Relevant to a comment here:

DIRGE
TO THE MEMORY OF MISS ELLEN GEE, OF KEW,
Who died in consequence of being stung in the eye.

Peerless, yet hapless maid of Q!
Accomplish'd LN G!
Never again shall I and U
Together sip our T.

For, ah! the Fates, I know not Y,
Sent midst the flowers a B,
Which ven'mous stung her in the I,
So that she could not C.

LN exclaim'd, "Vile, spiteful B!
If ever I catch U
On jess'mine, rosebud, or sweet P,
I'll change your stinging Q.

"I'll send you, like a lamb or U,
Across the Atlantic C,
From our delightful village Q,
To distant OYE.

"A stream runs from my wounded I,
Salt as the briny C,
As rapid as the X or Y,
The OIO, or D.

"Then fare thee ill, insensate B!
Who stung, nor yet knew Y;
Since not for wealthy Durham's C
Would I have lost my I."

They bear with tears fair LN G
In funeral RA,
A clay-cold corpse now doom'd to B,
Whilst I mourn her DK.

Ye nymphs of Q, then shun each B,
List to the reason Y!
For should a B C U at T,
He'll surely sting your I.

Now in a grave, L deep in Q,
She's cold as cold can B;
Whilst robins sing upon A U,
Her dirge and LEG.

(Anonymous, in the 1800s)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hic et ubique,

While googling up the poem above, I stumbled across a few others of the same sort. Is it of interest?

I'd love to see some more. They would have been good text writers in the 1800s!

Those outside the US may not fully appreciate this one, so let me explain that every abbreviation is the name of a US state.

In the State of Mass.. . . . . . . . . . . . Massachusetts
There lives a lass,
. . .I love to go N. C.. . . . . . . . . . . . North Carolina
No other Miss. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Mississippi
Can e'er I Wis.,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wisconsin
. . .Be half so dear to Me.. . . . . . . . .Maine
R. I. is blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rhode Island
And her cheeks the hue
. . .Of shells where waters swash;
On her pink-white phiz.
There Nev. Ariz.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nevada; Arizona
. . .The least complexion Wash.. . . . Washington
La.! could I win. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Louisiana
The heart of Minn.,. . . . . . . . . . . . . Minnesota
. . .I'd ask for nothing more,
But I only dream
Upon the theme
. . .And Conn. it o'er and Ore.. . . . . .Connecticut; Oregon
Why is it, pray,
I can't Ala.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alabama
. . .This love that makes me Ill.?. . . .Illinois
N. Y., O., Wy.,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .New York; Ohio; Wyoming
Kan. Nev. Ver. I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kansas; Nevada; Vermont
. . .Propose to her my will?
I shun the task
'Twould be to ask
. . .This gentle maid to wed.
And so, to press
My suit, I guess,
. . .Alaska Pa. instead.. . . . . . . . . . . Alaska; Pennsylvania
Anonymous

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hic et ubique,

Very nice.

It reminds me of a limerick I've been workshopping over on OEDILF by a PGS who is from Germany:

"Would bn to see more on the screen.
That BN-rating has been
Grossly wrong," he went on,
"They show bear hugs in BN,
Bn one piece of skin's to be seen!"

BN = be nice, brief nudity, Bonn, but not

During the second half of the 20th century, fully dressed elder statesmen were often seen bear hugging on TV, especially so, when Eastern Block politicians were meeting with their West German counterparts at our post-war capital, Bonn.

Here's a short one that you could use as a get-well card.

Im in a 10der mood to-day
& feel poetic, 2;
4 fun I'll just –– off a line. . . . . . . . . .dash
& send it off 2 U.
I'm sorry you've been 6 O long; . . . . . sick so
Don't B disconsol8;
But bear your ills with 42de,. . . . . . . .fortitude
& they won't seem so gr8.

Let others talk of LN's eyes,. . . . . . . . . . .Ellen's
And KT's figure light and free,. . . . . . . . . Katy's
Say LR, too, is beautiful – . . . . . . . . . . . .Elenor (L and R)
I heed them not when U I C. . . . . . . . . . .you I see.
U need not NV them, for U. . . . . . . . . . . .envy
XL them all, my MLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . excel; Emily
I have no word when I would tell
How much in love with U I B. . . . . . . . . . .you I be
So sweet U R, my DRE,. . . . . . . . . . . . . .you are; de-arie
I love your very FEG;. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . effigy
And when you speak or sing, your voice
Is like a winsome LOD. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .wineso(m)elody
When U R IC, hope DK's. . . . . . . . . . . . . icy; decays
I am a mere non-NTT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . non-entity
Such FEKC has your smile,. . . . . . . . . . . efficacy
It shields from NE NME. . . . . . . . . . . . . . any enemy
For love so deep as mine, I fear,
There is no other MED. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .othe(r)emedy
But that you love me back again ––
O, thought of Heavenly XTC;. . . . . . . . . .ecstacy
So, lest my MT heart and I. . . . . . . . . . . empty
Should sing for love an LEG,. . . . . . . . . . elegy
T's me no more –– B Y's, B kind,. . . . . . .be wise, be kind
O, MLE, U R, I C!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O Emily, you are, I see!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hic et ubique,