The next city we shall visit is Leeds - a city about which many a fine limerick has already been written. Let's see what we can do with it.

I'll limit entries to two per author, and limit time to ten days from today.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leeds

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

Thanks, Geoff. I'll get one to you soon.

Two players have sent theirs in, so we're off to a good start.

Here's a fairly well-known example:

There once was a man from Leeds,
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
within half an hour,
his dick was a flower,
and his balls were all covered with weeds.

Indeed, arnie! Now where is one - or two- from you?

Mine's in. This wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

We're doing well now; keep 'em coming! A lot of us are using the same rhyming words, but in very different ways. It's going to be a good selection!

Sent my 2nd one in tonight, Geoff! Nice to be done and sit back and relax.

What? Isn't writing limericks relaxing?

Should be, shouldn't it? lol

I'll post the entrails - uhh -entries tomorrow, so here's the last call!

Since I don't do polls - or windows (Sorry, Bill Gates) I'm posting the mis-Leeds - ing limericks here. If a poll savant wishes to move them, so be it.

1 There still is a lady in Leeds
Who gets up to some quite "dirty deeds",
But they ain't "done dirt cheap",
As she's making a heap
By sating men's needs to sow seeds.

2 There's a businessman living in Leeds,
And with each "regrowth" Ad he heeds,
There is much discontent
For with each Pound that's spent -
The further his hairline recedes.

Note: If your "Leeds" is not in Great Britain, replace "Pound that's" with "Dollar".


3 The old woman who lives in Leeds
Engages in countless good deeds
On top of her lap
Her pussy does nap
As she fingers her mala beads

4 “I just don’t want to write about Leeds”.
First, she whines and cajoles, then she pleads.
“I’m not feeling well.
Forget it! Oh, hell!”
With these words, her defeat, she concedes.

5 There once was a young man from Leeds
Who had some particular needs
He wanted a gal
Who'd just be his pal
But one he could lick when she bleeds


6 She likes a big crowd when she breeds
Downtown in the middle of Leeds
Come one and come all
She hastens to call
And watch me as they plant their seeds

7 A lazy young rascal from Leeds
Said, “In life I have only two speeds
Though the fast one is slow
And the slow one won’t go
They’re sufficient, I find, for my needs"

8 A rather vain fellow from Leeds
Said “See how my hairline recedes.”
“I’ve tried each cream and lotion,”
He cried with emotion,
“To stop it, but nothing succeeds.

9 A gentleman living in Leeds
With both sacred and secular needs
Said "I'll try many things -
Devil's feet, Angel's wings -
And I'll stick to whichever succeeds!"

10 At her church, a young woman from Leeds
Kneeled and prayed, counting off on her
beads:"Lord forgive my gross sins
With the MacEvoy twins,
And my joy found in sucking their seeds."

11 A dowager matron of Leeds
Attired in her Donegal tweeds
Took the bus to the square
Where she stripped almost bare--
Except for a string of black beads.

12 There was a young fellow in Leeds
Who bought his fiancée some beads.
Because he was poor,
They were less than grandeur,
So she threw them back down in the weeds.

13 There once was a seamstress in Leeds
Renowned for her tailoring deeds
'Till a bloke made a pass
"I'll fix him!" cried the lass
Sewed his willy right into his tweeds

14 A quirky young woman in Leeds
Did kleptomaniacal deeds
When her lover named Clyde
Prised her thighs open wide
Espied baubles, bangles, and beads

Done

OK, thank you. Well, kinda thank you, given that I passionately despise the poll, but everyone else has a normal mind, thus likes it.