And the contenders are<BR><BR>1.<BR>Pele went to windy Xi-an,<BR>and desperately needed the can.<BR>He wasn't discreet -<BR>he went in the street,<BR>and that's when the shit hit the fan.<BR><BR>2.<BR>There once was a youth from Xi-an<BR>Who wanted to be a free man.<BR>To Tiananmen Square<BR>He ventured but there<BR>He, from a shooting spree, ran.<BR><BR>3.<BR>In a village not far from Xi-an<BR>Tiny Kai is the only free man<BR>"What luck," says maid Meifen<BR>Whose very low hymen<BR>Can accommodate this gent's wee span<BR><BR>4.<BR>There once was a woman, Deanne<BR>Who lived in the city Xi-An.<BR>An American beauty,<BR>I so loved that cutie!<BR>But "Rejection's" the name of this man!<BR><BR>5.<BR>Go New York- London-Paris-Milan-<BR>Damascus, then Tokyo, Japan.<BR>Fly near to Formosa<BR>But don’t get much closa,<BR>Or they won’t let you visit Xi An.<BR><BR>6.<BR>If you're hungry and wanting your tea, Anne,<BR>You must wait 'till our train gets to Xian.<BR>You might think that's sad,<BR>But I am still your dad,<BR>And for now you must listen to me, Anne.<BR><BR>7.<BR>A randy young girl from Japan<BR>Decided to go to Xian.<BR>Her aim? To discover<BR>A young Chinese lover.<BR>Who was more than a flesh in her pan.<BR><BR>8.<BR>I once knew a woman, Leanne<BR>Who grew up in the crowded Xi-An.<BR>She spoke in Chinese<BR>And WAS quite a tease,<BR>And her preference was for a He-Man!<BR><BR><BR>What should have been the easiest word EVER was made considerable harder by people insisting on rhyming the first, unstressed, syllable. Thank goodness I didn't choose something longer!Votes please.12.3.4.5.6.7.8

MORE
VOTES
PLEASE

I've voted three times but it won't register any more.

I voted for Richard's so he wouldn't have to.

I didn't realise my work was so identifiable

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
I've voted three times but it won't register any more.

I didn't realise we could vote more than once.

We can't.

quote:

We can't.

You don't have the required expertise. I went to ITT Technical School of Electronics (Computer Limerick Voting Department).

Ah!
The ITT TSE(CLVD).
I bow, sir, in the presence of such a qualified academic.

If there are no more votes by tomorrow morning (Chinese time) I shall cast my tie-breaking vote.

There were some very clever ones this time. The one I voted for only got my vote, and I was surprised about that. It must have a fatal flaw that I missed.

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
If there are no more votes by tomorrow morning (Chinese time) I shall cast my tie-breaking vote.

Is it tomorrow there yet? It's the day after tomorrow here in Indiana, USA, but then this place still thinks it's 1887.

I think I see the problem Geoff.
I'm working on Chinese time which runs at a different rate to US time.

I shall go and cast my vote immediately.
It may take a little longer for me to identify all the limerick writers.

Much as I like number one it's over to you Richard with number seven.

Despite my insistence on rhyming both syllables (mine was the voteless No. 2), I voted for one that only rhymed the last, namely No. 1 because it made me laugh.

Well, dang, if I'd voted for my own instead of Richard's, I would have won! BTW, did everyone know who Pele is?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

Well mine were 6 and 7. I wrote 6 simply to prove to myself that I could rhyme both syllables - although I agree that the result was workmanlike rather than especially clever or funny.

I was pleased with my number 7 - although I did wonder how many understood my "flesh in her pan" wordplay on "flash in the pan".

I'll think of a suitably challenging destination shortly.

Whose were the others?

5

3

quote:

I did wonder how many understood my "flesh in her pan" wordplay on "flash in the pan".

Having been around firearms from near infancy, I understood the misfire of a flintlock musket or rifle. The phallic appearance of a gun made the pun work for me. Now, who didn't know who Pele is in mine? I'm sure he does have Chinese fans!

Pele was a footballer - but did he have a problem with his bowels?

Kudos to Greg for producing the only truly Sino-centric one.

4 & 8

I wrote them separately and then I realized how close they were! Indeed, all mine seem to be alike. I admire those of you who write very different ones. I suppose OEDILF helps with that.

OK> For my next destination I have chosen the south coast town of Hove. This rhymes with "drove" not with "love".

I will start a new thread.