Here is the poll for the Wineham limerick. The limericks are posted as I received them.1. <BR>If you’re taking your granny to Wineham,<BR>Then the Royal Oak’s where you should dine ‘em<BR>But don’t let ‘em lose<BR>Their teeth in the booze<BR>It’s one 'ell of a bother to fin(d) ‘em.<BR><BR>2.<BR>A diamond prospector from Wineham<BR>Is looking for women to mine ’em.<BR>If they don’t make the grade<BR>With a pick and a spade,<BR>He’ll take rough uns and try to refine ‘em.<BR><BR>3. <BR>When randy dudes wine 'em and dine 'em,<BR>The very fine women of Wineham<BR>Won't fall for the bloke<BR>Unless at "The Oak",<BR>Where well may the meal undermine 'em.<BR><BR>4. <BR>A naval lieutenant from Wineham,<BR>Did his Service on HMS Pineham.<BR>If the damn Japanese<BR>Had laid mines in the seas<BR>Then he’d sail there and promptly unmine ‘em.<BR><BR>5.<BR>Different preferences? Why not combine 'em.<BR>Bestiality? Bondage? Align 'em.<BR>And some necrophilia?<BR>Well, what could be sillier?<BR>Just try flogging a dead horse in Wineham.<BR><BR>6. <BR>At the pub that I frequent in Wineham,<BR>The fare that they serve does define 'em<BR>There's steak and french fritter<BR>With Sussex Best Bitter.<BR>They really do wine 'em and dine 'em!<BR><BR>7. <BR>There is a young fella in Wineham<BR>Whose drunkenness sure does define 'im.<BR>He chugs down his beer,<BR>And Whiskey's good cheer,<BR>But I fear the police will confine 'im!1234567
Richard English
December 17, 2010, 20:26
Kalleh
Thanks, Richard!
December 18, 2010, 12:07
Richard English
I see limerick number 4 has leapt into an early lead. I'll only cast my own vote if it's needed to break a tie.
Richard English
December 18, 2010, 14:30
BobHale
I have no wish to tout for votes but if no one votes for me I'm coming round and beating your deceased equine with a stick!
Damn!
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
December 18, 2010, 21:52
Kalleh
Richard, go ahead and vote. I am sure you can be objective, even though you know who wrote them.
December 21, 2010, 21:22
Kalleh
I know we've talked about these graphs before, but they are so counterintuitive, aren't they? I just count down to see which ones got votes.
Let's have some more votes, people!
December 23, 2010, 04:38
Richard English
Still only four votes - maybe everyone's on holiday. I'll leave the poll open for a bit longer.
Richard English
December 23, 2010, 20:23
Kalleh
Good idea. We are a little thin these days because of the holidays.
December 29, 2010, 01:23
Richard English
With seven limericks and only four votes there seems little point in closing the poll yet, so I won't.
Richard English
December 29, 2010, 18:55
<Proofreader>
There's no dusty boots here in Wineham. It's not that their owners consign 'em. The cobbler in place Works at quite a quick pace At polishing shoes and to shine 'em.
December 29, 2010, 21:09
Kalleh
Yah! Proof has voted as I see there are now 5 votes. I would have voted for yours, Proof!
Come, now. Can we get a couple more votes? ["Pretty please," she whines about Wineham.]
December 30, 2010, 02:23
Richard English
I see we presently have a tie. Some more votes would be nice, otherwise I will use my own vote as a tie-breaker.
Richard English
December 31, 2010, 18:54
<Proofreader>
So here's to the ladies of Wineham: They are prone to let all men recline 'em. They're such erotic sluts They will screw men or mutts Never caring if you wine or dine 'em.This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
January 01, 2011, 09:54
Richard English
Two excellent limericks - a shame they are too late for the competition. But at least it shows that Wineham isn't that hard to rhyme!
Richard English
January 01, 2011, 15:52
<Proofreader>
Don't ignore those young ladies in Wineham. It's a shame to pass through without trineham. Kiss their red luscious lips Grasp their smoothly plump hips Run your hands down their legs and entwineham.
January 02, 2011, 03:15
Richard English
I would love to meet young girls from Wineham If only I knew where to fine' em For young here means forty And the ladies most naughty Are so wrinkled you'd first have to iron 'em
Richard English
January 02, 2011, 10:01
<Proofreader>
There's a group of men living in Wineham Whose concern is with condoms. Not buyin' 'em. They create ribbed projections On ends of erections -- There's good money if you can design 'em.
January 02, 2011, 12:21
Richard English
These active men living in Wineham Perhaps you would care to define 'em? Most can't have erections So condom selections Are pointless since LRC do not design 'em.
(LRC = London Rubber Company, makers of the well-known "Durex" brand)
Richard English
January 02, 2011, 14:31
<Proofreader>
In Wineham, you'll find a fine condom. "These are great!" declared wearers who donned 'em. "They won't slip off your dick And the ribs do the trick," Say the gals as we merrily pound 'em.
My apologies for the slant rhyme.
January 03, 2011, 01:22
Richard English
Plenty of fine limericks (too late to be judged, sadly) but still not many votes.
Tomorrow, if there's still no clear winner, I will choose between the two leaders.
Richard English
January 04, 2011, 03:39
Richard English
Well, I doubt we're going to get any more votes so it falls to me to decide between the two leading entries - limerick number 4 and limerick number 6.
Limerick number 4 is technically perfect and the "unmine 'em" rhyme is masterly. If it has a fault it is that the only connection with Wineham is that of the rhyme, although I am aware that HMS Pineham was an actual vessel.
Limerick number 6 has a strong connection with Wineham, Sussex Best Bitter being the flagship brew of Harvey's Brewery, the owners of the local pub. The slight problem I have with this one is the scansion in L1, which does not work for UK English speakers since "frequent", when used as a verb, is stressed on its second syllable (it is stressed on its first syllable when used as an adjective).
However, in view of its appropriateness I give my vote to number 6, which was written by (roll of drums) Kalleh.
The full role call of writers is:
1. Mike 2. Mike 3. Greg S 4. Mike 5. Bob Hale 6. Kalleh 7. Kalleh
So it's over to you, Kalleh, to come up with the next exciting destination.
Richard English
January 04, 2011, 20:28
Kalleh
Yes!!!!
Thanks so much, everyone, and I promise not to disappoint you as I represent Wordcraft's Limerick Game to the masses.
I'll start another thread on a place for us to limericize.
January 05, 2011, 05:04
Greg S
I only just found this thread. I was waiting over Christmas New Year for a note in the original Wineham thread (which would result in an email via notification in my Inbox), to say that the Poll was open, but none was forthcoming. I was here all the time and could have voted, but didn't know the vote was on. Nice set of limericks. I probably would have voted for No. 5.
Regards Greg
January 05, 2011, 11:50
Richard English
Sorry about that - I started a new thread and assumed that everyone checked the threads for new postings.
Richard English
January 05, 2011, 12:59
BobHale
quote:
Originally posted by Greg S: I probably would have voted for No. 5.
And I would have been duly grateful.
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.