...the limerick game would be pushing up the daisies.

I doesn’t matter if it’s Vegas or Streatham
Limericks? I’m not gonna get ‘em.
So as the numbers won’t climb
I am going to call time
And as for these games. let’s forget ‘em

I have three limericks. One each for Vegas and Streatham and one for both and all from Hab who, without a vote being cast, I hereby declare the winner.

It's not easy to rhyme with Las Vegas
The letters brought last are Omegas
The commerce is awful
And sometimes unlawful
With brothels right next to bodegas

A guy with a cottage in Streatham
Has two daughters who’ll purr if you pet ’em.
Though pickings are meager
They’re willing - no, eager -
They’d sleep with the world if he’d let’em.

A guy with a cottage in Streatham
Has two daughters who’ll purr if you pet ’em.
Though pickings are meager
They’re willing - no, eager -
They’d sleep with the world if he’d let’em.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

In a rare oversight, one of the limericks was omitted and in its place another was duplicated. Here's the missing one:

Some limericks based upon Streatham?
I can't say I ever have met 'em.
Like pictures by Degas
Of dancers in Vegas
They're rare; you'll be lucky to get 'em.

Perhaps the Assembled Multitudes, such as they are, might care to indicate a preference among them?

Oops. In my defence I was bewildered by the incredible number of entries and entrants.

My, my, my, aren’t we in a hurry-flurry-scurry! You mean I can’t just check in 6 wks later to see how it’s going? Talk about giving people the bum’s rush!

Just for that, I shall put some frosting on this collapsed cake. For your edification. You’re welcome.

1.(with hat-tip to hab…)
A gorgeous face passed me in Streatham.
Advancing, pretending I’d met ‘em--
[He of uncertain gender—
And I loathed to offend ‘er]:
“Do join me for tea, Sir or Madam.”

2.There’s a badly-named park down in Streatham
With a pool and a track, but forget ‘em.
Tourists look though they might:
Not a Pharoah in sight--
Tooting Common’s a name just to whet ‘em.

Anyone with the hilarious audicity to rhyme Degas with Vegas gets my vote any day of the year!!

Wasn't there a character in Sinclair Lewis' Main Street who referred disparagingly to Common Folk as the "Hwa Pollwa"? She thought the phrase was French...

Tooting Common? Soulds like a place one goes to pass gas. Does one wear a windbreaker there?


Sorry Icouldn't figure anything out for this one. Old age and brain damage have done me in.