The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2005 winners:
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
July 27, 2005, 19:44
<Asa Lovejoy>
quote:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
He may also have Weltenshlong, if he's a world-class prick.
July 27, 2005, 19:52
Seanahan
quote:
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Do other Wordcrafters get this a lot? There have been times where every one else in the room thinks I am completely retarded or racist or whatever, and says "Really?" and I say "Of course not! I was being sarcastic". Humor can never be too dry.
July 28, 2005, 00:14
arnie
quote:
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
One of the losers must have been reading this forum. See my post in the last thread here.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
July 28, 2005, 02:38
Caterwauller
You da' bomb, Arnie!
******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama
July 28, 2005, 04:51
haberdasher
quote:
Originally posted by Sunflower: The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational ... 2005 winners:
Not to be a party pooper or anything, but I think the list is mis-attributed. I know I've seen many of these before and I think it's a lot longer ago than 2005; and I do believe it's the "Style Invitational."
Not to detract from the cleverness of the constructions, and a lot of people will (quite properly) smile at them.
EDIT: Here's an identification of "ignoranus" from 2001.This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
July 28, 2005, 06:47
Sunflower
quote:
Originally posted by arnie:
quote:
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
One of the losers must have been reading this forum. See my post in the last thread .
I see this took a couple of years to get to me! Asa!!!!!!! You're the one who told me to post it!
July 28, 2005, 07:07
haberdasher
P.S. I would simplify the definition of "ignoranus", cut out excess verbiage, and leave it simply as
IGNORANUS: a stupid asshole
Pay your audience the implied compliment of being able to figure out where it comes from. (It's also funnier that way.)
July 28, 2005, 21:12
<Asa Lovejoy>
quote:
Asa!!!!!!! You're the one who told me to post it!
OK, so now you all know who the ignoranus is!
July 29, 2005, 04:08
Caterwauller
Now, now, kids. I don't think we need to engage in name-calling - even of ourselves.
Wherever they are from - they're still funny!
******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama