May 26, 2018, 18:28haberdasher
The Oxnard Companion to Limericks
Eight is enough (or, rather, that's as many as we're gonna get, I think).
Choose your favorite:
A cockfighting hombre in Oxnard
Whom some folk described as a retard*
Didn't think winter weather
Would distress beak or feather
But a very hard freeze froze his cocks hard
* (pronounced RE-tard)
I once knew an oil man from Oxnard
Whose forefather worked as an oxherd.
Retired now and richer,
Descendant's a twitcher,
He's ticking the African oxbird
A backwards eccentric from Oxnard--
Claimed BA from College of Knocks-Hard--
Used Ladies' not Mens',
And shot all the hens
To keep them out of the foxyard.
I have a small shop up in Oxnard
Where I put up a balm I call Phlox Nard
Made of processed perennials
Sold to Millennials
Packed with a Jack-in-the-Box card.
There once was a fella from Oxnard
Who had a huge [fill in a "cock" word]
But no one up-wised
'Cuz he kept it disguised
Beneath kilting, and thoroughly boxered.
A cowboy once rode into Oxnard
And got him a job in a stock yard
His job it was renderin'
With queries engendrin'
"Is what you got in that box lard?"
The Longshoremen’s Union of Oxnard
Had by picket-lines rendered the docks barred,
So to make their strike fail
Goods were brought in by rail:
Either hopperred or tankerred or boxcarred.
Near LA in a city, Oxnard,
Lives a guy who is working so hard
At writing a verse,
But it couldn't be worse -
Let's just say that he's hardly a bard!
May 27, 2018, 17:40Proofreader
I agree with Bob.
#1 L2 doesn't rhyme with L1/5.
Yes, #7 is THE ONE! That's three votes, which probably means the author can take a bow. Wow!
May 28, 2018, 15:43bethree5
Sheesh I almost voted for #1 until that rhyme issue was pointed out - I'll also go for #7.
May 29, 2018, 17:18haberdasher
...and I like the clever- and outside-the-boxness of 5, even more than the ditto-ditto of 7.
May 30, 2018, 19:51Kalleh
Is it too late to vote? I like #7, if not.
May 30, 2018, 20:01haberdasher
It’s never too late to vote. Anyone else want to venture an opinion? So far we have Number Seven five times and Number Five once.
June 02, 2018, 12:28Geoff
IS this the first time one limerick has gotten ALL the votes?
June 02, 2018, 17:36haberdasher
…only five out of six. But who’s counting?!
Well done, Shu. You’re It!
June 03, 2018, 17:29haberdasher
Loose Ends Department:
P.S. The divers authors were (barring careless error on my part)
1 - Geoff
2 - beethree5
3 - beethree5
4 - haberdasher
5 - beethree5
6 - Geoff
7 - shufitz
8 - kalleh
Congrats to all for your efforts - this one was a toughie!
June 03, 2018, 21:31Kalleh
I'll let him know. I did like it!