A non-Tom-Swift version of this was found while looking up the "knot" joke. It's a bit obscure, but do forgive me.

"I hate that infinite sequence of Greek foreigers," said Tom Zenophobically.

"My steam engine is just a toy." said Tom Heroically.

"What does a high-class hooker cost in this town?" asked the chemist, tartrating.

"I decline to sing with my chorus in this hole in the ground" said Tom trenchantly.

"After careful consideration, and a lot of research, I think we ought to go ahead with the surgery...but somehow my partner has come to the exactly opposite conclusion!" said Tom paradoxically.

"Some days I'm mad about that Paganini piece, but I seem to change my mind just about every other day!" said Tom capriciously.

(...the ol' goat!)

"Ive lost my Argyranthemum frutescens," said Tom, lackadaisically.

"Let's see. First I'll retain an amanuensis. He can employ the cook, who will locate an orchid-grower, who can obtain for me a suitable brownstone on 35th Street." said Nero Wolfe hierarchically.

(I think that was a Goodwin!)

"Rry rrame rris rrAstro", growled the Jetson's dog astronomically.

"My church his burned down!" cried Reverend Tom parsonmoniousy.

quote: said Tom capriciously

"Are you a Taurus or a Libra?" Tom hircinely asked the sweet young thing in the singles bar.

(that old goat!)

quote: in the singles bar

"Do you like limericks?" Tom Leared.

Remember on one of our chats where I said that I understood about half of zmj's posts? Well, I think the same is true of Hab's Tom Swifties!

These are great, guys. Way out of my league!

"I'll take charge of that scandal on the Indian reservation," said Tom, arrogating.

"Sonny Bono's ex-wife has become so wealthy," said Tom Cher-richingly.

"Somehow I just knew you guys were gonna post all that stuff," said Tom, psychically.

Bush was elected to the presidency, said Tom Kerrylessly.

I'm not sure that counts, but I thought it funny.

"Now that he's won an Oscar, the Democrats should renominate their 2000 presidential candidate," said Tom AlleGorically.

"And leave off that woman who's a senator from New York," he added Hilarioulessly.

"I just hope the Republicans don't renominate the guy they had in 1996," said Tom Dolefully.

"I can't sleep properly at nights with the current prime minister in office." said Tom, Blairily.

"Of the four C's of diamonds, the most important is 'cut'." Tom said, facetiously

I just received a letter from the IRS, Tom said taxingly.

"Would you like a drink?" Tom asked, cordially.

"Either red or white will do nicely," she wined.

"I could make a centerpiece from that old vase and those shells," she said craftily.

"If you don't use a thimble, you'll prick yourself," she said pointedly.

"Your behavior is rather bitchy," he said shrewdly.

"Would you like a drink?" Tom asked, cordially.
"Either red or white will do nicely," she wined.

What an great pair! Which inspired the following:

"Whiskey for me!" said Tom spiritedly.

"I've finished my beer," Richard ex-aled. "Now I something different, but similar," said Richard stoutly.

"Want some candy, little girl?" said Tom lickerishly.

Jo, good to see you here! We hope you're doing better.

What a great word: lickerishly I hadn't heard it before.

Quoted from the book "Tom Swifties"

"I'm afraid prunes aren't my dish", said Tom loosely

"Tennis isn't my game" said Tom lovingly

Bob

Pardon the vulgarity --

"How about some oral sex?" he asked cunningly.

"Why not?" she answered fallaciously.

"How many tongues do you know," asked Polly, glottally.

"Pardon the vulgarity," he says? Sir! We don't merely pardon it; we encourage it!

In that spirit (and having done a thorough search for words begining with inde- or indi-):

"I love sexual congress," said Tom indicatively.
"Well, I'm a virgin," replied Tomasina inscrutably.
"Regular sex is fine, but shall we try a different orifice?" asked Tom indifferently.
"Personally, I am gay," said Tom indigently.

"I haven't got any bad teeth, yet." said Tom, precariously.

"I would like an apple." said Tom, fruitlessly.

I love all of these!

Technically, I think this isn't a Tom Swiftie, but I had fun with it:

Creating a pregnant pause, Tom's girlfriend said, "Honey, I've missed my period."

"Is it Internet or Internot?" asked Tom, disconnectedly.



PS .... When my friend Mike Sweet was Principal of a certain school I composed the following ...

"It's not the teachers or students that are important in this school -- it's the Principal of the thing," declared Mike, sweetly.

“M-mm, the best trout ever,” said Tom with a catch in his throat.

oops. above post doesn't quite make it. how about:
"You'll never guess what Van Gogh sent me," said Tom eerily.

"I keep Tom's picture in my heart locket," she said independently.

"I have no regrets," said Tom lachrymosely.

"This apple has a worm," said Tom indecorously.

"The wedding has been cancelled," said Tom, unceremoniously.


..... ........

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

GRUM? Did I miss something?

Welcome, bethree5! I like the Van Gogh one.

"Whoops! I picked up your hat in error." said Tom, mistakenly.

"Where's the beach?" asked Tom, unsurely.

After posting about Tom's unceremoniousness I woke up from a brief afternoon nap, still at the keyboard, and thought that was a "Four-Letter" submission so I added GRUM (as in Groom) ....

Kalleh brought my attention to my mistake ... this morning I awoke in the midst of a nightmare where I was trying to post a link to a song named
"Me And My Error ... "

It would be a parody on "Me And My Arrow," and I can't post the link to it yet because it has not yet been written.

Google yields ....... Web Results 1 - 10 of about 57,200 for "me and my error," and (surprisingly fewer) only 37,000 for "me and my arrow."

Here, if anyone is interested, are linx ...

Me And My Error

Me And My Arrow

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

How about " Me and My Shadow" ?

That has a distinguished lineage. Perry Como even recorded it.

"We now return to our regular scheduled programming," said Tom, radially; then he added, manually, "I have remarkably small hands -- wee paws for station identification."

Said Tom, with an adverb intensive,
If you must keep this up, I'll get pensive,
For adverbish (!) nouns,
Are like ugly clowns,
Eventually, we get unresponsive.

Bob

"Do you like camping?" asked Tom intently.

"Someone passed gas," said Tom assentingly.

"I've been driving for twenty years without an accident." said Tom, recklessly.

"The Tower in Pisa leans at just the right angle." said Tom, idealistically.

"Friends sent me lots of packages of goodies when I was in the Army overseas," said Tom, carefully.

"Both Tom and I have doctorates," said Tom's wife, paradoxically.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

"Scrambled or easy-over?," asked Tom fliply.

"I'm back down to a size 'large'!" exclaimed Tom, nonplussed.

"I'm still wearing X-tra Smalls," Tommy said excessively.