While other websites may seem chillier
Or more thoughtful or ruder or sillier,
We're not best, nor the worst,
But let me be the first
To welcome newcomer V. Hillier!
I see Wordcrafter #131 is a Canadian teacher. Excellent! For your first assignment, we would like a double dactyl on the subject of your choice in the appropriate thread by Monday. Remember, neatness counts.
You are in the mood, aren't you? That really is very good! "Hillier" is so much easier than "aput," though!
By way of explanation since, to the best of my knowledge, he/she still hasn't posted, when I came up the other day I saw, listed on the bottom of the screen, something along the lines of "4 members on line: Bob Hale, C J Strolin, Kalleh, V. Hillier" and so composed that little bit of doggerel as a welcome. By the time I had posted it, he/she* had disappeared. Anyone know anything about our newest Wordcrafter?
*(And by this term I mean, of course, that I can't determine V's gender just by that initial alone. I didn't mean to suggest that we had a hermaphrodite joining us.**)
**(Not that there's anything wrong with that.***)
***(That was my Jerry Seinfeld impression again...)
...can we do something with "a teacher from Canada"?
There once was a teacher from Canada
Who habitually had his hand on da
Sweet tush of his ladies;
Let's send him to Hades,
And teach him the use of a fan...ta dah!
Not bad for a C+'er!
Seeing this nice welcome here to newcomer V. Hillier, I sent her an e-mail alerting her to your posts.
First off, Kalleh.... Ah, no. Don't think so. The problem is largely with "Canada" as a rhyme. I enjoy imaginative rhymes but "fan. ta dah"??
And Sarah, how do you know V. is female? I don't recall her gender being mentioned in her bio (for that short time it was available) although the "V," of course, does suggest cleavage so maybe that's it.
A teacher from southern Ontario
Once fixed up a sexy scenario.
She invited a man
To the back of her van.
(The poor guy did not have a prayer-io!)
Oh go suck an egg, CJ. I liked mine. Besides, you didn't meet Hab's challenge.
Somehow you are allowed dispensations that I am not allowed. Surely the entire "Canada" doesn't have to be rhymed. If you can't used your imagination for "fan ta dah," then at least the "da" in Canada and the "dah" rhyme. Frankly, that is the beauty of it. I agreed with your other criticism, but not this one.
Egg duly sucked, thank you very much.
I did rise to Hab's challenge, I simply specified a section of Canada. If you're going to get nit-picky about it, how about:
A teacher from Canada's here
On the Wordcrafter board we hold dear.
Let's hope that she'll post
On the things she loves most
From apostrophes to Canadian beer.
(OK, maybe not so much on the beer...)
Actually, the teacher from Canada isn't here at all except for that brief period a few days ago. Anyone know what happened with her?
Or, if you absolutely insist on a "Canada" rhyme:
Though you may think you're accident prone,
You problem is not luck alone.
When a teacher from Canada
Slipped on a banana the
Fault was entirely her own!
(Heh, heh! Heh, heh, heh! Damn, I'm good!)
So...uh..."banana the" and "Canada" work for you, but "fan ta dah" and "Canada" don't for me? What a faker!
Once again the great God of Hubris jumps up to bite me on the butt! No sooner to I Heh-heh-heh and post the above than I notice the obvious typo ("you problem" should, of course, be "your problem") but (BUT!!!) the little icon which normally allows me to edit my posts is missing for some reason. What gives?
Yes, yes, I know. It serves me right for Heh-heh-heh-ing, a serious character flaw which I really should address.
Don't make me get my crown out of mothballs!
Actually that deserves more of an answer.
Yes K., with all due respect, while I admit that it is just a bit of a stretch, I do believe that "banana the" does work while "fan... ta dah," ...well, not so much. Another very strong "A" for effort but the difference lies in the flow of each piece.
"Fan... ta dah" would be a fine rhyme for "Canada" if that country were pronounced "CAN... (pause) A-DAH." The word "fan" ends your final sentence and you then must pause briefly before awarding yourself that final "Ta-dah" (which, if I were to be excruciatingly pedantic, would actually be spelled "Tah-Dah," but, ever regal, I'll let it slide) which is what hinders the final rhyme. Note that I said "hinders" the final rhyme and not "ruins," "blows," "defeats," or whatever.
On the other hand, "When a teacher from Canada slipped on a banana the fault was entirely her own!" can be spoken in one smooth string in a way (Dare I boast? I dare, I dare!) that displays what could be taken as a strong Tom Lehrer influence. It shines! It glimmers!!
So Kalleh, I'm tempted to toss this directly into your hubby's lap for arbitration but, knowing Shufitz as I think I do, I'd be willing to bet he would see both of our efforts as sub-par. He'd be wrong of course but there you have it.
Maybe he'd prefer something along the lines of:
Knives on Their Feet, Clubs in Their Hands...
(And They Say Americans are Violent!)
Are not as num'rous as
Maybe you'd think.
Rather than here they are
More often found at an
Ice hockey rink.
(DingDingDingDingDingDing!!! We have a Win-ah!!)
quote:Or, so you say.
Okay, I admit it; your limericks are better than mine. However, I did think "hand on da" was good.
Teach kids to learn.
Wordcrafters welcome their
Posts on our forum, so
Let those keys burn!
Ahem! Note the two 6-syllable words!
[This message was edited by Kalleh on Wed Mar 3rd, 2004 at 13:35.]
Yes, "hand on da" was fine and your DD is first rate. My initial reaction was to jump up and critique it harshly as having one too many 6-syllable lines, a clear violation of the rulesrulesrulesrules, but I let it pass. Just not feeling feisty today, I suppose.
Also, just for the sake of arguing with myself, I'll be magnanimous and take off a few points for the slightly tortured first syllable pronunciation of "enthusiastically" in my DD. Knowing how this format is supposed to go, it's easy enough to lapse right in to "EN-thu-si-AS-tic-ly" but, to be perfectly honest, it's a bit of a cheat.
And an odd sidenote: While composing my alternative Canada limerick and looking for rhymes for "the," rhymezone.com suggested "depardieu"!! Maybe it's my total lack of a French background but I don't think so!
And one last time, whatever happened to "V. Hillier"??
Yeah, I want to know what happened to V. Hillier, too! After all this, I would have expected at least a "Hi!"
Of course a double dactyl can have as many as six 6-syllable words, as long as they have the correct meter. There is absolutely no rule about having too many 6-syllable words; you have to have at least one.
As for your DD, I found num'rous problems, King. I didn't even mind "enthusiastically." However, "num'rous" doesn't work. And, I didn't like the meter of: "Rather than here they are." Yet, as usual it was quite clever, as (though I hate to admit it because you annoy me sometimes ) you really are very talented.
"Num'rous" directs the normally 3-syllable NOO-mur-us to be pronounced NOO-mrus which is not that much of a stretch. Many people pronounce it just that way.
And what's wrong with "RA-ther than HERE they are"?
How's this for a new word coinage to describe a situation where much is done for someone who seems not to appreciate the effort. The scene would be, of course, "hillierific."
quote:Because V. Hillier posted that she/he was a teacher, I assumed him/her to be female. My sexist mistake!