Wonderful headline in today's newspaper:

"Mystery surrounds drowning of dealer in rare books"

I sat for a minute trying to figure out how someone could drown in books. Hey Kalleh, how would you have taken this?

Anyway, seen any good headlines lately?

Morgan, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't know how to take that! As a literalist, this kind of headline isn't easy.

Not a headline, but a statement in the old book, Boners: "Mama spanked Johnny because he was wicked inthe seat of his pants." Another case of misplaced mortifier.

Dug this out of my e-mail:

The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have readA
"One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."

WEDNESDAY Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
"For sale -- R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."

THURSDAY Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!

Is it Robert Benchley who wrote a short story relating a protracted exchange of notes to and from the staff of his hotel regarding bars of soap being delivered to his room, with similar hilarious misunderstandings?

A quick Internet search unearthed this:

Hotel soap opera

Stephen

Now that, bear, is hilarious!

quote:

---

HOTEL SOAP OPERA
Attached is actual correspondence which occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times...

---

Ah. So it's not Benchley, and it isn't even S N Behrman, either. But it is exactly what I had in mind :-)

Everyone else in my family thought this headline was straightforward, so it may be the literalist in me. However, I find this one ambiguous:
"Single Mothers of Sons are More Likely to Wed than Moms of Girls"

It seems a cold cat (we are freezing now in Chicago!) wandered into the Cook County Criminal Courts Building, crawled into a transformer and knocked out the power. The Chief Criminal Judge made a decision to close the building, which is one of the nation's busiest court buildings. Yes, a lot of murderers roam those halls.

The headline for this story in the Chicago Tribune?

Court shut by a really cool cat

"Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein Found in Bed Together"

And they were not talking about a "political bedroom!"

I love Fuller's 1845 beer...and the Cubs!

Seen on the front of the Evening Standard some months ago:

Police Murder Suspect In Dock...

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kalleh:
"Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein Found in Bed Together"

---

It's been said, regarding political expediency, that politics makes strange bedfellows.

In the case of the Clintons, one might add that bedfellows make strange politics.

Talking of politics, perhaps all politicians should be actors or none should be.

And yes, I'm thinking about Glenda et al., too.

And, here is the funniest headline of all, just this morning:

"Californians Recall Davis by a Big Margin And Choose Schwarzenhegger to Replace Him"
~ NY Times

What costar of Arnold Schwartzeneger's (sp?) also went on to persue political ambitions? And what did this person costar with Arnie on? (hint, this person once had a trident on his shirt....) O.K., another hint: LadyBeth should know this one....

[This message was edited by mrtreetop on Sun Oct 12th, 2003 at 12:07.]

Headline today:

"News from the Hatch, Match and Dispatch Agencies"

In other words, the agencies that give out birth, marriage and death certificates.

From today's Metro.

Reduction in people killed and seriously injured due to speed cameras.

Glad to see those pesky speed cameras are killing and injuring fewer people now.

Reviving a thread...

I love good headlines, and the Tribune's headline yesterday was priceless, considing our weather:

Shovel, salt, repeat

Others?

Man accused of sexual assault in court

A judge is going to decide whether a Mountain View man accused of sexually assaulting his three stepchildren should stand trial or be found mentally incompetent.

Hawaii Tribune-Herald