"This Viagra just doesn't work," said Tom, inscrutably.
December 28, 2008, 16:38
jerry thomas
"That's a hard one," she said, feelingly.
December 28, 2008, 17:17
<Proofreader>
"Iwasn't aware it was that time of the month," he said, stiffly.
December 28, 2008, 18:07
Kalleh
quote:
But what happened to all the Swifties we've been posting for the last few years???
I am not sure. I looked for some other threads as this one seemed very old, but I couldn't find them with the search words I used. I am sure it's here somewhere.
These are great, guys!
"Write more of those Swifties," Tom said haltingly!
December 28, 2008, 18:11
<Proofreader>
"You have beautiful boobies," Tom said, bitterly.
"Just how many children do you have. Mrs. Dionne?" Tom asked, broodingly.This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
December 28, 2008, 19:50
<Asa Lovejoy>
quote:
And five of them all came at once.
"Ewwwww, what a sticky mess," she ejaculated.
December 28, 2008, 19:54
jerry thomas
Madame Dionne, not being a dunce Counting all, including the runts. She said let me see There's one two and three And five of them all came at once.
December 30, 2008, 19:04
Kalleh
"I'm waiting with bated breath," the fish said catchingly.
For the record, I did find the word eye-cathingly, though not necessarily catchingly.
December 30, 2008, 19:36
<Proofreader>
"What do you mean, don't eat the cow pattie?" asked Tom, foul-mouthedly.
December 31, 2008, 18:49
<Asa Lovejoy>
quote:
Originally posted by Proofreader: "What do you mean, don't eat the cow pattie?" asked Tom, foul-mouthedly.
"Because, dear Tom, we use the dried ones in our stoves," she said warmly.
January 11, 2009, 18:28
<Proofreader>
"May I come, too?" asked Tom, spunkily.
August 20, 2009, 18:41
<Proofreader>
"I prefer to sleep alone, Mr. Madoff," said Tom conjoinedly.
"I dislike foreplay," said Tom unfeelingly.
August 21, 2009, 19:44
<Proofreader>
"I could go for some shellfish," said Tom clamourously.
March 04, 2010, 10:53
Myth Jellies
"I can't keep this hub and rim together much longer!" bespoke Tom.
Myth Jellies Cerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
March 04, 2010, 11:39
<Proofreader>
"I can't see the target," said Tom, aimlessly.
March 14, 2010, 19:43
haberdasher
"How I wish the dentist's Novacaine worked better for me!" said Tom with feeling.
"I've drunk too much again...I think I'm going to throw up!" said the barfly.
"We're here to pick up the dining room set you wanted refinished," said the movers comfortably.
March 15, 2010, 04:27
arnie
"Spring hasn't arrived yet" sid Tom, icily.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
March 15, 2010, 07:24
<Proofreader>
"Summer is here!" said Tom heatedly.
May 19, 2010, 19:07
haberdasher
"What do you mean, you don't know where the French monument to their Unknown Soldier is?" demanded the teacher, archly?
"Wait, wait...it's in Paris, near the Place de l'Étoile!" said Tom, triumphantly!
May 19, 2010, 19:23
<Proofreader>
"I'm sorry, gang. I see no reason to divide up the loot from the robbery," said Tom, irrationally.
May 19, 2010, 20:30
bethree5
"Winter is depressing," said Tom SADly.
May 19, 2010, 20:54
Kalleh
Nice one! I love Swifties.
"You have a great tush!", Tom butted in.
May 20, 2010, 01:53
arnie
"Will you be my Olivia Newton-John?" asked Tom, greasily.
At the funeral, "What's that stand supporting the coffin called?" asked Tom, beerily.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
May 20, 2010, 05:28
bethree5
"No, but I'll be your John Travolta," he replied pulpily...
May 20, 2010, 05:37
<Proofreader>
"Did you get a breast implant?" Ask Tom fictitiously.
May 20, 2010, 10:32
<Proofreader>
"Don't look now, Tru, but we're having sex," said Tom intrusively.
May 20, 2010, 17:05
bethree5
"Hey nonny nonny" is just an old refrain, he said anonymously.
May 20, 2010, 17:10
bethree5
"Oops, I damaged your tree with my hatchet," said Tom accidentally.
May 20, 2010, 17:10
bethree5
quote:
Originally posted by bethree5: "Hey nonny" is just an old refrain, he said anonymously.
May 21, 2010, 13:45
<Proofreader>
quote:
quote: Originally posted by bethree5: "Hey nonny" is just an old refrain, he said anonymously.
"Hey, noony" is just an old refrain, he said heynonnymously.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
July 24, 2011, 20:48
bethree5
paraphrasing another from the Shortz puzzle: "Take mine," said Anna magnanimously.
July 26, 2011, 06:38
bethree5
Shortz book again, my fave:
"What a good boy am I," said Jack with aplomb.
March 18, 2012, 16:20
bethree5
>bump< Anybody for a Tom Swiftie?
"How on earth did Mom's mom contract Lyme Disease?" asked Tom grammatically.
March 18, 2012, 20:38
Kalleh
Great idea, Bethree! We've developed a lot of them in the past, so let's forgive repeats.
I don't think this one is really that appropriate, but then I am tired:
"We have a new puppy," Kalleh said, dog-tiredly.
I'll be thinking, though!
March 19, 2012, 06:22
<Proofreader>
"I'm not too fond of puppies," said Kalleh, cattily.
March 19, 2012, 21:04
Kalleh
Much better!
March 21, 2012, 18:11
BobHale
"Aaarrrgghhhhh! I'm caught in my fly zipper" screamed Tom, dictatorially.
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
March 21, 2012, 21:12
Kalleh
Now, that was good, Bob!
"Let's unite!" Tom said plainly.
March 22, 2012, 03:07
arnie
"I'm unemployed now" said Tom, dolefully. "Elvis has left the building" said Tom, expressly.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
March 22, 2012, 07:44
<Proofreader>
"i'm making an album of songs from foreign countries," Tom importuned.
March 22, 2012, 22:33
BobHale
"Limericks MUST have five lines!" said Tom quintessentially.
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
March 23, 2012, 02:42
arnie
"I'm ready to hit the golf ball" Tom forewarned. "Yes, we have no bananas" said Tom, fruitlessly.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
March 23, 2012, 07:59
bethree5
"He stole my girl," said Tom mistakenly. "I could have had a V-8," sighed Tom inadvertently.
March 23, 2012, 12:23
<Proofreader>
"Do you like my new spectacles?" asked Tom, glassy-eyed.
"Climb up on the car roof, Seamus," said Tom, doggedly.
"This is great Viagra," said Tom, pointedly.This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
March 23, 2012, 21:13
Kalleh
"I ran out of pineapple," said Tom dolefully.
March 26, 2012, 01:39
arnie
"This dish is a great way to use up gooseberries," said Tom, foolishly. "My name is Tom," he said swiftly. "..." said Tom, blankly.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
March 26, 2012, 03:04
BobHale
“I think this flea is French,” said Tom zealously. “Phic – you have said quite enough!: said Tom xenomorphically. “I’ll take 2,240 pounds” he said wantonly.
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
