Stated elsewhere: "It was, in fact, rare for Tom Lehrer to try to force a rhyme."

Oh yeah? From his "Elements Song":
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,
And there may be many others, but the haven't been discovered.

One of my favorite authors, by the way, and I love those "stretched" rhymes. May the force be with you!

And since CJ and Richard share my Lehrermania, perhaps a thread of favorite Lehrer lyrics and stretches?

I didn't say non-existent, I said rare. And I stick to my guns about that. Tom Lehrer used some very complex rhymes and most of them are quite proper.

And why not a Lehrer thread? I don't now have any of his records but I'm sure the lyrics are readily available II'll bet there are masses of Tom Lehrer pages on the web!

Richard English

The Masochism Tango.

I ache for the touch of your lips, Dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, Dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Let our love be a flame, not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember.
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.



...and so it goes on

"You can raise welts / Like nobody else" ???

In a "gather ye rosebuds while ye may" song, the songster, crooning to his gal, anticipates the time years hence "When You Are Old and Grey":

An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability
I'll lose my virility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability.

And for those of us who went to Catholic schools (as I did in Chicago):
"You can do what you want, if
You clear it with the Pontiff,
(Genuflect, genuflect)
Doin' the Vatican Rag..."

Possibly the most tortured yet brilliant Tom Lehrer rhymes can be found in "We Will All Go Together When We Go":

When you attend a funeral
It is sad to think that sooneral-
Later folks you love will do the same for you.

And you may think that it's tragic
Not to mention other adjec-
tives to think of all the mourning they will do.

(and later, the topper:)

You will all go to your respective Valhallas.
Go directly there, do not pass "GO," do not collect 200 dallas.

In the British version of Monopoly, I believe you collect 200 pounds (and not dollars, a.k.a. "dallas") when you pass "Go" so possibly this little bit of Ogden Nashian brilliance isn't as appreciated in the U.K.

quote:

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Originally posted by Allan:
And for those of us who went to Catholic schools (as I did in Chicago):
"You can do what you want, if
You clear it with the Pontiff,
(Genuflect, genuflect)
Doin' the Vatican Rag..."

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You left out a genuflect! You left out the most important one!!

(Trivia: That last was a rewording of a line of movie dialog by which famous brother?)

It's nearly half a century since my worldly wise friend Paul (or maybe not so worldly wise since I stole his girlfriend - and 38 years later we're still married) and I - plus a few schoolgirl friends sniggered over Tom Lehrer's "rude" lyrics. I especially remember "My Home Town", where many of the rhymes worked beautifully, providing you spoke US English.

"The guy who taught us math
and never took a bath
acquired a certain measure of renown.
For after school he sold the most AMAZING pictures
- in my home town"

The UK "maths" could never rhyme with our version of "bath" (that takes the long "a")

And I wish I could remember about the little girl next door/above the candy store.

Richard English

Is this what you were looking for?

No fellow could ignore
The little girl next door,
She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown.
Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free
In my home town.

I just can't imagine why that one so stuck in my memory!

Richard English

"My Home Town" is one of my favorites as well. Weird Al Yankovic wrote a similar number, undoubtedly influenced by the Tom Lehrer piece, and while I enjoy most of Weird Al's work this one particular offering was completely replusive in its mean-spiritedness. Like Lehrer, he affectionately recalls people from his past including a prom date he left tied up in the desert, a verse which ends with him wistfully wondering if she ever made it home that night.

In short, there is one and only one Tom Lehrer!

"I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow."

I know that those pursuits that we in England refer to as "Country Sports" are expensive, but I was not aware that, in the USA, they are apparently so expensive as to be referred to as "...dear..."

Richard English

Perhaps I should explain our custom to you.

It is not uncommon for a woman to pursue her dear, should he stray. And should she catch him the cost to him will be dear indeed (particularly if she should catch him indeed).

The married men will understand ...

As I understood it, a man chases a woman, and chases her and chases her until, in the end, she catches him.

Richard English

Well, my dear Richard, the only hunter in my life was my first husband. He went deer hunting every year, or so he told me. But he never brought home any game. I teased him for years about dear hunting instead. But to my chagrin, that, is indeed what he was doing. Thus, he became my ex-husband.

It seems clear from the monogamy thread that human beings are not by nature monogamous, so "dear hunting" seems to be a likely result by the male, anyway.

Is the female equivalent "stag hunting"?

Richard English

quote:

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Is the female equivalent "stag hunting"?

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Not by this dear!

The local paper had an article about the latest high-tech hunting gear, focusing on camoflage clothing. The headline was, How Do You Like This Outfit, Deer?