bus would descent.

My wife refuses to let me swear, so I'll discuss it.

No Mulligans, no do-overs on the greens at my golf course. Naturally, I consider that's disreputable.

Ah! Golf. Many the time I remember shanking a shot into the sand and having to debunk.

A missed catch in Cricket or Baseball leaves the Batsman or Batter not out but when the catch is taken, he is dismissed.

I though DISMISSED was when the fog blew away. (Or was it the father whose last daughter got married?)