quote:

“I’ll take 2,240 pounds” he said wantonly.

....and longingly.

"Once a King, always a King, but once a knight is enough," as the old saying gufffaws. But once in eight weeks is scarcely enough, so we resume:

-Zut! I didn't see that French "No Smoking" sign! fumed Tom defensively. [from the web]

"I just buried..." He paused. "...my favorite old fingerless glove." He stopped again. "No fingers." He shook his head. "Never had any." Tom spoke intermittently. [mine]

"I am piqued, mad, fuming, furious, infuriated, and wrathful," said Tom, increasingly angry.

"Todd has turned out to be a real pain," said Tom Akinly.

In case you don't get Hab's web-sourced one above, here's a French "no smoking" sign: http://www.signzoom.com/DEFENS...gn-French_p_121.html

"No, Fred, I'm too old for sex now, Wilma said dryly.

Oh, that is funny, Geoff!

Give me a break, said Tom as he limped away.

"No, really. I've never played Musical Chairs before," smirked Tom, deceitfully.

"I've destroyed all my bulbs since I prefer darkness," said Tom, delightedly.

"I prefer my music without rhythm," said Tom decadently.

"The smog is a bit thick," said Tom debonairly.

"I'm going to camp out right here on Wilshire Blvd," said Tom LAtently.

"I'm so sorry I killed this South American animal," said Tom, llamentably.

"My hair is on fire!" said Tom, glowingly.

"My toupee just exploded," Tom hairumphed.

"Ow, that cookie-pan is hot!" cried Tom, caught red-handed.

"My toupee just exploded,"
"My hair is on fire!"

cried Tom, distressedly.

"I don't care if your business goes bankrupt," said Tom, unconcernedly.

"You really need to go on a diet," sneered Tom thinly.

"I do not!" she retorted fatly.

"What did I so to merit this beneficence from the government?" aksed Tom, dolefully.

"The Republicans totally ignored the request from their former presidential candidate," said Tom, Dolefully.

"Some colleges are tossing out SAT scores," said Tom, detestedly.

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"I die" Tom croaked.

"I like hot dogs" she said frankly.

"Can anyone help me with this tourniquet?" asked Tom, staunchly.

"I've always dreamed of screwing twins," said Tom, intuitively.

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"I have to put down sod again. I have to put down sod again," repeated Tom.

"Drop the plumb line" said Tom, leadenly.

"I"m a sexual superstar, said Tom, with great diction.

"I got sacked and lost my job" said Tom, redundantly.

"I love eating hot dogs," said Tom, frankly.

"Sinatra is my favorite singer," said Tom, Frankly.

"Do you have any French currency?" asked Tom, francly.

"I don't understand how my congressman can mail junk without paying postage," said Tom, frankly.

"Your fly is open," said Tom, frankly.

quote:

"Your fly is open," said Tom, frankly.

I don't get this one.

quote:

Your fly is open," said Tom, frankly. I don't get this one.

A Frankfurt-like object is exposed. Although it could be a weiner, or a trouser snake, or a one-eyed eel. Who can say?

I see. Don't try telling that one in England. You'd be met with blank incomprehension. We don't talk about German sausages much.

quote:

Don't try telling that one in England. You'd be met with blank incomprehension.

quote:

Don't try telling that one in England. You'd be met with blank incomprehension.

Cultural differences.

"I don't know why they made rifle cartridges with no bullets in them," Tom said blankly.

"You're holding the gun at the wrong end," shot back Tom.

"An Aztec sacrificial ceremony was no big deal," said Tom, heartlessly.

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"My pencil needs sharpening" said Tom, bluntly.

"Yes, we have no bananas" said Tom, fruitlessly.

"I've invented a multi-shot crossbow," said Tom, aromatically.

I thought Cupid's smell was arrowmatic.

Do you know the difference between Idaho, sweet, and Tom Brokaw? The last is a commentator.

Hmmm, not sure I get that one, Proof.

"I'm blue," said Tom, frostily.

I verified that "frostily" is indeed a word. I hadn't been sure.

I was going to use disarmingly, but decided to see if it has been use. Here it is.

"All right! Drop your guns!" said Tom, disarmingly.

"Your appendage is gangrenous, so we'll have to amputate," said Tom, disarmingly.

"Spent my last penny," said Tom insensibly.

"Excuse me-- ate too many beans," observed Tom astutely.

"Food fight-- look out for the cherries jubilee!" cried Tom flamboyantly.

"Go to the second castle," saide Tom, fortuitously.

"Someone let the air out of my tires," Tom said flatulently.

"I've got asthma," Tom said breathlessly.

"Come here, Dear, I just took a Viagra," Tom said stiffly.

"Beans are known as the musical fruit," tooted Tom.

"I've spent the day at the beach, counting ladies' bottoms," Tom assumed.

'Defenestration hurts," said Tom, painfully.

By pure chance I came upon mention of a Tom Swifty by a well-known author:

By Stephen King: "'I'm the plumber,' he said, with a flush."

"Time for commencement," said Tom, gradually.

"Could I have a banana split with just ice cream?" asked Tom, fruitlessly.

"My boat broke its mooring!" said Tom, insecurely.

I want to be a girl, said Quentin, Crisply.