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What a great retort!

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May 31, 2009, 21:43
Kalleh
What a great retort!
In the Tribune today, a reader asked this question:
quote:
I'm in a huge rush every morning to catch my train, and parking's at a premium. So I get angry when I pull up to an empty space, only to realize it's empty because someone has parked his or her SUV right on or over the yellow line, making the space too narrow for anyone else. I'd like to leave the person a note asking him to consider others when he parks. If I could think up just the right comment, I'd make copies for future use. Any thoughts on "just the right comment"?
Wow...did I love the response!
quote:
Your Majesty,

Please accept my humble apologies for presuming to think I might use the parking space next to yours. Your needs, of course, are paramount, and in the future I shan't even drive down the same row your vehicle occupies. (As I place this message, I am averting my eyes.) That you need so versatile and large a chariot is beyond contest: It is well-known that you once traversed a dirt path for almost 500 meters, and the size of the royal family is legend throughout the land. Your vehicle deserves all the space it takes up. It probably even deserves one of those primo handicapped spots right up front, because it must be a nearly unbearable handicap to have to share the earth with those of us who hold to antiquated notions such as "Fair is fair," "Right is right" and "Stop being such a steaming bucket of chum, my liege."

Your loyal subject
I can't imagine a better one. I feel like printing out a few and having them ready to place on the windshield of the next parking hog who irritates me.
June 01, 2009, 18:39
<Asa Lovejoy>
Nah, just back in so you make it utterly impossible for the oaf to get HIS door open, whereas yours is accessible, and find someone who'll do the same on the other side.
After all, sometimes actions speak louder than words.
June 02, 2009, 20:15
Kalleh
Yep, that would work, too. Big Grin